Neighbors (2014) *

Directed by:  Nicholas Stoller

Starring:  Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Lisa Kudrow

Animal House this ain't.    Neighbors and Animal House both focus on the antics of heavy-partying fraternities, but that is where the similarities end.     Animal House was funny because of its anarchic spirit and actually took some time to develop its characters so guys like D-Day, Otter, and Bluto are still remembered nearly 40 years later.    Nothing about Neighbors will be remembered 40 minutes later let alone 40 years.    Neighbors makes the crucial mistake of believing that the frat parties themselves are funny.   The party scenes are so choppily edited with blaring background techno music the viewer will get a headache.     A large fountain is placed in the backyard which could just as easily be situated in front of any City Hall in the U.S.    Who pays the electrical bill for the frat house?    Who paid to get the fountain shipped there?    

The plot of the film is well-explained in the ads and movie poster.    New parents Mac (Rogen) and Kelly (Byrne) are adjusting to parenthood when a loud fraternity moves into the vacant house next door.    The fraternity president is Teddy (Efron), who is often seen with his shirt off just to show us all how much he has been going to the gym lately.    They move in so much stuff that it begs the question where they keep it all.    How many people live at the frat house?

At first, Mac and Kelly make peace with Teddy and the crew by partying with them.    Sometimes all night.    The baby is apparently forgotten as everyone smokes weed and bonds.    The truce doesn't last though, because Mac and Kelly are kept up all night by the obnoxious neighbors.    They call the police and then the ever-escalating feud begins, in which both sides inflict physical and emotional pain on each other.    The best of these pranks was given away in the trailers, in which Mac's car airbags are stolen and used to launch Mac into the ceiling when he sits down in his cubicle chair.    The rest play like bad outtakes from Jackass.

Mac and Kelly are seemingly the only neighbors who complain to the police about the noise.    There is a brief explanation that the fraternity "bought them off".    Considering the frat boys do nothing but hang around and party all day and night, how do they get the money to buy everyone off?    There are so many questions it threatens to become a list.

Neighbors, however, doesn't deserve much thought.    Many of Rogen and Byrne's scenes feel annoyingly improvised.    Each grows more wearisome than the last, playing like streams of consciousness gone berserk.    I can imagine Rogen and company cracking themselves up and lighting up a big joint at the end of the day's shooting with satisfied smiles.     Like many of Rogen's other movies, there are plenty of weed references and plenty of weed smoking.    We get it, Seth.    You like weed.    There is also plenty of male bonding with homoerotic subtext, plus hazing in which freshmen are humiliated by being forced to perform blatantly homosexual acts.    Do the writers of Neighbors think this is funny?    It outlines my argument as to why I never joined a fraternity in college.    Why go through the embarrassment and indignation of pledging just so I could wear a jacket and get into frat parties for free?   The cover charge for these parties back in 1989 was $2.00 by the way.    I'd rather just pay the $2.00 and spare myself the nonsense.

Thankfully, Neighbors only runs about 90 minutes, but it sure does feel longer.   It is a long slog through situations and a plot which fail to amuse on any level.     The actors put a lot of energy into a lost cause.