Runaway Train (1985) * * *

 

Directed by:  Andrei Konchalovsky

Starring:  Jon Voight, Eric Roberts, Rebecaa DeMornay, TK Carter, John P. Ryan, Kenneth McMillan, Kyle T. Heffner

Runaway Train is a prison break story married with a story of a runaway train speeding through the Alaska frontier on a route to nowhere.  The train has three unlikely passengers, prison escapees Manny (Voight) and Buck (Roberts), who think the train will take them to freedom, and Sara (DeMornay), the unfortunate railroad worker caught on the train and eventually in the middle.  Manny and Buck have essentially traded one prison for another, while Sara is herself imprisoned by the situation and by Manny and Buck.  

When Runaway Train opens, Manny is a prisoner at an Alaskan prison where he had just served three years in dark solitary confinement due to a previous escape attempt.  Warden Ranken (Ryan) hates him and releases him to general population in hopes that he'll try to escape again or start a fight, which will give the warden any excuse to kill him.  Buck is a champion prison boxer who hero worships Manny and wants to come along when Manny escapes from prison again. 

Manny and Buck trek through the freezing wilderness and nearly freeze to death before hopping on the train in which the engineer dies of a heart attack during the journey.  The dispatch team tries in vain to derail or slow the train down, but there is little hope of stopping it.  Meanwhile, Ranken wants nothing more than the opportunity to kill Manny himself, even if it means flying a helicopter over the speeding locomotive.  To Ranken, his hatred for Manny is so personal that it overshadows even common sense or self-preservation.

Runaway Train is at its heart an adventure story with the wounded Manny and Buck at the forefront.  Voight and Roberts received Oscar nominations for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor, respectively, playing generally unlikable, unsympathetic people but still allowing us enough room to hope they can grow or at least be better people.  Manny is more realistic about his chances on the outside than Buck, who dreams of a more fanciful life that likely won't come to an ex-convict, assuming he's not caught or killed.  We see the anger in them and each other, as if hopelessness is part of their daily routine.  

The movie concludes more or less as expected and it only reaches a certain level of power, but it works on the level of adventure which breaks up the bleakness. 

The Rip (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Joe Carnahan

Starring:  Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Steven Yeun, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Teyana Taylor, Kyle Chandler, Scott Adkins, Sasha Calle, Lina Esco

The Rip is a quickly paced suspense thriller with enough tricks and twists up its sleeve to cover two movies.  It relies on the star power and chemistry of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as Miami cops faced with a $20 million haul in drug money stashed in a Hialeah, Florida suburban home.  When Damon's Dane Dumars receives a tip of the stash, he assembles his team including Sgt. JD Byrne (Affleck) to search the home belonging to Desi (Calle) and finds much more cash than they bargained for.  Desi claims ignorance, but we know she may be lying.  

But let's backtrack.  The Rip begins with the murder of Miami police captain Jackie Velez (Esco), who is speaking to an unknown person on her phone promising to get the person out.  Velez' team is interrogated, including Dane and JD, who was in a relationship with Jackie.  Tensions are already running high when Dane receives the anonymous tip about the money, but soon as the crew is counting the stash and each undergoes temptations to steal some of the dough, more harrowing developments occur (none of which I'll recap here).  One of the joys of The Rip is watching its suspenseful reveals unfold.  

The Rip concludes as you would expect with chases and gunfire.  That's to be expected of the genre.  Damon and Affleck naturally have an unforced repartee, and they completely immerse themselves in their characters, making seemingly stock characters into something more.  The movie itself teems with energy and we care about the outcome.  Questions pop up.  Who can be trusted?  The cops here wouldn't be human if they weren't at least tempted to pocket some of the cash.  One of two packs could put their kids through college.  Then, we need to find out who murdered Jackie and why.  Was it a cartel or was it cops?  I don't know how much I buy the cartel telling Dane and JD that they want no parts of the $20 million nor their explanation as to why they don't.

With those minor quibbles aside, The Rip is more absorbing than you'd expect from a crime thriller.  It's not just a mindless starring vehicle for Damon and Affleck to reunite on screen, it works because it creates suspense and even a sense of dread especially when you notice the cul-de-sac where the house is located is eerily vacant.  But I won't bring up any more surprises.  

I Love You, Man (2009) * * *

Directed by:  John Hamburg

Starring:  Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones, JK Simmons, Lou Ferrigno,  Jane Curtin, Andy Samberg, Jon Favreau, Jamie Pressly

Pater (Rudd) is going to be married to Zooey (Jones) and all is well with their relationship.  However, the wedding is approaching and Peter doesn't have a best man on tap, mostly because he doesn't have any male friends.  He is a gay brother (Samberg), who I would think would be a serviceable choice, but I Love You Man tells the story of Peter's quest for a friend.  Zooey has numerous friends.  Peter is being set up on lunches with potential male friends which take on a gay vibe in some instances.

Then Peter meets Sydney Fife (Segel) during Peter's open house trying to sell Lou Ferrigno's Beverly Hills mansion.  Sydney doesn't want to buy the house, he just came for the free food and drink and openly tells Peter so.  Peter admires Sydney's honesty and the two hit it off, especially when Peter learns Sydney is as big a Rush fan as he is.  Zooey at first is happy that Peter found a friend, but then Peter starts spending a lot more time with Sydney than Zooey would like, causing expected conflicts and perhaps threatening the upcoming wedding.

Peter is a generally nice guy who just isn't cool.  He's just awkward albeit in an innocent way.  (Watch him playing poker, where he wins much to the chagrin of the more experienced players at the table).  He and Sydney are two peas in a pod, and the more we get to know Sydney, we sense he's a lonely man himself who doesn't make friends as easily as you would expect.  Rudd and Segel have comic chemistry and yes the movie delves into corny territory on occasion, but we find ourselves caring about Peter and Sydney and hope these lonely guys can stay friends.  

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  Nia DaCosta

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Jack O'Connell, Alfie Williams, Erin Kellyman, Chi Louis-Parry

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple continues the stories of last summer's 28 Years Later with the focus on the two more interesting characters, the humane Dr. Ian Kelson (Fiennes) and the evil, twisted Jimmy Crystal (O'Connell) who cross paths although in a way which doesn't exactly compel the viewer.  The payoff isn't much to write home about, with occasional cameos by zombies who attack the living and wind up getting bludgeoned or if the zombie wins, detach the victim's head and spine from his body.

The zombies are more or less the video game portion of the movie.  However, Dr. Kelson's arc involves Samson (Louis-Parry) and his quest to use him as a guinea pig for his cure.  After injecting Samson, the two slowly gain trust in each other and Samson grows more human again.   Samson is still walking around naked with his Dirk-Diggler-esque manhood on full display.  The other story involves Crystal and his band of teenagers all of which are renamed Jimmy, one being Spike (Williams), the teen from the first film who was introduced to killing zombies by his father.  Spike, of course, witnesses truly horrific actions by Crystal and his group, and is soon traumatized and intimidated enough into joining Crystal's group.  

I admired the Fiennes and O'Connell performances and appreciated the irony that Jimmy Crystal saw Dr. Kelson as Satan, referring to him as "Old Nick" which the good doctor uses to his advantage at the movie's conclusion.  But The Bone Temple is now the fourth installment in this series and they aren't getting any more intriguing.  The movie and series are meant to be downers, which I can tolerate, but I've found them mostly boring.  Even the reintroduction of a major character from the first two films doesn't move the needle much. 

Primate (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  Johannes Roberts

Starring:  Troy Kotsur, Johnny Sequoyah, Gia Hunter

The prologue of Primate discusses the evolution of the term rabies and we know that the lovable chimpanzee in Primate named Ben will transform into a homicidal killer who stalks his victims in the dark.  Primate is a mostly unpleasant slasher film with gallons of blood spilled and a chimpanzee as the killer.

As Primate opens, we find college-age girls coming home to her family in which Ben is adopted by author Adam (Kotsur-the Oscar winner from CODA) who goes away on a book tour for a few days soon after Ben is bit by a rabid mongoose.  Adam hires a veterinarian to give Ben a rabies shot, but Ben thrashes him and goes on the prowl.  Lucy (Sequoyah) and her sister Erin (Hunter) try to calm the violent Ben down and hope to find signs of the old Ben in there, but that is soon revealed to be a fool's errand.  Ben is soon the primate Michael Myers with an insatiable bloodlust. 

The prime issue we have with Primate is that I felt sorry for Ben, who was turned so horrible due to circumstances he couldn't control.  I would've found it more dramatic and satisfying if there were still traces of the old Ben in there somewhere, and maybe a kill is met with ambivalence and even regret.  However, that is not the audience Primate was made for, but I think the filmmakers would be surprised if their audience looked for some more depth too. 

Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) * * * 1/2

Directed by: Blake Edwards

Starring:  Peter Sellers, Dyan Cannon, Robert Loggia, Robert Webber, Burt Kwouk, Tony Beckley, Herbert Lom

I'm flabbergasted that I neglected to review Revenge of the Pink Panther, which is the funniest of the Pink Panther series and the last one made in Peter Sellers' lifetime.  Sellers returns as the bumbling, inept, but accidentally successful Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau, who this time is causing a disruption in the French connection drug organization led by Douvier (Webber), who I believe is supposed to be French but is played by American Robert Webber with an American accent.  No matter, it's better and less distracting that way.  Sellers is the only one with a ridiculous French accent and that's how it's supposed to be.

Douvier wants Clouseau out of the way and for a time, it appears to the world he was successful, but Clouseau finds a way to keep on keeping on with his unbelievably good fortune.  His manservant Cato (Kwouk) turns Clouseau's apartment into a brothel not even 24 hours after Clouseau's reported passing, but once Clouseau returns, he and Cato team with Douvier's jilted mistress Simone (Cannon) to bring down the French connection.  How?  Not that the plot necessarily matters, but Clouseau poses as a New York mobster during a meeting with Douvier in Hong Kong wearing the most ridiculous and hilarious mobster disguise you've ever seen.  Clouseau wears disguises that draw attention to him rather than allow him to pass through peacefully, but Clouseau believes nonetheless in their brilliance. 

What makes Clouseau such a rich comic character is his unshakable belief in his own competence.  He is right twice a day like your average broken clock, but others like his former boss Dreyfuss (Lom) who hated him enough to utilize a doomsday device in The Pink Panther Strikes Again in order to eliminate Clouseau.  Clouseau and the rest of the world must have amnesia, because the people in this movie forget the events of the last one (where the device actually made Dreyfuss disappear) and has Dreyfuss reinstated upon Clouseau's death and has him deliver the eulogy (which causes Dreyfuss to break out in unintentional laughter). 

The Pink Panther series wasn't meant to be a bastion of realism anyway.  From its inception in 1963, the series has improved with each film and Revenge of the Pink Panther represents the hilarity zenith of the franchise.  Trail of the Pink Panther and Curse of the Pink Panther don't count by the way. 

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera (2025) * *

 

Directed by:  Christian Gudegast

Starring:  Gerard Butler, O'Shea Jackson Jr.

The original Den of Thieves (2018) was a crime thriller with several twists and a dynamic character in Nick O'Brien (Butler), the cheerfully corrupt cop on the trail of bank robbers looking to rob the Federal Reserve in Los Angeles.  Nick wants to bust the thieves and counts on informant Donnie Wilson (Jackson Jr) to assist him.  It turns out after a Heat-like shootout that Donnie was the mastermind behind the crime and escapes scot-free to England where he's planning his next heist.

As Den of Thieves 2 opens, Big Nick is still salty about Donnie getting the best of him and tracks him down following footage of a heist somewhere in Europe.  Nick doesn't want to bust Donnie, though, but instead wants him to take him along on his next job so Nick can rake in enough of the fortune to retire on.  Donnie is awfully trusting.  A cop he burned years ago in LA finds him and wants to join him in thievery, and Donnie doesn't suspect a plot is afoot?  Donnie doesn't strike me as someone so willfully blind to Nick's intentions, especially since he's good at accents and pretending to be a French businessman to infiltrate the Diamond Center which is where he and Pantera (a group of criminals) will be targeting.

I won't go into specifics, except to say that the heist itself is Donnie and Nick climbing up and down ropes and scuttling around in the darkness to break into safety deposit boxes.  It's the 2020's.  Haven't they heard of cyber theft?  It's a lot easier, so I'm told.  You can just sit at a computer and steal untold fortunes.  If this doesn't happen, then why do we hear so often about data breaches from major corporations who have no idea how their firewalls were breached.  

Den of Thieves 2 is a bloated two hours, twenty five minutes, similar to the first one, but the majority of the movie is killing time until we wait for the twist which isn't really a big one as far as Big Reveals go.