Monday, November 23, 2015

Spectre (2015) * 1/2

Spectre Movie Review

Directed by:  Sam Mendes

Starring:  Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw, Ralph Fiennes, Lea Seydoux, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott

After twenty-four James Bond films, the franchise has run out of gas.    There doesn't seem to be anything more that can be done to revive it.   We have a new Bond, a new Q, a new M, and a new Moneypenny, but Spectre is stale and lifeless.    It has become what Austin Powers parodied nearly twenty years ago, minus the laughs.    Austin Powers knew Bond movies were silly, but understood they could still be fun anyway.    Spectre is humorless Bond.    Gone is the Bond who threw out one-liners and double entendres.    We have Daniel Craig once again playing a Bond who people forgot to tell him was supposed to be a cheerfully absurd hero.    Craig looks the part physically and we can believe that he could best a monster like Dave Bautista in a fistfight.    However, he is so stoic and inexpressive we begin to wonder if anyone is actually at home.   

Spectre also brings the evil organization SPECTRE into full bloom after three previous movies' worth of teasing their existence.    SPECTRE exists to fail.    They spend bottomless amounts of money and resources on killing James Bond only to come up empty time and again.     Why haven't they learned to cut their losses and let someone get their ass kicked by Bond?    SPECTRE is re-imagined also, like Bond, Q, and M, but the results are still the same.    They are led by a shadowy figure named Franz Oberhauser (Waltz), who was believed to be dead already and shares something of a past with Bond.    Their relationship is hinted at, but never explored.    No, I'm not talking about a homosexual liaison or anything like that.     Bond's past with Franz is much more mundane.   

Waltz can play a villain with the best of them, but in Spectre he is limited to making the same mistakes the other ubervillains who took on Bond made.    He has numerous chances to simply shoot Bond and he would be free to pillage and plunder the world without resistance, but he chooses to show Bond his secret fortress and explain his plan for world domination.     This plan, which I think includes unlimited surveillance involving nine nations, is underwhelming to say the least.     This stuff is child's play to any world intelligence organization worth its salt.     Why not make Franz' relationship with Bond more complex or vice versa?    Why not introduce an element of internal conflict over having to kill a childhood friend?     Bond nor Franz thinks anything of this.    Neither did the screenwriters.

Bond movies will continue to be made.    Daniel Craig will soon step aside and another actor will be brought in to interpret the role.     I do not know what is left to explore.    There was once a time in which car chases, foot chases, fistfights, explosions, and gunplay were presented in sly fun in this franchise.    Ever since Dr. No introduced James Bond to the world in 1962, other films and franchises have imitated, bettered, or even parodied him.    What was once fresh and original is now a trite retread.     There isn't anything left to liven things up.    When Franz was walking Bond through his lair, I couldn't help but think of how Dr. Evil did it with more style plus the fun that is now nonexistent in Bond films.  



 





Oh, God! (1977) * * * 1/2

Still of John Denver and George Burns in Oh, God! (1977)


Directed by:  Carl Reiner

Starring:  George Burns, John Denver, Teri Garr, Paul Sorvino, Donald Pleasence

Oh, God! tells a believable, funny, practical story of the Almighty appearing in human form to a California grocery store manager.    There is nothing special about the man, named Jerry Landers (Denver).    He is an ordinary, hard-working family man.    Why did God choose to appear to Jerry and ask him to spread the word about Him?    "You're like the lady who is the millionth person to cross the bridge and who gets to meet the governor.   You're better than some, not as good as others, but you came across at just the right time." God reasons to Jerry.    The entire movie is as practical as that.   

Oh God! is not irreverent or in poor taste.    It does not take potshots at religion, although God does not care for a bombastic televangelist named Willie Williams (Sorvino), whom God wishes would just shut his mouth.   What?   Almighty God wants someone to shut up?   And admits that he made mistakes?   "I made the avocado seeds too big."   Blasphemy!!  Actually not.   Oh, God! has fun with its story.    God appears as Jerry as an elderly, kindly man with glasses because, "I took this form because if I appeared to you as I really am, you wouldn't be able to comprehend me."    Jerry indeed has questions, as everybody would, but God is able to answer in convincing, relatable ways.    God doesn't like how people use the word bananas either.   ("I create a wonderful fruit and people use it for crazy.")

Naturally, Jerry's story is questioned by theologians and doctors alike.    He finds himself the subject of media scrutiny, for good reason, but he remains steadfast in his conviction.    Jerry doesn't raise his voice or become fanatical.    He is a man who is convinced he has met God and becomes willing to spread the word about him to a world that may have forgotten his true message.     His ever-patient wife Bobbi (Garr) is loyal, but objects to having reporters staked outside on her front lawn. 

As I did with Religulous, I avoid bringing up religious beliefs as a rule when reviewing any film in which God, religion, or views on such are brought up.    They are not relevant to the discussion.    I discuss the film and whether it worked on its intended level.    Oh, God! works near perfectly as a comedy with a mind.   It provokes discussion without provoking religious fervor.    And how can you not enjoy Burns and Denver playing kindly, warm, smart characters?    Even if one of them is playing God?  

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

A Christmas Story (1983) * * * *

A Christmas Story Movie Review

Directed by:  Bob Clark

Starring:  Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Scott Schwartz

A Christmas Story is about as perfect a Christmas movie as there is.   I usually don't review movies with such hyperbole, but A Christmas Story captures the spirit, joy, and nostalgia of Christmas better than any movie I've seen.   It invokes nostalgia for a seemingly simpler time and understands fully what Christmas means for children and adults.   

The film takes place in 1940ish Indiana.    The streets, houses, and lawns are perpetually snow covered.    It opens with a  parade and ends on Christmas night with the snow falling and Silent Night playing on the radio.    There is not a moment in the film in which the ground is covered in anything but white.    The kids are bundled up for their walk to school.    An overprotective mother wraps up her youngest son in clothes so tight, "he looked like a tick that was ready to pop."    If he falls over, he can't get up without help.  

The boy is the younger brother of Ralphie (Billingsley), whose dream is to receive a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.    A Christmas Story is about Ralphie's quest to fulfill that dream.    When you're 10 years old, getting the right toy for Christmas is the most important thing in life.     The adults in Ralphie's life, from his mother to his grade school teacher, do not think the gun is a wise gift choice.  "You'll shoot your eye out."    Preposterous!   Such a thing couldn't possibly happen.    Back then, and even when I was growing up in the 70's and 80's, a toy's potential dangers were not even considered.    Nowadays, just opening a toy is like breaking into Fort Knox.    There are warning labels all over the packaging.    One feels like he is opening up a nuclear bomb than a toy.

Dangers be damned is Ralphie's attitude.   He strategizes and schemes in his tireless attempts to gain approval to get the gun.    On Christmas Eve, his eureka moment comes.   ("Santa Claus, the big cheese, the connection.   My mom and dad really slipped up this time.")    Ralphie has no idea that Santa is a disgruntled department store employee who doesn't want to work a minute past 9:00pm.   He sees nothing odd about Santa and his staff rushing the kids and then depositing them down the slide after telling Santa what they want for Christmas.  

The film is narrated by Jean Shepherd, who wrote the short story on which the film is based and tells his tale warmly, lovingly, and with attention to human nature.    The characters, with the exception of the school bully Scut Farcas (Zack Ward) are warm and lovable.    Scut is one of the obstacles Ralphie must elude daily on his way to school.    Scut and his toadie (there's a word you don't hear anymore) terrorize kids at random because, well, that's what they do.    When there are no more kids around to beat up on, they start punching each other in the arm.    The bullies are youngsters themselves, but are never seen attending school or living in a house.    In Ralphie's mind, they exist only to torment others and then disappear into the void.    This isn't crazy talk.    I used to believe teachers actually lived at school when I was a kid.

A Christmas Story is full of observations described colorfully by Shepherd, who takes on the role of an older Ralphie who is telling this story from memory.    Ralphie's father, known only as The Old Man (McGavin), is a kind, patient man who is forever at war with his furnace, his car that freezes up, and the neighbor's dogs who make his beloved turkey dinner a memory.   "That car could freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator."    He also receives a lamp as a sweepstakes award that is probably the most improper and grotesque lamp ever made.    I won't divulge what it is, but it raises the ire of Ralphie's mom (Dillon) to the point that she may or not have destroyed it while dusting the living room.

Ralphie's mom, who also is unnamed, is a woman forever trying to sit down with her family to eat a hot meal and get Randy's brother to actually eat what she cooks.    She always has something in the pot cooking while her husband goes to work at a job that is never revealed.    The parents are seen through Ralphie's 10-year old eyes, which means they are simply Mom and Dad without any complexities.    They simply exist as matters of fact and it is taken for granted that they will always be there.   To Ralphie, the worst part of his father's day is battling the furnace that's on the blink with unrepeatable curse words.    "My father wove a tapestry of obscenities that still hovers over Lake Michigan to this very day."  

I could name endless examples of the warm feelings A Christmas Story generates in scene after scene.    I could almost wind up retelling the entire movie, but it is best to leave the audience with a sense of wonder and surprise.    Does Ralphie receive the gun for Christmas at long last?    And what is with the pink bunny suit he is forced to wear (as seen in the picture)?    I will leave for you to discover or rediscover that.    This may be the only Christmas movie in which the wait staff at a Chinese restaurant sings Christmas carols while consistently mispronouncing the L's. 

A Christmas Story turns this into a treasured gem.   There are many other things to treasure about it.    Mostly the fact that the Christmas season feels differently than any other point in the year.   It is impossible to recreated until the time of year shows up on the calendar again.













Monday, November 9, 2015

Seems Like Old Times (1980) * * *



Directed by:  Jay Sandrich

Starring:  Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Charles Grodin, Robert Guillaume, George Grizzard, T.K. Carter, Harold Gould

Neil Simon's Seems Like Old Times (he wrote the film) plays like madcap romantic bedroom farce with a heart.    All of the people in it, with the exception of the bank robbers, are relatively nice and keep it together under the oddest of circumstances.    They do this by hurling one-liners at each other at a frenetic pace.   Thankfully, they don't pause long enough to understand what a silly movie they're in.  Neither do we.   Sometimes you simply need to go along for the ride.

The film opens with writer Nick Gardenia (Chase) kidnapped by two nasty bank robbers and forced to hold up a teller with a note.   The bank camera snaps a perfect shot of Nick as he exits with the money and he is now a fugitive wanted for bank robbery.   The robbers shove him out of a moving car and he rolls down the side of a hill, injuring his leg in the process.   Nick goes to the only person he feels can help him:  his attorney ex-wife Glenda (Hawn).   

Glenda is remarried to Ira (Grodin), a district attorney who is tapped to become the next California Attorney General.    Glenda reluctantly agrees to hide Nick in a room above the garage without Ira's knowledge because such a thing could be disastrous for Ira's career.    Glenda narrowly avoids Nick being discovered by Ira on several occasions, including a spontaneous visit to the room. 

Seems Like Old Times doesn't take its plot seriously.    It is just an excuse for near misses and some funny, witty banter between Chase and Hawn and Hawn and Grodin.    There are other subplots, including Glenda keeping her clients out of jail by employing all of them and a gaggle of dogs (including a humongous St. Bernard) that seem to all sleep together on the bed at the same time.   There is also Ira's dinner with the governor that does not necessarily go as expected.    You have to love George Grizzard's calm as the insanity unfolds:  "I keep my composure.   That's why I'm the governor".  

The movie was made to make us laugh.   It does so with the actors delivering their one-liners with aplomb and deadpan delivery.    Is it silly?   Yes.   Does it threaten at times to become a mite too cute?   Yes.    But the actors are clearly enjoying themselves and so do we.  



Quantum of Solace (2008) * *

Quantum of Solace Movie Review

Directed by:  Marc Forster

Starring:  Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Almaric, Jeffrey Wright

After a successful return to the Bond series with Casino Royale, Daniel Craig and company return with among the most lethargic films of the series.    Quantum of Solace (what exactly does that title mean?) has the car chases, gunplay, and exotic locales, but it is going through the motions.    Worse yet, there are no poker tournaments.

James Bond is dispatched to deal with a billionaire entrepreneur named Dominic Greene (Almaric), who wants to control the water supply of Bolivia.    After years of missions in which Bond is called upon to avert nuclear disaster, World War III, or the creation of an evil master race; saving Bolivia's water supply seems like a step down.    This sounds like something Bond can do in his sleep.    Maybe M should have assigned a less experienced agent and give Bond the time off.  

Quantum of Solace is well-made from a technical standpoint, as all Bond films are.    There is certain level of competence which Bond films simply do not fall below.    They may become boring, outdated, and overlong, but they will always look good.    There is also a Bond girl named Camille (Kurylenko), who is attractive but doesn't even sleep with Bond.    Getting laid is not a priority for this James Bond. 

Craig showcased his acting chops in Casino Royale.    Who can forget his response to the bartender who asks him, "How would you like your martini?"    Bond replies, "Do I look like I give a damn?" 
However, this type of Bond shows its limitations in this film.    He does not say a lot and shows emotion even less.    I am not expecting Craig to emote like Laurence Olivier, but how about playing Bond with at least a little personality?    It is ok to have some fun with a role in which ridiculous things are playing out around him.

Is the malaise that surrounds Quantum of Solace a reflection of Craig or a reflection of the rest of the film?    The energy level simply is not there.    We have seen enough car chases and shootouts in not just Bond films, but many others.    So much so that I don't care to see another one.    The stakes have to be high to justify the use of another chase.    They are no longer inherently exciting.

Because Bond films make beaucoup bucks at the box office, we will never finish seeing them.    There will always be more gadgets, evil villains, and James Bond adventures.   With every attempt to enliven and refresh the series, the more it simply seems the same.    A return to the poker table may not have been enough to save Quantum of Solace. 

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Under The Cherry Moon (1986) * 1/2

Directed by:  Prince

Starring: Prince, Jerome Benton, Kristin Scott-Thomas, Steven Berkoff, Francesca Annis

Under The Cherry Moon is a vanity project run amok.    It should have been stopped at the development stage.    I do not know whose idea it was to have Prince make his directorial debut with a black and white film in which he plays a French Riviera gigolo, but someone should have had the sense to say no.   Prince was so big at the time that he probably did not hear no that often.    The movie proves two things:  Prince is a much better singer than actor, and he is a better actor than he is a director.   

Prince spends a lot of time pursing his lips and ogling women in a way that would have them seconds away from calling 911.    When we see Christopher (Prince) making eye contact with Mary (Scott-Thomas), the trust fund baby who is the target of his scheme to enrich himself, we experience serial killer vibes.    As Under The Cherry Moon opens, Christopher is a club pianist and part-time gigolo.    Or is he a full-time gigolo and a part-time pianist?    Either way, he makes good money romancing rich, older, lonely women, but not enough to move out of his shitty apartment he shares with his friend Tricky (Benton).    What exactly is the relationship between Tricky and Christopher?   Tricky sits by the tub while Christopher takes a bubble bath and well, the vibes suggest that surely they're gay, right? 

Benton was also in Prince's Purple Rain (1984) playing the guy who followed Morris Day around with a mirror.    There is no mirror this time around, but he is essentially playing the worshipful follower once again.    He is forever bending Christopher's ear about landing the big score so they could move back to Miami.    I think it is briefly explained that they owe people money in Miami.   
Christopher, nonetheless, saunters around the Riviera wearing clothes that would shame Liberace.  

The look of the film suggests a throwback to 1930's and 40's B-movies in which everyone smoked and drank a lot in exotic places.    The exterior shots (and parts of the film) are edited so clumsily and hastily that a homemade YouTube video using the same footage would be superior in quality.    I do not know who assumed that moviegoers were clamoring for a revisit to these old movies, but that person was mistaken.    However, even though the cars are older model cars and the people behave like they were attending extravagant parties thrown in the 1950's, there are answering machines and modern day conveniences as well.    This may explain the use of black and white photography, but doesn't excuse it.

Prince was more in his element as a rocker in Purple Rain.    The film was basically one long music video, but there were some good songs.    The soundtrack to Under The Cherry Moon is music performed by Prince, but other than the ubiquitous Kiss, the songs are forgettable.    There is even a point in which the movie stops dead so Prince, er Christopher, can belt out a Prince tune which sounds anachronistic for a movie that looks and acts like it is set in the 50's.   

As played by Prince, Christopher is such a narcissistic, silly twerp that we can't buy him as a gigolo or even a reforming gigolo who falls for Mary.   Christopher even dons sunglasses in the dead of night while stealing Mary away from a flight which would reunite her with her unseen fiancé.    This suggests that even in a scene where he is pouring his heart to his love, he is too cool for the room.   Benton provides some comic relief as the perpetual sidekick who may be half in love with Christopher.    The other actors, including Steven Berkoff as Mary's dickhead father who wants to keep she and Christopher apart, and Francesca Annis as one of Christopher's clients who is also sleeping with Berkoff, are veterans who do their best to work with the material they have.  

Did I mention that Prince takes this story that is as old as the hills so seriously?   He thinks no one has seen a romantic movie before in which a gigolo/moneygrubber reforms his ways and expresses his true love for one woman.    Such material can be made fresh with style and energy, but Under The Cherry Moon lacks both.    A fatal error is casting Prince in the lead, because he comes off as an aloof creep with whom we can't sympathize. 

I pity actors like Scott-Thomas, Berkoff, and Annis, who toiled away for years in theater and drama classes only to play second fiddle to Jerome Benton and Prince.    Acting is such an unforgiving, cold profession.  











Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Fargo (1996) * * * *

Fargo Movie Review

Directed by:  Joel Coen

Starring:  Frances McDormand, William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare, Kristin Rudrud, Harve Presnell, John Carroll Lynch

Marge Gunderson is among the unique characters in the movies.   She is a skilled police officer whom people may underestimate because she is cheerful and uses phrases like "You betcha."   She has yet to be worn down by the daily grind of being the chief of Brainerd, Minnesota's police department.     Frances McDormand creates a special, three-dimensional person and rightfully earned her Best Actress Oscar for the role. 

Marge doesn't appear until about roughly thirty minutes in.    She is woken up in the middle of the night to investigate a grisly murder scene involving three murdered people (including one highway trooper) and a flipped over car.   She intuitively recreates the scene to her deputy Lou pretty much as it happened.    She is also many months pregnant and suffers bouts of morning sickness in between eating big meals at buffets.   

But I'll backtrack a little to what drew Marge into this mess.    Fargo opens with an auto salesman named Jerry (Macy), who works at his father-in-law's dealership.    He wants to get out from under the thumb of his stubborn boss and open a group of parking lots in the Minneapolis area.    How will he do that?   By hiring two thugs from Fargo, ND to kidnap his wife and ask for ransom.    Jerry instructs the thugs named Carl and Gaer (Buscemi and Stormare) to ask for $80,000.    Jerry has other ideas.    He tells his father-in-law Wade (Presnell), whom he is sure will pay the ransom, that the kidnappers want $1 million.    He'll pay the ransom on his father-in-law's behalf, pay the thugs $80,000 and walk away with the rest.    He will even steal a car from the dealership lot for the kidnappers to use.   This goes nowhere nearly as planned.

The murders in Brainerd are just one example of how poorly everything goes with the plan.    With Jerry's wife in the trunk, the guys are pulled over for a routine late-night traffic stop.    Carl offers a bribe, which raises further suspicions with the trooper and forcing Gaer to shoot the cop in the head.    The other victim was a passerby in a vehicle whose vehicle veers off the road, flips over, and the driver and passenger are shot dead by a pursuing Gaer.    "Oh daddy," Carl says as he sees the carnage unfold.    He wasn't expecting this level of difficulty with what appeared to be a routine crime.

Things only get worse for Jerry, Carl, and Gaer.    The worst thing possible for them is having Marge on the case.    Because she is an intelligent, experienced, determined cop, she is able to find herself at Jerry's doorstep quickly.    The would-be criminals do not make it hard for her.    They leave clues everywhere, starting with the ticket book of the slain trooper, who began writing the plate number before he was shot.    Marge's deputy claims he could find no match to the plate which begins with "DLR".    Marge delicately replies, "I don't think I agree with you 100% on your police work there Lou."   Lou feels stupid, but Marge soon tells him a joke about a man who wanted personalized license plates and changed his name to numbers and letters.    This is a nice touch, establishing Marge as someone who wants to preserve Lou's dignity.    Yet, she is far from a softie, especially when dealing with suspects.    She assertively, but kindly interviews Jerry and others, maintaining her pluckiness and determination to solve the crime.

Fargo takes place in the dead of Minnesota winter circa 1987.    The landscape is whited out with snow that seems to be permanently affixed to the ground.    You wonder if it will ever get warm enough to thaw it all.    There are no sunny days, just clouds and gray, but the film is not depressing or bleak.   We remain hopeful that good will triumph over bad.     These are not the sort of criminals that could outsmart anyone, much less a professional like Marge.    Fargo mixes crime drama with dark humor successfully.    Jerry's attempts to hold it all together while his scheme crumbles is elevated to high comedy.     Macy is brilliant in this film.    He tries to maintain the façade of folksiness that comes naturally to someone like Marge, but he reeks of desperation from every pore.  

Fargo remains a unique movie experience.     Joel and Ethan Coen, who wrote and directed, draw these characters lovingly, with nice human touches.    Even the villains.    It is difficult not to love this world of desolate cold and snow as far as the eye can see.    It is remarkable how well the Coens can introduce this world, shake it up, and return it to normalcy.     It is even more remarkable to see Marge walk through this world of crap and come out clean on the other side.  







Monday, November 2, 2015

Loose Cannons (1990) *



Directed by:  Bob Clark

Starring:  Gene Hackman, Dan Aykroyd, Robert Prosky, Nancy Travis, Dom Deluise

How could Bob Clark have directed A Christmas Story and then churn out a mess like Loose Cannons?    More often than not, Clark made movies closer to Loose Cannons in terms of quality than A Christmas Story.   This is a woeful miscalculation.   I can't imagine how the premise even sounded promising on paper, yet it attracted super talents like Gene Hackman and Dan Aykroyd to star in it.    It is easy to say they should have known better, but only they know what compelled them to make this film.    Thankfully, both moved on to bigger and better things.    Hackman even won a second Oscar two years after this film's release.    Unfortunately, the movie was released during Aykroyd's campaign for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Driving Miss Daisy.    Did voters take one look at this dud and hold it against Aykroyd?   I couldn't say for certain, but I would like to see where he placed in the runner-up voting.   (Denzel Washington won for Glory by the way).

Loose Cannons stars Hackman as Mac Stern, a Washington DC cop investigating a series of murders of German nationals.   He is paired with a schizophrenic forensics expert named Ellis Fielding (Aykroyd) who morphs into various personalities when confronted with trauma or violence.    Well, these are not really even personalities, but impressions of characters in better movies.    Not one moment of Ellis' psychotic breaks are even the tiniest bit funny.    Ellis' issues are really nothing more than an excuse for Aykroyd to break into different voices and act oddly, with Hackman and bystanders looking on in stunned silence.    These episodes were likely to make even Robin Williams cringe.   This is usually his territory.   Was he too busy to bother with this movie?   

Ellis is a quiet, mild-mannered guy who is the nephew of Hackman's captain.    There's nepotism and then there is putting your career at stake for someone who clearly needs continued professional care.   In Loose Cannons, Ellis is allowed to jeopardize himself and others while pretending to be James Cagney or The Three Stooges.    Would it be too much to ask for Ellis to at least turn into Don Corleone?    That idea is better than anything in the entire movie, and I say this as modestly as possible. 

The reason behind the murders is to attempt to stop the distribution of a film in which a man named Von Metz (Prosky), who is due to become the next Chancellor of Germany, gets to know Adolf Hitler in the biblical sense and puts to rest the theories that Hitler's death wasn't a suicide after all.   The buyer is a sleazy porn king (DeLuise), who becomes a target of hitmen and must be protected by Mac and Ellis.   The dynamic between these three resembles Joe Pesci, Mel Gibson, and Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series, but without the fun or good humor.  

There are endless car chases, fights, and shootouts, all of which do nothing to enhance our enjoyment while simply adding screen time to stretch the film to feature length.   Hackman must have said to himself, "The chase I did in The French Connection was way more awesome."    There is not a character or plot to care about.    Loose Cannons is a dead zone and a waste of the talent involved.  

Hal Roach, Sr, a legendary director in the infancy of motion pictures was credited with saying, "Cut to the chase".    This was his advice to screenwriters and filmmakers who filled their movies with unnecessary dialogue and plot developments on their way to the climactic chase scene.    Roach likely would have advised the makers of Loose Cannons to "cut past the chase, the outcome, and get to the closing credits so we all can leave."    I learned the film was shot in 1988 and sat on the shelf before its early 1990 release.    No wonder. 

Years later, some negatives of Loose Cannons were found buried in an Alberta, Canada landfill.   The employee who discovered the pieces of film thought it was footage of a real murder, but investigators were able to conclude that the footage was simply negatives of the movie.    Dan Aykroyd commented, "The movie should have been left in the landfill where it belongs."    His words, not mine.