Zoolander (2001) * *

Directed by:  Ben Stiller

Starring:  Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, Will Ferrell, Jerry Stiller, Jon Voight, David Duchovny

Zoolander is a strange marriage of satire and your average action thriller.     Co-written by Stiller, Zoolander hedges its bets by mixing the two uncomfortably.     By the end, the film spends so much energy and time on the thriller part that we forget it ever was a satire.

The plot is creaky at best.    Moronic fashion model Derek Zoolander (Stiller) is brainwashed by a fashion mogul (Ferrell) into assasinating the president of Malaysia because he is against child labor and sweat shops.     The president sounds reasonable, but it seems child labor keeps production costs down for the fashion industry, and discontinuation of child labor will make clothing a lot less profitable.    

The beginning of the film works best, when dopey, self-centered Zoolander accidentally accepts a fashion award actually won by his rival Hansel (Wilson), who is replete with a flowing mane of blond hair.     Humiliated by the snafu, Zoolander briefly retires, trying his hand working with his father in a coal mine before accepting what seems to be a lucrative modeling offer by Mugatu (Ferrell), whose plans are of course more sinister.

Stiller is at his funniest when he satirizes male models, but as the plot progresses, he gradually becomes smarter, which isn't so funny.    Smarter is a relative term for Zoolander, who is upset when Mugatu shows him a model of Zoolander's vision of a "Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good"... because he can't grasp how the children will fit inside the model.   His friends aren't much smarter.    They are blown up during a gasoline fight at a gas station.

Then, the actual plot kicks in, with Zoolander teaming up with a Time magazine columnist named Matilda (Taylor) and Hansel to stop Mugatu's plan.     Taylor, Stiller's real-life wife, is a natural beauty and gamely goes along for the ride.     The laughs stop coming and we're stuck with a silly plot.     There are some Frankie Goes To Hollywood references (remember them?) and other nonsense, but the movie forgets why it is funny about a quarter of the way through.