Directed by: Paul Mazursky
Starring: Bette Midler, Woody Allen, Bill Irwin
Scenes From A Mall is a mostly two character movie with a creepy, annoying mime sticking his nose in on occasion. I'm guessing whoever was running this mall thought hiring a mime to entertain shoppers was a swell idea, but it wasn't. Thankfully, mimes just aren't something you see much of anymore. Then again, other than TV and the late Marcel Marceau, did we ever really see mimes in our every day lives?
Scenes From A Mall runs about 85 minutes and it has barely enough material to cover that. It's pretty thin. Two well-off Los Angeleans, sports agent Nick (Allen) and psychologist/author Deborah (Midler) celebrate their 16th wedding anniversary by going to the local mall to purchase things for their upcoming anniversary party and trip. Out of the blue, Nick confesses to an affair which sends Deborah reeling. He attempts to console her, she's angry, they scream at each other, and then reconcile. They even wind up having sex in a movie theater.
By all accounts, the movie should be over by now, but in order to fluff the film out to feature-length, Deborah confesses to an affair herself, causing all of the same things to happen as before, except the makeup sex. Then, the movie is over. Other than the mime who seems to be stalking Nick and Deborah, Scenes From A Mall concerns itself with Nick and Deborah, while hundreds of extras walk by and an a capella quartet sings Christmas songs. Oh, and I almost forgot the rappers who blast their music from a boombox. There isn't a lot of character development here. We count on the goodwill we have with Midler and Allen to try and pull this off. They try mightily and are generally likable, but they don't have much to work with.
I guess if you ever wanted to see Woody Allen wear his hair in a ponytail, this is the movie you have been waiting for. But Scenes From A Mall is pretty much a dead zone. What a shame to waste Allen's, Midler's and Mazursky's talents this way.
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