Spectre (2015) * 1/2

Directed by:  Sam Mendes

Starring:  Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw, Ralph Fiennes, Lea Seydoux, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott

After twenty-four James Bond films, the franchise has run out of gas.    There doesn't seem to be anything more that can be done to revive it.   We have a new Bond, a new Q, a new M, and a new Moneypenny, but Spectre is stale and lifeless.    It has become what Austin Powers parodied nearly twenty years ago, minus the laughs.    Austin Powers knew Bond movies were silly, but understood they could still be fun anyway.    Spectre is humorless Bond.    Gone is the Bond who threw out one-liners and double entendres.    We have Daniel Craig once again playing a Bond who people forgot to tell him was supposed to be a cheerfully absurd hero.    Craig looks the part physically and we can believe that he could best a monster like Dave Bautista in a fistfight.    However, he is so stoic and inexpressive we begin to wonder if anyone is actually at home.   

Spectre also brings the evil organization SPECTRE into full bloom after three previous movies' worth of teasing their existence.    SPECTRE exists to fail.    They spend bottomless amounts of money and resources on killing James Bond only to come up empty time and again.     Why haven't they learned to cut their losses and let someone get their ass kicked by Bond?    SPECTRE is re-imagined also, like Bond, Q, and M, but the results are still the same.    They are led by a shadowy figure named Franz Oberhauser (Waltz), who was believed to be dead already and shares something of a past with Bond.    Their relationship is hinted at, but never explored.    No, I'm not talking about a homosexual liaison or anything like that.     Bond's past with Franz is much more mundane.   

Waltz can play a villain with the best of them, but in Spectre he is limited to making the same mistakes the other ubervillains who took on Bond made.    He has numerous chances to simply shoot Bond and he would be free to pillage and plunder the world without resistance, but he chooses to show Bond his secret fortress and explain his plan for world domination.     This plan, which I think includes unlimited surveillance involving nine nations, is underwhelming to say the least.     This stuff is child's play to any world intelligence organization worth its salt.     Why not make Franz' relationship with Bond more complex or vice versa?    Why not introduce an element of internal conflict over having to kill a childhood friend?     Bond nor Franz thinks anything of this.    Neither did the screenwriters.

Bond movies will continue to be made.    Daniel Craig will soon step aside and another actor will be brought in to interpret the role.     I do not know what is left to explore.    There was once a time in which car chases, foot chases, fistfights, explosions, and gunplay were presented in sly fun in this franchise.    Ever since Dr. No introduced James Bond to the world in 1962, other films and franchises have imitated, bettered, or even parodied him.    What was once fresh and original is now a trite retread.     There isn't anything left to liven things up.    When Franz was walking Bond through his lair, I couldn't help but think of how Dr. Evil did it with more style plus the fun that is now nonexistent in Bond films.