The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005) 1/2 *

Directed by: Garth Jennings

Starring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Alan Rickman, Sam Rockwell

I mentioned about walking out on The Other Guys. Here is the only other movie I ever walked out on. Why spend 7 or 8 bucks on a movie only to walk out on it? I believe in getting value for my money, but why subject myself to dreadful filmmaking any longer than is humanly tolerable?

I'll try and stay away from hyperbole and discuss rationally what a misbegotten adventure this film is. It is a mess, lacking any structure whatsoever. Based on the book by the late Douglas Adams, unread by me, it is the story of a man in a bathrobe who is whisked away from Earth moments before it is blown to smithereens by an alien race to make way for "an expressway".

His guide takes him to different parts of the galaxy where he encounters aliens with strange names who act incoherently.  Guys with names like Zaphod Beeblebrox and if you think for one second that I had to look that up because my memory failed me then you would be correct.  There are many in-jokes about bureaucracies that probably were spot on when the book was written in the late 70's, but now they are old hat and trite.

The attitude of the guy in the bathrobe named Arthur Dent (Freeman) pretty much sums up the dearth of enthusiasm for the material.  He doesn't really do much of anything except stand there with a cup of coffee in hand and treat the destruction of Earth as if it were one of those things.  Actually, I probably overstated his attitude.

I can't imagine there is anything in this movie that is appealing to anyone.  Whomever watches it expecting a space adventure a la Star Wars will be sorely disappointed.  Actually, whomever watches it expecting anything resembling a movie will be sorely disappointed.   My recommendation for improvement: Trim roughly 95 minutes.    If there are some credits left over or even a studio logo, trim that too.    This film makes me wish I was watching The Other Guys.  

The Other Guys (2010) 1/2 *

Directed by: Adam McKay

Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson

I walked out on one other movie in my life, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Now here's the other one. This movie is a comedy dead zone. I can't even muster up enthusiasm to shit all over it, even though it robbed me of about two hours of my life.  (I'm counting the previews and the pre-show entertainment also.)  It sapped me of my love for movies and my energy, for a bit.  I walked out thinking of all the ways the $18.00 I spent for admission and food could've been better spent or even saved.   I vowed to become more economical by making sure I wait for movies to come on DVD a lot more often instead of seeing them in theaters.

How is this such a woebegone movie?  This one is a misstep almost from the start.  Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson have some fun in the beginning as hotshot cops who destroy half a city block trying to bust some guys with a 1/4 ounce of weed on them.   They are probably having fun because they knew that they would leave the scene soon and don't have to appear in the rest of the film.

The rest of The Other Guys is about two desk jockeys (Ferrell and Wahlberg) who try to act like real detectives and bust bad guys.  They also try to act funny in a script that doesn't know if it wants to spoof cop movies or be a cop movie itself.  It spends a lot of time on a plot that is increasingly irrelevant as the movie wears on.   Boy, does the movie wear on.

There are other talented people in the movie. Wahlberg, Eva Mendes as Ferrell's wife whom Ferrell believes is only OK-looking.  She is only OK-looking, but Wahlberg carries on like she's a goddess. Michael Keaton is their boss, Capt. Gene Mauch, and it's hard to believe he stopped playing Batman to appear in dreck like this. (Gene Mauch, by the way, was the Phillies skipper who oversaw the 6 1/2 game lead collapse in 1964, and I know how much Phillies fans consider that funny to this day). Oh, and Captain likes to unwittingly use the names of TLC songs in his everyday speech.   There were at least three jokes in which the Captain quoted a TLC song and was called on it.   If anyone can tell me why this is funny, I'm all ears.   British funnyman Steve Coogan also appears as the villain the guys chase but even his involvement is murky.  I think at the point I walked out, everyone was shooting at him and the guys were protecting him.

I don't know.  I'm sure there are other many better films that don't get the distribution deal this one did or even find their way to the big screen.  Somehow, The Other Guys made it to a few thousand theaters in its opening weekend while The Hurt Locker opened in a few hundred and had to depend on word of mouth to get it a wider opening.  How do films like this get greenlighted?  What possesses its actors to star in it, except for the work itself?  Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are busy actors who have other things on their plate and should've passed.

I'm not an executive at the movie studio that greenlighted The Other Guys, but something tells me the guy who greenlighted it won't be doing it for much longer.

Casino (1995) * * * 1/2

Directed by: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Don Rickles, Sharon Stone, James Woods, Alan King


Casino resembles Scorsese's Goodfellas in its depictions of the mob and the story of paradise lost.  It  has a high energy and authenticity which is never less than compelling.     It contains many familiar Scorsese themes, but it can stand on its own as a story of people who, in the words of Pesci's Nicky Santoro, "fucked up good."   You can think of it as a companion piece to the 1990 mob classic. 

Casino is based on a true story from 1970's and 1980's Las Vegas.   Sam "Ace" Rothstein (DeNiro) is a smart, observant bookie with a knack for picking gambling winners for the mob.   He earns for them big time.  According to Pesci, "If he finds out a quarterback has a drug problem, he'll use the information to make money."   As a goose who continues to lay golden eggs, he is made the head of the Tangiers Casino in Las Vegas.   As long as the casino makes money and the mob can skim its cut, everyone's happy.   Well, sort of.   Nicky Santoro (Pesci) is assigned to protect Rothstein in Vegas, but soon starts a crime spree that gets him kicked out of every casino on the strip and brings an unwanted spotlight on Rothstein and the Tangiers.

More trouble arises in the form of call girl Ginger (Stone), with whom Rothstein falls in love    He knows she may be trouble, but marries her anyway.  ("For a guy who loves sure things, I was betting on a real long shot.")    Boy, he had no idea.    Ginger is smart, connected, has a big drug problem, and an inseparable bond with her L.A. based pimp Lester (James Woods-at his slimy best).   She can pretty much handle any situation, except for Lester, for whom she dips into the Rothstein coffers. "$25,000 is way too much for three suits,"  Rothstein observes none too subtly when Ginger tells him she took Lester shopping.   

DeNiro's Rothstein, unlike his Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas, is not the muscle, but the brains behind the whole operation.     He makes lots of money and is tough in his own way, but even his smarts can't control wildcards like Ginger and Nicky.   They are simply too much for him, which starts the whole downward spiral rolling.    What's so riveting about Casino is how the heat drawn on the threesome becomes so overwhelmingly tense.     The feds start snooping around, the state starts questioning, and soon, as is custom, people get whacked.     An attempted car bombing on Rothstein begins the film and Rothstein explains what got him to that point.

Like Goodfellas, Casino contains much voice-over narration, mostly by Ace and Nicky, who sound 100% authentic and streetwise while narrating, yet do such dumb things to belie that.   You would think they were talking about two other wiseguys who caused trouble in paradise.    What causes this downfall?     For Ginger, drugs and more drugs, plus an ill-advised affair with Nicky.   For Nicky, his temper and desire to make a name for himself doing things that he shouldn't.    Ace's problem: His love for Ginger, which is based more on idealization than love.    He thinks he can tame her.    He is wrong.  

Casino juggles a lot, but Scorsese keeps it all coherent and energetic with a forever-moving camera that allows the audience to peek into this exclusive world where glamour is the disguise for what is essentially highway robbery.   Ace observes: "People fly in from all over the world and leave behind a billion dollars.  With all that money flying around, how could it go wrong?     It did.  

Raging Bull (1980) * * * 1/2

Directed by: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Robert Deniro, Joe Pesci, Cathy Moriarty


Although Raging Bull focuses on the early life and career of boxer Jake Lamotta (Deniro), who once held the World Middleweight title, the boxing takes a back seat.   In true Scorsese fashion, the focus is instead on how Lamotta was his own worst enemy on more than one occasion.   His low self-esteem and jealousy threatens his marriage, while his brutish nature alienates almost everyone else. Many times during the film, I simply shook my head as Lamotta continually dug himself a deeper hole.   Lamotta never once thought his life would be better if he learned to get out of his own way. Everyone else saw this, but Lamotta lacked the introspection to truly see it.

Because Lamotta is so hard-headed and incapable of change, Raging Bull's emotional arc only goes so high. However, Raging Bull teems with tension, energy, and of course, Deniro's performance. His Lamotta doesn't deserve sympathy, but he inspires it anyway. He is the catalyst of many scenes in which the pressure he puts on his relationships becomes intolerable. Watch the early scenes in which Lamotta was an up-and-comer living in a cramped Bronx apartment with his first wife. The apartment is small, the hallways small, and the summer heat hangs a pall over everything. Lamotta makes it worse by constantly fighting with his wife over steak and just about everything else. Why the fighting? Not only is it his profession, but his nature, or his pathology.

Raging Bull concerns more with Lamotta's second marriage to a girl named Vikki (Moriarty), who is 15 when they meet, yet carries herself with far more street smarts and maturity than perhaps Lamotta can handle. Lamotta idealizes her in perfectly Freudian terms. Before obtaining her, he sees her as an unblemished virgin, even if she isn't necessarily one. When he first sees her and asks Joey about her, it is more of an interrogation of whether Joey had sex with her. He is unable to handle Vikki's sexuality before or during his marriage. It is a classic "madonna-whore" complex.

When Jake marries Vikki, he is obsessed with imagined infidelities. Every move Vikki makes is scrutinized and questioned. How she greets friends is also a subject of great controversy. An innocent kiss becomes a fight between Jake and Joey, leading to a rift that is somewhat repaired years later. At one point, Vikki describes an opponent of Lamotta's as "good looking", which turns into sleepless nights and a brutal beating for the poor guy. "He ain't pretty no more", says an onlooker as Lamotta pounds the guy's face into mincemeat.

Raging Bull has brutal, bloody, and realistic fights.    Unlike Rocky movies, hundreds of punches aren't thrown over the course of a round.   The fight scenes aren't about fighting anyway, but act more as a chance for catharsis and relief for Lamotta.   Fighting is a brief outlet for the rage, frustrations, and insecurities of Lamotta.   At one point, Lamotta takes a dive for some local mobsters looking to make money and afterward he is sobbing uncontrollably over it. "What did I do?" he asks himself, but I wondered if he was upset over taking the dive or because his one outlet may be taken away if the fix is discovered.

Raging Bull also focuses on Lamotta's post-boxing career, which consisted of running bars, trying stand-up comic, and running afoul of the law. Vikki finally leaves him after one fight too many and he is jailed for serving drinks to a 14-year-old.   How is he convinced the girl is 21?   By making out with her, which makes Lamotta a hypocrite as well in terms of his personal life.   It would've been poetic if Vikki caught him with the 14-year-old and gave him a taste of his own medicine.

A funny thing happened while writing this review. In the title section, I awarded Raging Bull three stars, but the more I wrote, the more I discovered that Raging Bull is better than that. I changed my star rating to three and a half stars. I still believe that Raging Bull doesn't have the emotional power of the film that famously beat it for Best Picture in 1980, Ordinary People, but it is still a strong film with performances by Deniro, Pesci, and Moriarty that provide dimensions that you may not see the first time around.

Chariots Of Fire (1981) * * * *

Directed by: Hugh Hudson

Starring: Ben Cross, Ian Charleson, Ian Holm


It's rare that I've seen a sports film involving the participants' need to win and how the idea of winning and losing defines one's self. Chariots Of Fire sets itself apart from other sports movies because it isn't just about who wins the big race at the end.   How does it feel to train for years only to lose by tenths of a second?   Jerry Seinfeld once joked about how difficult it must be to lose a race by an amount so small that it's quicker than the snap of your fingers.   But yet, Olympic runners like Harold Abrahams (Cross) and Eric Liddell, who are the primary focus of Chariots Of Fire, knew that all too well. 

Aside from cameos by American actors Dennis Christopher and Brad Davis, who were up and coming stars in 1981, Chariots Of Fire boasts a primarily English cast and is very much pro-British, but its themes are very likely universal for athletes and non-athletes alike.   Hell, many people's happiness is affected when their favorite sports team wins or loses, but little thought is given to the happiness of the athletes who actually play the games.   In the cases of Abrahams and Liddell, each runs because they love to run but also as an instrument.    For Abrahams, who is Jewish, running is a way to get the last laugh on an anti-Semitic system at Cambridge where he attends college.   The powers that be there don't necessarily beat him down with fists and slurs, but he is clearly an outsider to a mostly Christian group of students and faculty.

Liddell is a Scottish missionary who runs as an instrument of God. He says to his wife, who fails to understand his obsession, "When I run, I feel His pleasure." But he is also so steadfast in his religious beliefs that he refuses to run an Olympic race that is held on a Sunday, even in the face of mounting pressures by the Prince Of Wales and the Olympic committee.

The film, set against the backdrop of the 1924 Paris Olympics, is one of quiet power.  The Oscar-winning score by Vangelis doesn't bash you over the head underscoring each moment of triumph and despair.  For Abrahams, despair comes early when he races against Liddell in a college meet and is blown away.  Seeing Abrahams sitting quietly yet angrily afterward is a microcosm of the film's theme: Winning isn't just everything, it defines everything.  At that point, he meets up with Sam Mussabini (Holm-in an Oscar-nominated performance) who says he can train Abrahams to gain two full yards in his strides. You would think a Rocky-like training montage will soon follow, but what you really see are two men trying to exorcise demons of past failures and losses. Mussabini is unable to attend the final race in person due to being banned from the Olympic stadium, but how he handles the news of the race's outcome is a masterstroke in every way. Another masterful scene in the film is the one before racetime in which Abrahams reveals that if he wins the race, he will have conquered all that he could by running and the future beyond that frightened him. Without one more mountain to climb, how will he be able to fight the system as he has for many years? He says, "I have known the fear of losing, but I now know the fear of winning."

Chariots Of Fire won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1981, which is quite a feat considering its competition was Reds, On Golden Pond, Atlantic City, and Raiders Of Lost Ark, four great films in their own right. But yet, Chariots Of Fire is a treasure. It goes beyond the obvious conflicts caused within athletic competition and focuses on how the competition stirs the souls of its participants.