Cool Hand Luke (1967) * * *

Directed by: Stuart Rosenberg

Starring: Paul Newman, George Kennedy, Strother Martin

Paul Newman plays Lucas Jackson, a prisoner on a chain gang who brings beatings upon himself after numerous escape attempts and running afoul of the prison's warden. Cool Hand Luke is violent and downbeat and its hero is more masochistic than the guards are sadistic. They give him beatings indeed, but in the beginning of the film, they seem to be rather accomodating to him and the other prisoners given the circumstances. Even the warden, played by Strother Martin, doesn't appear to be altogether unforgiving or sadistic until being pushed one too many times by Luke. He is the one who utters the famous line, "What we have here is failure to communicate." He is trying to get Luke's "head right" but it doesn't ever seem to work out that way. Mostly because Luke seems to have a death wish or a wish to get beaten savagely.

Not much is mentioned about why Luke thinks the way he does. He was imprisoned for knocking the tops off of mailboxes, as if he couldn't think of any other way to get himself into trouble, but get in trouble he does. What makes Cool Hand Luke unique is that there is no great injustice foisted upon its hero that he didn't practically beg for. He attempts to escape three times, but without any real plan of what to do next and halfway expecting to be brought back to prison. In the climactic scene in an old church, Luke talks to God and explains that he wasn't given much by God, but my guess is that even if he were given gifts, he would squander them.

Cool Hand Luke is not a film that really ever hits an emotional high note. It is steady in its pacing and doesn't make Luke out to be a misunderstood hero or a martyr to the unjust legal system. I understood him plenty and although I didn't side with the guards in their treatment of him, I can at least understand their motives. How much can one be pushed before pushing back? And I'm not talking about Luke either. He is the one doing the pushing, which is most unusual.

The film mostly works because Newman is able to play the antihero well, while George Kennedy (who won an Oscar for his performance here), first comes off as a yard bully but after beating the snot out of Luke in a fight (if that's what you want to call Kennedy knocking Luke down and Luke repeatedly getting up only to be knocked down again), he admires the toughness and resiliency of the man he terms, "Cool Hand Luke". The trouble is, these traits are hardly used for anything constructive by Luke.

The A-Team (2010) * 1/2

Directed by: Joe Carnahan

Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton Rampage Jackson, Jessica Biel

The 1980's NBC series "The A-Team" capitalized on Mr. T's wild popularity at the time and its cartoonish action to become a huge hit.   It was only a matter of time before the creatively bankrupt folks in Hollywood targeted it for a movie makeover.  I can't imagine that there will be a TV series that won't get the Hollywood treatment.    Silver Spoons fans don't worry, your day will come.

The movie is loud, cartoonish, and full of CGI.   There is in fact so much going on and being hurled at you that your mind eventually shuts off from overload.  The A-Team is a relentless barrage on your senses that wears itself out well before the conclusion.    CGI makes almost anything appear plausible, but you know it simply isn't.    Such as the scene in which the plane the A guys are flying blows up and they escape in a tank which the crew can seemingly steer in mid-air.   Or such as the mass explosions during the final showdown in which large things are being blown up and shrapnel flies everywhere, yet never seems to hit anybody.

And how do explosions know to stop their flames just short of the heroes so they don't get injured? Let's also not forget the falls from great heights that the good guys can shrug off with hardly a scratch while the bad guys of course die from those same falls.

I could go on and on and I understand that many movies are made to be cartoonish exercises and action-packed, but mind-numbingly so like The A-Team?  There are good actors here who do what they can with very limited characterizations, although Jackson's Mr. T impersonations fall short.  Say what you will about Mr. T, but his style is inimitable.  Neeson doesn't even bother to hide his Irish brogue, but he is convincing anyway.  Cooper is a cool Faceman while Sharlto Copley manages to switch between his native South African accent and a Southern one.  Sure his Murdock is crazy, but can't he at least keep one accent?

The plot is similar to the TV show's, in which these former Army rangers are framed, jailed, and break out of jail to prove their innocence.  Whether innocent or not, they should know that causing untold property damage and mayhem while trying to prove innocence will still put them back in the joint for a little while longer.  And wouldn't you know it, Neeson's Hannibal Smith chomps on cigars and declares, "I love it when a plan comes together."  If you were expecting anything less, you would be watching the wrong movie.

Red State (2011) * 1/2

Directed by : Kevin Smith

Starring: John Goodman, Melissa Leo, Michael Parks

This is Kevin Smith's first non-comedy film. There are many who didn't laugh during Cop Out that may dispute this. Here, he tries his hand at a politically charged thriller ripped from the headlines....if those headlines were written back in 1993, when ATF agents raided the compound of cult leader David Koresh. The plot here echoes that, but Smith is unable to make a compelling film out of it.

Red State is a film with plenty of dialogue, which isn't unusual for a Smith film. On at least three occasions, however, there are monologues which drag on and on and grind the film to a halt. But at least none of those involved Superman or Star Wars, or is that really a blessing in this case?

The plot starts with three horny teenagers answering an online ad for a gangbang from a supposed prostitute (Melissa Leo), who instead drugs the lads and imprisons them in the cult compound of Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), a gray-haired religious yahoo who isn't above murdering those who are sinners in his eyes. Who are sinners? Pretty much anyone who isn't exactly like he or his brainwashed followers. In a hyper-religious time we appear to live in now, the comparisons to Fred Phelps are purely intentional.

No doubt this is a scary setup which sets the film on a level of a nightmare, but then Cooper expounds on his views in a nearly 10-minute long sermon which had me screaming for the nearest film editor. Clearly Smith didn't realize that less was more in displaying Cooper as a maniac using the Bible to disguise his sociopathic ways. Not one word of this sermon is memorable and rambles on like many less violent televangelical ravings you may see on TV every day.

It is soon (I won't reveal how here for the sake of space) that the compound is surrounded by ATF agents led by John Goodman and a bloody, seemingly endless shootout occurs. Cult members and non-cult members alike have their heads blown off and spurt lots and lots of blood. The odd thing here is that both the cult and the agents are seen as amoral, unsympathetic creeps and thus any rooting interest is taken away. Smith seems to direct his rage at everyone involved, which may be credible and even realistic, but dramatically shapeless.

When there is a shootout and many, many lives at stake, is it too much to ask that we care that anyone lives?

The ending of the film is odd as well. I won't give it away, except to say that it allows another several minutes of pontification by one of the characters when we've had our fill of pontification. I couldn't help but compare this ending to that of No Country For Old Men. This may be the only time I will ever compare Red State to No Country For Old Men in any capacity.

The Hangover Part II (2011) * 1/2

Directed by: Todd Phillips

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifiankis, Ken Jeong, Justin Bartha


Other than the fact that 2009's The Hangover was a surprise smash, I can think of no other reason to have this sequel. The Hangover was a raunchy comedy that had a pretty decent amount of laughs and a plot which I actually found myself caring about.  It was a self-contained piece that really didn't require a sequel because there was no more real story to be told.  The sequel is just a retread of the original, with the action moved to Thailand instead of Vegas and contains zero laughs.  There are some interchangeable parts, but the ideas are the same, only much less effective this time around.

I was surprised by the lack of energy Part II exuded. I'd have to think it's because the actors and crew sensed deja vu and figured that if the script went by rote, then why not us?  Perhaps because the Thailand of this movie is significantly less scenic than Vegas. Or perhaps because the plot is one that just can't really be cared about.    The first Hangover worked because it was interesting to watch the befuddled guys try and piece together what happened to them with very few clues to go on.   It was fun to watch the misunderstandings and calamities unfold.   In Part II, the same unfolding of surprises just meant that I would have to sit in the seat a little while longer while the crew looks for an ultimately minor character.     I had a lot less caring in me this time around.  

I got pretty much what I expected out of Hangover Part II, except laughs. The film contains zero laughs, even in the gross-out scenes and even in the scenes in which Zach Galifianakis tries to behave even weirder than in the first Hangover.   Call me humorless and call me whatever you like, but don't call me if there's a Hangover III.

Little Fockers (2010) * *

Directed by: Paul Weitz

Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro, Owen Wilson, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand

Little Fockers is the rubber match in a trilogy that produced a not-so-good comedy and a slightly better one so far.  Despite virtually everyone I know disagreeing with me, I found Meet The Parents to be a one-joke comedy with the one joke told over and over in different ways. Meet The Fockers was more successful because the Fockers were crazy but lovable and gave Robert DeNiro someone else to play off of.   It was better, not necessarily great.  

Now, we have Little Fockers, which really isn't about the grandchildren at all, but just one more attempt to stuff ninety minutes of gross-out humor, erections gone awry, and of course myriad misunderstandings into an ungainly package.  It has one or two chuckles, but slinks away almost undetected and unremembered by the brain.    Most of the cast appears to be phoning it in, and some do it literally.    I think enough comic juice has been squeezed from the franchise.  

I sincerely doubt we'll see a fourth installment, even though the film does try to hint at one. Making a fourth Fockers film would be like the party guest who just won't leave even though the host is shutting off the lights to go to bed.   

Bridesmaids (2011) * *

Directed by: Paul Feig

Starring: Kristen Wiig, Rose Byrne, Maya Rudolph, Chris O'Dowd, Jill Clayburgh, Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper

Bridesmaids is a really thin comedy that takes way too long to tell. It runs an absurdly long 2 hours and 5 minutes (perhaps that includes the credits which contain outtakes, but I highly doubt there were many of those). Some scenes run so long that I become aware of how long they're running, and that is deadly for comedy in which pacing is every bit as important as the laughs. Bridesmaids is being billed as "The Hangover for women", only this movie contains no hangovers and never completes the trip to Vegas, but more on that later.

Saturday Night Live's Kristen Wiig stars as Annie, whose life is not going well as the film opens. She is mired in debt due to running a bakery that failed, she works at a jewelry store trying desperately to sell hope and love to customers while she has none, and she lives with a strange brother and sister who would rather she be gone. Oh, and her only "relationship" is as a fuckdoll for a rich slickster (Jon Hamm) who has rules against her sleeping over.

There is some good news in that her best friend since childhood, Lillian (Rudolph) gets engaged and chooses her as the maid of honor. However, it becomes apparent that Annie is simply out of her depth trying to coordinate the events for the wedding party. The wedding party consists of a rich friend of Lillian's who seems better suited to handle things, an oversexed mom of 3, a Mormonish wife, and a rotund, rugged ball of energy named Megan who is meant to the female counterpart to Zach Galifinakis from The Hangover.

The problem here isn't the performances. Wiig is lovable and vulnerable, Rose Byrne is the rich, connected new friend of Lillian who may or may not be trying to usurp Annie as "the best friend", and I even liked Jon Hamm's unapologetic SOB who refers to Annie as "Hey, fuck buddy." The problem stems from the fact that many of the key scenes go on and on. Here is a list of them:

1. The opening scene in which Wiig is getting banged in as many positions as the Kama Sutra allows.

2. The engagement party toast in which Wiig and Byrne one-up each other in an attempt to impress the bride-to-be.

3. The flight to Vegas in which Wiig gets stoned on Valium and pills and flops about the first-class cabin.

4. The scene in which the girls go to pick out their dresses and simultaneous cases of food poisoning emerge. Alas, there is only one bathroom and one toilet and you can guess where that goes from there.

5. The scene in which Wiig tries to get the attention of her state patrolman sort-of boyfriend by driving by and flaunting her lawbreaking.

There were probably more, but these scenes add up to overkill and at least an additional 20 minutes of running time. There are some funny parts here and Wiig is likable enough to carry a movie, but she also co-wrote it and needs to learn that less is more sometimes. The film wears out its welcome a good 85 minutes in and there is still a wedding to go.

MacGruber (2010) *

Directed by:  Jorma Taccone



Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe,Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe


MacGruber is based on a Saturday Night Live sketch that has been stretched out into feature-length nonsense. Like many movies based on SNL skits, it's jaw-droppingly bad. MacGruber is apparently based on the 80's TV show MacGyver, in which the title character creatively uses ordinary items to create explosions and mayhem while fighting the bad guys.

I never watched MacGyver, but it has a cult following even today.  What I know about it is based on the parodies and potshots of it from The Simpsons.

I have to judge a comedy by whether I laughed enough to have a good time with it.   The plots are usually immaterial to its success. Animal House really didn't have much of a plot, but it was really, really funny.   MacGruber, alas, is not funny at all.   I didn't even crack a smile, let alone laugh at this film which is trying so desperately to draw out laughs.

How desperate? When MacGruber (played by Will Forte) is taken off the mission, he begs for his job back by offering fellatio to his male superiors...over and over.   He even takes his pants down so he could receive anal if need be.   Did the writers think it was funny that a macho agent would reduce himself to begging to commit overtly homosexual acts?    Did they think that offering blowjobs to keep a job is intrinsically funny?   Did they think at all?

And what about the scene in which MacGruber has sex with his longtime friend Vicki (Wiig) and screams that he will "fill her up". He also does this with the ghost of his dead wife and you can imagine that this doesn't work any better.   Oh, and let's not forget the name of his enemy, Dieter Von Cunth (Kilmer), who steals a nuclear missile and threatens to blow up Washington DC with it, just in case you were really wondering what the plot of the movie was. "Cunth" sounds a lot like...well, you know and no it isn't funny when the name is said the first time, fifth time, or fiftieth time.

SNL skits don't really make for good movies. The Ladies Man, Coneheads, and Wayne's World are testaments to this.  Stretching out five minute sketches to feature-length is dicey indeed, especially when you have another 75 minutes or so to fill and the first five aren't that funny to start with.  How MacGruber even got made is baffling to me, but I guess producer Lorne Michaels has enough clout to get junk like this made. I can't imagine how many possibly good films were left unmade because the studio devoted precious budget money to this.

By the way, for fans of the movie Tombstone (I am certainly one), MacGruber represents a reunion of two of the film's stars: Kilmer and Powers Boothe. If they ever appear in another movie together, they would do just as well to forget they appeared together in this one and reminisce about the good old days of Tombstone.

The King's Speech (2010) * * * *

Directed by: Tom Hooper

Starring: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush, Guy Pearce

Describing the plot of The King's Speech really makes the film seem less fascinating than it is. Someone would say, "The next king of England has a bad stammer and a therapist helps him to cure it. Yeah? And...?" The film must've been a hard sell for its producers, mostly because movie studios are enraptured with superhero films, prequels, "reboots", and anything that can be filmed in 3-D.  I wonder if the studio asked if The King's Speech could be shot in 3-D.

The King's Speech works so well because it takes an almost uncinematic plot and makes it crackle with life, wit, and empathy for the characters.   It's not simply a period piece with beautiful art direction and lots of people in English accents, but it is involving as a historical document and the depiction of an unlikely friendship.

The plot was already described in the first paragraph, sort of. Colin Firth is Prince Albert, second in line to the British throne to succeed his father George V (Michael Gambon).   He is happy to be second in line because his horrible stammer he has had since childhood keeps him from being able to speak publicly.  Public speaking is bad enough, but he also has trouble telling a bedtime story to his young daughters.  His supportive and concerned wife (Carter), turns to speech therapist after speech therapist with little success until she comes across a practice run by a failed actor (Rush) whose office is located in what would pass for a London slum.

At first, Firth is apprehensive about his therapy with the commoner Rush, especially since Rush's Lionel Logue insists that the two speak on a first-name basis, which is something that is not done between royalty and its subjects.     But it seems Logue may be on to something here and Firth finds himself not just a therapist, but a friend and confidant.  And just in time too, because Albert's brother (Pearce) assumes the throne after their father's death, but abdicates it famously so he could marry a twice-divorced American woman, thus thrusting Albert into the unwanted position of His Royal Highness.

The performances here work splendidly. Firth not only has the technical aspects of his performance down (the stammer is quite convincing), but his own insecurities also draw a lot of sympathy, even though he is a well-to-do prince.  Carter projects care, love, and support and it breaks her heart to see her husband unable to communicate even on a most personal level.  Geoffrey Rush has the best lines and a lot of fun as Logue, who is Australian (like Rush), and enjoys the idea of "my home, my rules" when laying down the law to Firth and Carter about his unusual therapy practices.

Naturally, the film has the right feel and look of pre-war 1930's England.  But the film also has a flow and sweep that makes it fascinating.  There are no long. flowery soliloquies and words for words sake here.  The King's Speech is a delightful film that shatters all expectations and reveals a warm, quirky heart.

2010 Oscar Nominations and Predictions

For the past two years, I've been 7 out of 8 in these major categories. Well, here goes...

Best Picture

127 Hours
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

Winner: The Social Network (doesn't lead the overall nominations total, but it has won virtually all of the awards to date)

Best Actor

Javier Bardem in Biutiful (won Oscar in 2007 for No Country For Old Men, third nomination overall)

Jeff Bridges in True Grit (won Best Actor last year, won't be a repeat)

Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network (film will win enough awards without him winning)

Colin Firth in The King's Speech (Nominee last year in this category and I expect him to take it home)

James Franco in 127 Hours (First time in a while that the show's co-host is also a nominee)

Winner: Colin Firth (He has won numerous awards to date. It's a strong performance)

Best Actress

Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right (Fourth overall nomination, but she'll come up empty-handed again)

Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole (Won Oscar for Best Actress in 2002 for The Hours)

Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone (Who's this?)

Natalie Portman in Black Swan (Plays a ballerina who goes nuts-perfect Oscar fodder)

Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine (Second nomination for Heath Ledger's former squeeze and mother of his child)

Winner: Natalie Portman (Her role has Oscar written all over it- and now she'll be taken seriously until people see Thor)

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale in The Fighter (Plays crackhead brother of main character-steals the film and by the way also plays Batman)

John Hawkes in Winter's Bone (Who is this? Had to look him up and I don't recognize him, but I do recognize some movies he was in)

Jeremy Renner in The Town (Nominated last year for Best Actor, plays a tough guy from Boston like Bale does.)

Mark Ruffalo in The Kids Are All Right (He will play Dr. Bruce Banner in the upcoming Avengers movie and Bale of course plays Batman. What does this mean? Nothing)

Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech (Fourth overall nomination for previous Best Actor winner for 1996's Shine)

Winner: Christian Bale (A scene stealing performance and he has an addiction in the film, which tends to lead to Oscar)


Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams in The Fighter (I think her performance was better than Melissa Leo's and more multi-dimensional, but I'm here to pick the winner and she won't be it-Third overall nomination)

Helena Bonham Carter in The King's Speech (Firth and Rush are getting more publicity-Second nomination)

Melissa Leo in The Fighter (Second nomination overall. Has won Golden Globe)

Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit (Is 15 and in her first major role. I'm going to go against her winning)

Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom (She was an Emmy winner on the show 227 all those years ago....um, sorry that's Jackee, not this actress. I never heard of this actress either. Is this the Independent Spirit Awards or the Oscars?)

Winner: Melissa Leo (Her performance is the flashiest and it is a fine one, which is garnering attention and awards galore)

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen for True Grit
David Fincher for The Social Network
Tom Hooper for The King's Speech
David O. Russell for The Fighter

Winner: David Fincher (Second nomination and notice Christopher Nolan not nominated for Inception)

Best Original Screenplay

Another Year
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech

Winner: The Kids Are All Right (Story of a lesbian couple raising children. Nolan won't win even as a consolation prize despite it being a film of real originality. It may have confused too many voters)

Best Adapted Screenplay

127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

Winner: The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin (The script is what makes the film special. It has an ear for smart, witty dialogue)