Death on the Nile (1978) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  John Guillermin

Starring: Peter Ustinov, David Niven, Jane Birkin, Mia Farrow, Bette Davis, Simon MacCorkindale, Maggie Smith, George Kennedy, Lois Chiles, Jack Warden, Olivia Hussey, Angela Lansbury

Death on the Nile, based on the Agatha Christie novel, is the first featuring Peter Ustinov as the Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot.  People mistakenly assume he's French, and he's quick to correct them.  Nothing escapes him, although the murderers try their best to fool him.  He won't be swayed or distracted.  Once he's on the case, the killers ought to just confess and save everyone time.   But what fun would that be?  One of the most fun aspects of Death on the Nile, or any Agatha Christie film adaptation, is the detective gathering the suspects all in the same room and toying with each person's guilt or innocence.  Everyone is a suspect because everyone has a reason to want to kill the victim.  It's their poor fortune to be on the same boat as Hercule Poirot.   Just ask the folks on the Orient Express. 

I'll tread lightly.  The victim is Linett Doyle (Chiles), an heiress married to Simon Doyle (MacCorkindale), who dumped his lover Jacqueline (Farrow) prior and now she's obsessively stalking the couple.  Linett is found shot to death with a "J" written in blood on the wall next to her.  This was moments after Simon was accidentally shot in the leg by Jacqueline in a jealous rage in the dining room.  Simon was incapacitated and Jacqueline was escorted back to her room with witnesses present, so they're not involved.  Or are they?  Each suspect has motive and the movie speculates who could've done what and how.  

I won't go through the list of suspects except to say they are played by some of the legends of show business from a bygone era.  They exhibit class, style, and relish the material.  At least the actors do, even if the characters don't.  In the middle of it all is Ustinov's unflappability which keeps everything centered.  

How to Make a Killing (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  John Patton Ford

Starring:  Glen Powell, Margaret Qualley, Bill Camp, Zach Woods, Topher Grace, Ed Harris, Nell Williams, Jessica Henwick 

How to Make a Killing has the potential to lure us in and make us co-conspirators as Becket Redfellow (Powell) begins his quest to knock off the seven family members in line for his grandfather's inheritance in order to claim it for himself.  But it never takes off.  It plods when it should crackle.  We should care enough to hope he either gets away with it or gets caught, but in this case, it's neither.  Why is this?  Because the characters Becket needs to bump off aren't established enough for us to root for their demise and Becket's plight isn't exactly one we can sympathize with.   

Becket's mother got pregnant as a teenager and is subsequently cast out of her family by her father Whitelaw (oh, these names) (Harris) after refusing to have an abortion.  Mom creates a life in North Jersey where she grooms her son to be a future inheritor of the family fortune.  She dresses him in suits, teaches him how to speak like the manner-born, and eventually passes away from cancer while Becket is a teenager.  Becket's dad dropped dead from an embolism while witnessing his birth, in case you were wondering.

After working as a tailor for a while, Becket decides to go after the fortune when his childhood crush Julia (Qualley) spurns him because she's marrying some rich prick.  Julia acts like a femme fatale dropped in from a nearby thriller.  She catches on early that Becket is up to no good and acts accordingly.  The FBI also catches on since those who are dying are directly blocking Becket's succession to the inheritance.  Becket has occasional pangs of conscience and also forms a relationship with Ruth (Henwick), the former girlfriend of one of the cousins Becket kills.  

Becket tells the story to a priest while on death row awaiting execution.  How Becket manages to avoid this is unconvincing and screams of an attempt to give this story a happier ending.  Powell doesn't exhibit much charisma here, and we aren't much moved by his mission.  He isn't sympathetic or even unsympathetic.  He's just there.  So is the movie and that's deadly to the whole enterprise.  

Scream 7 (2026) * *

Directed by: Kevin Williamson

Starring: Neve Campbell, Joel McHale, Courteney Cox, Ethan Embry, Matthew Lillard, Isabel May, Mason Gooding, Sam Rechner, Anna CampCamp

Ghostface is back.  One day, I won't have to write those words, but as long as Scream movies continue to make money, there will be more Screams to be made.  Scream 7 feels by-the-numbers and uninspired.  There is always the whodunit aspect which keeps just enough interest to prevent the viewer from falling asleep, but the Scream movies have become a series of grisly killings which try to top the others in their blood and viciousness.  When you see someone's guts spilled out all over the place after a brutal kill, you realize Scream has lost its sense of fun.

Sidney Prescott (Campbell) returns to the franchise for the first time since Scream 4.  She lives with her police chief husband (McHale) and daughter Tatum (May) in a small town in an unnamed state and owns the local coffee shop.  Soon, after a loooong opening scene in which the Ghostface killer emerges, Sidney is contacted by someone proclaiming to be Stu (Lillard-who was killed in the first movie) and even calls her on FaceTime.  Is Stu really alive?  Or is this AI run amok?  And why do the people in these movies answer all calls from Unknown or Restricted callers?  If no one answered these calls, then the movies would screech to a halt.  

Now, one or more Ghostface killers are stalking and killing Sidney's loved ones and Tatum's friends.  Poor Sidney likely has enough PTSD to last three lifetimes and now has to go through it again.  No wonder she took two movies off.  Who could blame her?  And once the killer (or killers) is revealed, we realize that anyone who has more than 1-2 lines in the movie should be considered a suspect.  The explanation is ludicrous, as you would expect from someone who was only given a couple lines earlier in the film.  The Scream series has run out of gas and was only running on a half-tank to begin with. 

Miracle: The Boys of '80 (2026) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Jacob Rogal, Max Gershberg

It's impossible to reference the 1980 USA Men's Olympic Hockey team and not refer to the words "miracle" or "miraculous".  Those words will follow these players around for all time.  There are other movies about the team like Miracle (2004), Miracle on Ice (1981), and now Miracle: The Boys of '80 which focuses on the players, their stories, and their complicated relationship with their late head coach Herb Brooks.  The documentary reflects a time and place where the Olympics could be held in a quaint little town like Lake Placid, NY, where the opening ceremonies look like they were held on a local football field.  

February 1980 was the height of the Cold War between the USA and USSR, but the Soviet hockey team was head and shoulders above all of its competition.  They had won each four gold medals in a row and 1980's tournament was supposed to be merely a formality as they claim their fifth straight.  The American team was made of players in their late teens or early 20's, but the Soviets were veterans (some in their late 20's or early 30's) who were ostensibly professional players who skirted the then-Olympic amateur-only status by through "Red Army employment".  

Days before the Games, the USSR trounced the US in an exhibition at Madison Square Garden 10-3.  Their hopes of even competing for a medal, much less beating the unbeatable Soviets.  The USA managed a tie in the final minute of play in their first game vs. Sweden.  Had they lost that game, there would be no Miracle on Ice to document and sports history would've been drastically changed.  The economic and political climate in 1980 called for something to hope for and the US team provided that as they then tallied some unlikely wins.  Then, they drew the Soviets in the medal round and the rest is history.

The Boys of '80 is moving because of how it sees the players, their stories, and their lives.  Each played hard for Brooks, but they regret that they never got close to him.  Brooks wanted it that way, and the players' ambivalence towards him resonates to this day.  The players all sit in the arena where they upset the Soviets and ultimately claimed gold two days later, and we have to pinch ourselves that these men who captivated a nation were now older and histories of their own.  Many gave thanks to their supportive parents and still get emotional when discussing how they won the gold medal in their honor.  Each game is analyzed and the players themselves discuss what went through their minds especially in the final period of the win vs. the Soviets.  It was the longest ten minutes of their lives as they clung to a 4-3 lead.  

Then after the win, the team partied and basked in the glory, but Brooks, being who he was, said in harsher words that if they don't win the gold, all of this was for naught.  The win was so huge that people still forget that the win vs. the Soviets was only a semifinal game.  The Soviets likely came in overconfident after thrashing everyone in their path.  When the U.S. tied the game late in the first period, the Soviet coach responded by benching their world-class goaltender.  When the team trailed late, the coach didn't even pull the goalie to gain an extra attacker on the ice.  They were not used to being behind late in a game.  The players and Brooks were stunned, but they sure were not going to tell the Soviets.  

Miracle captures the essence of the Olympics in 1980 and how the win wasn't simply an upset, but a defining Olympic moment.  The players walk around Lake Placid today and many thank them.  Is this staged?  Possibly, but the sentiments are real.  This week, the gold medal winning Men's Hockey Team faced criticism for visiting the White House and the State of the Union address.  Years ago, such backlash wouldn't have existed.  America was proud of its champions.  They still are. 

day, only 

The Princess Bride (1987) * * *

 

Directed by:  Rob Reiner

Starring: Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Andre the Giant, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage  

The Princess Bride was Rob Reiner's third feature film, and he showed he could handle tricky material.  He was not a director who simply made films in one genre, although his first three films before Misery (1990) were comedies.  He had a deft touch, and The Princess Bride displayed that.  It's an amusing movie which overloads with the cuteness often, but the cast is having a great time and Reiner clearly loves the material. 

Based on William Goldman's book, The Princess Bride begins with a grandfather (Falk) reading a story to his sick grandson (Savage) about a lowly farmhand named Westley (Elwes) who falls in love with Buttercup (Wright) but is soon kidnapped into piracy and feared dead.  Buttercup is then forced into an arranged marriage to Prince Humperdinck (Sarandon), who is itching to go to war with a neighboring nation and plans to murder Buttercup on his wedding night and blame it on his enemies.  This is heavy stuff for a grandpop to read to his grandson, but the kid grows interested after at first dismissing the story out of hand because of all the kissing.  

Westley soon returns to rescue Buttercup and encounters a vengeful Prince Humperdinck, Spanish swordsman (Patinkin) Inigo Montoya, who is seeking vengeance on the man who killed his father, a giant named Fezzik (Andre the Giant, who else?), and a devious genius (Shawn) who may outsmart himself at the worst possible time.  Then there's the six-fingered henchman (Guest) who carries out the prince's orders with glee.  These are colorful characters who try to show off too much color sometimes, but the actors are having a ball with this material.  Reiner expressed how much he loved the book and was stonewalled trying to adapt it into a movie because it doesn't follow traditional medieval story arcs.  The Princess Bride is anything but typical, and in most cases, that's a delightful attribute.     

Psycho Killer (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Gavin Polone

Starring:  Georgina Campbell, James Preston Rogers, Malcolm McDowell, Logan Miller, Grace Dove

The reviews are in!  Psycho Killer is reported to have a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score, meaning every critic who has reviewed it detested it.  I don't know.  Written by Seven and 8MM screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker, Psycho Killer is a creepily effective thriller that sticks with you.  The Satanic Slasher (Rogers) is pure evil, and we root for his demise as Kansas State police officer Jane Archer (Campbell), whose trooper husband was killed by the slasher during a traffic stop, hunts him down.  The FBI is involved, sort of, but tries to warn Jane off the case.  We sense it may not just be jurisdictional. 

Jane, who is also pregnant, will not be deterred as she attempts to track and kill the slasher.  Who is he?  We hear his voice, which is very low-pitched and eerie, but we never see his face.  He wears an old-fashioned gas mask when committing his heinous crimes.  He calls himself Richard Reeves, a mass murderer who killed numerous churchgoers and attempted to blow up the church decades ago and was reported to have been killed in prison.  Is he imitating Reeves?  Idolizing him?  Paying tribute to him?  We don't know the full extent of Reeves' plan but it's awfully diabolical, as you would expect.  

Reeves is a pitiless hulk who consumes painkillers and psychotropic meds as he continues his spree.  He worships Satan and encounters like-minded Satan worshippers led by Malcolm McDowell, who uses his love of Satan to throw orgies, which offends Reeves and you know what happens when Reeves is offended.   Walker specializes in writing movies showing the dark, twisted underbelly of society.  Seven and 8MM were terrific movies partially because of the atmosphere they evoked.  Psycho Killer's atmosphere is decidedly dark and creepy, as you would expect in a movie where the Satanic Slasher is hacking victims from coast-to-coast.  I can't imagine what the critics saw.  Sure, the story is grotesquely gory in spots, but it's compelling and its effects linger.  

 

Cold Storage (2026) * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Jonny Campbell

Starring:  Joe Keery, Georgina Campbell, Liam Neeson, Lesley Manville, Sosie Bacon, Vanessa Redgrave

Cold Storage is a version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with the snatcher being a nasty green fungus which can penetrate just about anything to attach itself to its host.  As Cold Storage opens, a scientist (Bacon) and two military operatives (Neeson and Manville) travel to Australia to find this mysterious fungus which has killed numerous people and animals.  The fungus manages to invade the hazmat suit of the doctor and soon it takes over her body, causing her to explode.  The operatives escape with the sample of the fungus, which is kept in a government lab in the middle of nowhere.

The lab is abandoned sometime later, with the fungus still stored in a vault long forgotten and a storage facility built on top of it.  One night, two employees Travis (Keery) and Naomi (Campbell) encounter strange happenings, such as a deer entering the facility, attacking them, and soon exploding.  Naomi's boyfriend also shows up to confront her about Naomi dumping him and he soon begins acting weird.  Travis and Naomi's boss also comes by with his biker friends and you know the drill by now.

Neeson also reappears after being called into duty to destroy the goo and keep it contained.  Neeson has fun with the role with the other actors understanding that Cold Storage isn't meant to be taken too seriously.  The movie itself is occasionally amusing, with lots of green goo everywhere and all of the villains getting their comeuppance, but it doesn't reach past a certain level of inspiration.  It's ninety minutes that come and go, sometimes slowly, but for those who love this type of movie, you'll get what you came for.