Death on the Nile (1978) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  John Guillermin

Starring: Peter Ustinov, David Niven, Jane Birkin, Mia Farrow, Bette Davis, Simon MacCorkindale, Maggie Smith, George Kennedy, Lois Chiles, Jack Warden, Olivia Hussey, Angela Lansbury

Death on the Nile, based on the Agatha Christie novel, is the first featuring Peter Ustinov as the Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot.  People mistakenly assume he's French, and he's quick to correct them.  Nothing escapes him, although the murderers try their best to fool him.  He won't be swayed or distracted.  Once he's on the case, the killers ought to just confess and save everyone time.   But what fun would that be?  One of the most fun aspects of Death on the Nile, or any Agatha Christie film adaptation, is the detective gathering the suspects all in the same room and toying with each person's guilt or innocence.  Everyone is a suspect because everyone has a reason to want to kill the victim.  It's their poor fortune to be on the same boat as Hercule Poirot.   Just ask the folks on the Orient Express. 

I'll tread lightly.  The victim is Linett Doyle (Chiles), an heiress married to Simon Doyle (MacCorkindale), who dumped his lover Jacqueline (Farrow) prior and now she's obsessively stalking the couple.  Linett is found shot to death with a "J" written in blood on the wall next to her.  This was moments after Simon was accidentally shot in the leg by Jacqueline in a jealous rage in the dining room.  Simon was incapacitated and Jacqueline was escorted back to her room with witnesses present, so they're not involved.  Or are they?  Each suspect has motive and the movie speculates who could've done what and how.  

I won't go through the list of suspects except to say they are played by some of the legends of show business from a bygone era.  They exhibit class, style, and relish the material.  At least the actors do, even if the characters don't.  In the middle of it all is Ustinov's unflappability which keeps everything centered.  

How to Make a Killing (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  John Patton Ford

Starring:  Glen Powell, Margaret Qualley, Bill Camp, Zach Woods, Topher Grace, Ed Harris, Nell Williams, Jessica Henwick 

How to Make a Killing has the potential to lure us in and make us co-conspirators as Becket Redfellow (Powell) begins his quest to knock off the seven family members in line for his grandfather's inheritance in order to claim it for himself.  But it never takes off.  It plods when it should crackle.  We should care enough to hope he either gets away with it or gets caught, but in this case, it's neither.  Why is this?  Because the characters Becket needs to bump off aren't established enough for us to root for their demise and Becket's plight isn't exactly one we can sympathize with.   

Becket's mother got pregnant as a teenager and is subsequently cast out of her family by her father Whitelaw (oh, these names) (Harris) after refusing to have an abortion.  Mom creates a life in North Jersey where she grooms her son to be a future inheritor of the family fortune.  She dresses him in suits, teaches him how to speak like the manner-born, and eventually passes away from cancer while Becket is a teenager.  Becket's dad dropped dead from an embolism while witnessing his birth, in case you were wondering.

After working as a tailor for a while, Becket decides to go after the fortune when his childhood crush Julia (Qualley) spurns him because she's marrying some rich prick.  Julia acts like a femme fatale dropped in from a nearby thriller.  She catches on early that Becket is up to no good and acts accordingly.  The FBI also catches on since those who are dying are directly blocking Becket's succession to the inheritance.  Becket has occasional pangs of conscience and also forms a relationship with Ruth (Henwick), the former girlfriend of one of the cousins Becket kills.  

Becket tells the story to a priest while on death row awaiting execution.  How Becket manages to avoid this is unconvincing and screams of an attempt to give this story a happier ending.  Powell doesn't exhibit much charisma here, and we aren't much moved by his mission.  He isn't sympathetic or even unsympathetic.  He's just there.  So is the movie and that's deadly to the whole enterprise.  

Scream 7 (2026) * *

Directed by: Kevin Williamson

Starring: Neve Campbell, Joel McHale, Courteney Cox, Ethan Embry, Matthew Lillard, Isabel May, Mason Gooding, Sam Rechner, Anna CampCamp

Ghostface is back.  One day, I won't have to write those words, but as long as Scream movies continue to make money, there will be more Screams to be made.  Scream 7 feels by-the-numbers and uninspired.  There is always the whodunit aspect which keeps just enough interest to prevent the viewer from falling asleep, but the Scream movies have become a series of grisly killings which try to top the others in their blood and viciousness.  When you see someone's guts spilled out all over the place after a brutal kill, you realize Scream has lost its sense of fun.

Sidney Prescott (Campbell) returns to the franchise for the first time since Scream 4.  She lives with her police chief husband (McHale) and daughter Tatum (May) in a small town in an unnamed state and owns the local coffee shop.  Soon, after a loooong opening scene in which the Ghostface killer emerges, Sidney is contacted by someone proclaiming to be Stu (Lillard-who was killed in the first movie) and even calls her on FaceTime.  Is Stu really alive?  Or is this AI run amok?  And why do the people in these movies answer all calls from Unknown or Restricted callers?  If no one answered these calls, then the movies would screech to a halt.  

Now, one or more Ghostface killers are stalking and killing Sidney's loved ones and Tatum's friends.  Poor Sidney likely has enough PTSD to last three lifetimes and now has to go through it again.  No wonder she took two movies off.  Who could blame her?  And once the killer (or killers) is revealed, we realize that anyone who has more than 1-2 lines in the movie should be considered a suspect.  The explanation is ludicrous, as you would expect from someone who was only given a couple lines earlier in the film.  The Scream series has run out of gas and was only running on a half-tank to begin with. 

Miracle: The Boys of '80 (2026) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Jacob Rogal, Max Gershberg

It's impossible to reference the 1980 USA Men's Olympic Hockey team and not refer to the words "miracle" or "miraculous".  Those words will follow these players around for all time.  There are other movies about the team like Miracle (2004), Miracle on Ice (1981), and now Miracle: The Boys of '80 which focuses on the players, their stories, and their complicated relationship with their late head coach Herb Brooks.  The documentary reflects a time and place where the Olympics could be held in a quaint little town like Lake Placid, NY, where the opening ceremonies look like they were held on a local football field.  

February 1980 was the height of the Cold War between the USA and USSR, but the Soviet hockey team was head and shoulders above all of its competition.  They had won each four gold medals in a row and 1980's tournament was supposed to be merely a formality as they claim their fifth straight.  The American team was made of players in their late teens or early 20's, but the Soviets were veterans (some in their late 20's or early 30's) who were ostensibly professional players who skirted the then-Olympic amateur-only status by through "Red Army employment".  

Days before the Games, the USSR trounced the US in an exhibition at Madison Square Garden 10-3.  Their hopes of even competing for a medal, much less beating the unbeatable Soviets.  The USA managed a tie in the final minute of play in their first game vs. Sweden.  Had they lost that game, there would be no Miracle on Ice to document and sports history would've been drastically changed.  The economic and political climate in 1980 called for something to hope for and the US team provided that as they then tallied some unlikely wins.  Then, they drew the Soviets in the medal round and the rest is history.

The Boys of '80 is moving because of how it sees the players, their stories, and their lives.  Each played hard for Brooks, but they regret that they never got close to him.  Brooks wanted it that way, and the players' ambivalence towards him resonates to this day.  The players all sit in the arena where they upset the Soviets and ultimately claimed gold two days later, and we have to pinch ourselves that these men who captivated a nation were now older and histories of their own.  Many gave thanks to their supportive parents and still get emotional when discussing how they won the gold medal in their honor.  Each game is analyzed and the players themselves discuss what went through their minds especially in the final period of the win vs. the Soviets.  It was the longest ten minutes of their lives as they clung to a 4-3 lead.  

Then after the win, the team partied and basked in the glory, but Brooks, being who he was, said in harsher words that if they don't win the gold, all of this was for naught.  The win was so huge that people still forget that the win vs. the Soviets was only a semifinal game.  The Soviets likely came in overconfident after thrashing everyone in their path.  When the U.S. tied the game late in the first period, the Soviet coach responded by benching their world-class goaltender.  When the team trailed late, the coach didn't even pull the goalie to gain an extra attacker on the ice.  They were not used to being behind late in a game.  The players and Brooks were stunned, but they sure were not going to tell the Soviets.  

Miracle captures the essence of the Olympics in 1980 and how the win wasn't simply an upset, but a defining Olympic moment.  The players walk around Lake Placid today and many thank them.  Is this staged?  Possibly, but the sentiments are real.  This week, the gold medal winning Men's Hockey Team faced criticism for visiting the White House and the State of the Union address.  Years ago, such backlash wouldn't have existed.  America was proud of its champions.  They still are. 

day, only 

The Princess Bride (1987) * * *

 

Directed by:  Rob Reiner

Starring: Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Andre the Giant, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage  

The Princess Bride was Rob Reiner's third feature film, and he showed he could handle tricky material.  He was not a director who simply made films in one genre, although his first three films before Misery (1990) were comedies.  He had a deft touch, and The Princess Bride displayed that.  It's an amusing movie which overloads with the cuteness often, but the cast is having a great time and Reiner clearly loves the material. 

Based on William Goldman's book, The Princess Bride begins with a grandfather (Falk) reading a story to his sick grandson (Savage) about a lowly farmhand named Westley (Elwes) who falls in love with Buttercup (Wright) but is soon kidnapped into piracy and feared dead.  Buttercup is then forced into an arranged marriage to Prince Humperdinck (Sarandon), who is itching to go to war with a neighboring nation and plans to murder Buttercup on his wedding night and blame it on his enemies.  This is heavy stuff for a grandpop to read to his grandson, but the kid grows interested after at first dismissing the story out of hand because of all the kissing.  

Westley soon returns to rescue Buttercup and encounters a vengeful Prince Humperdinck, Spanish swordsman (Patinkin) Inigo Montoya, who is seeking vengeance on the man who killed his father, a giant named Fezzik (Andre the Giant, who else?), and a devious genius (Shawn) who may outsmart himself at the worst possible time.  Then there's the six-fingered henchman (Guest) who carries out the prince's orders with glee.  These are colorful characters who try to show off too much color sometimes, but the actors are having a ball with this material.  Reiner expressed how much he loved the book and was stonewalled trying to adapt it into a movie because it doesn't follow traditional medieval story arcs.  The Princess Bride is anything but typical, and in most cases, that's a delightful attribute.     

Psycho Killer (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Gavin Polone

Starring:  Georgina Campbell, James Preston Rogers, Malcolm McDowell, Logan Miller, Grace Dove

The reviews are in!  Psycho Killer is reported to have a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score, meaning every critic who has reviewed it detested it.  I don't know.  Written by Seven and 8MM screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker, Psycho Killer is a creepily effective thriller that sticks with you.  The Satanic Slasher (Rogers) is pure evil, and we root for his demise as Kansas State police officer Jane Archer (Campbell), whose trooper husband was killed by the slasher during a traffic stop, hunts him down.  The FBI is involved, sort of, but tries to warn Jane off the case.  We sense it may not just be jurisdictional. 

Jane, who is also pregnant, will not be deterred as she attempts to track and kill the slasher.  Who is he?  We hear his voice, which is very low-pitched and eerie, but we never see his face.  He wears an old-fashioned gas mask when committing his heinous crimes.  He calls himself Richard Reeves, a mass murderer who killed numerous churchgoers and attempted to blow up the church decades ago and was reported to have been killed in prison.  Is he imitating Reeves?  Idolizing him?  Paying tribute to him?  We don't know the full extent of Reeves' plan but it's awfully diabolical, as you would expect.  

Reeves is a pitiless hulk who consumes painkillers and psychotropic meds as he continues his spree.  He worships Satan and encounters like-minded Satan worshippers led by Malcolm McDowell, who uses his love of Satan to throw orgies, which offends Reeves and you know what happens when Reeves is offended.   Walker specializes in writing movies showing the dark, twisted underbelly of society.  Seven and 8MM were terrific movies partially because of the atmosphere they evoked.  Psycho Killer's atmosphere is decidedly dark and creepy, as you would expect in a movie where the Satanic Slasher is hacking victims from coast-to-coast.  I can't imagine what the critics saw.  Sure, the story is grotesquely gory in spots, but it's compelling and its effects linger.  

 

Cold Storage (2026) * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Jonny Campbell

Starring:  Joe Keery, Georgina Campbell, Liam Neeson, Lesley Manville, Sosie Bacon, Vanessa Redgrave

Cold Storage is a version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with the snatcher being a nasty green fungus which can penetrate just about anything to attach itself to its host.  As Cold Storage opens, a scientist (Bacon) and two military operatives (Neeson and Manville) travel to Australia to find this mysterious fungus which has killed numerous people and animals.  The fungus manages to invade the hazmat suit of the doctor and soon it takes over her body, causing her to explode.  The operatives escape with the sample of the fungus, which is kept in a government lab in the middle of nowhere.

The lab is abandoned sometime later, with the fungus still stored in a vault long forgotten and a storage facility built on top of it.  One night, two employees Travis (Keery) and Naomi (Campbell) encounter strange happenings, such as a deer entering the facility, attacking them, and soon exploding.  Naomi's boyfriend also shows up to confront her about Naomi dumping him and he soon begins acting weird.  Travis and Naomi's boss also comes by with his biker friends and you know the drill by now.

Neeson also reappears after being called into duty to destroy the goo and keep it contained.  Neeson has fun with the role with the other actors understanding that Cold Storage isn't meant to be taken too seriously.  The movie itself is occasionally amusing, with lots of green goo everywhere and all of the villains getting their comeuppance, but it doesn't reach past a certain level of inspiration.  It's ninety minutes that come and go, sometimes slowly, but for those who love this type of movie, you'll get what you came for.  

His & Hers (2026) * *

 

Starring:  Jon Bernthal, Tessa Thompson, Sunita Mani, Chris Bauer, Marin Ireland, Pablo Schreiber, Poppy Liu, Rebecca Rittenhouse, Crystal R. Fox

His & Hers meanders its way through its whodunit plot with sidebars on less interesting topics, such as the relationship between estranged spouses Detective Jack Harper (Bernthal) and Anna (Thompson), a TV news reporter covering a small-town murder of a woman both knew very well.  Jack was having sex with her on the night she was murdered, and Anna knew her from their private school days, although not in the biblical sense.  Jack, of course, would become a prime suspect if it were discovered that he knew the victim intimately.  Anna has demons of her own to deal with, including the death of hers and Jack's infant daughter which causes Anna to disappear from her husband's life for a year.  

There isn't much chemistry between Anna and Jack.  Anna's rival is Lexy (Rittenhouse), the young blonde who is a fast-rising star at Anna's Atlanta news program.  Anna is also sleeping with Lexy's cameraman husband Richard (Schreiber).  Anna also deals with her ailing mother who appears to be in the early stages of dementia, while Jack lives with his alcoholic sister and his niece.  The sister also has school ties to the victim, who of course wasn't an angel.  There is a plethora of characters and subplots which overstuffs the basic murder plot premise. 

Bernthal is normally among the most magnetic of actors, and here he tries a bit too hard to give us down-home folksiness and tends to end his sentences with "yeah?" often enough for it to be noticeable.  Tessa Thompson was never an actress who did it for me.  There is something bland about her which doesn't allow us inside.  I would say maybe it's just this character, but I've noticed that about many of her performances.  

The whodunit itself contains a twist I saw coming and another I didn't.  I suppose I cared just enough to watch for the outcome, but even with six episodes, it takes a long time to get to there.  Or it just feels that way. 

EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Baz Luhrmann

No, EPIC isn't a sequel to Baz Luhrmann's Elvis (2022), but instead of mixture of archive documentary and concert footage Luhrmann discovered during his research of Elvis.  The result reveals Elvis' love of performing and his approachability despite being the biggest musical star of his time (along with The Beatles).  Elvis wouldn't be one of those performers whose show starts at 8pm and he decides to wait until 11pm to stroll on stage.  He took performing seriously, and it showed with the energy he expended.  He wanted to show the audience something new every time.

EPiC's concert footage relies heavily on the Las Vegas shows that were the subject of the 1970 documentary: Elvis: That's the Way It Is.   We also see Elvis rehearsing the songs, giving us an intimate view of his performances.  He, his band, and backing vocalists have undeniable chemistry and they play off each other.  The epilogue tells us that Elvis performed 1,100 shows between 1969 and 1977, sometimes at three shows per day.  He missed live performances which he resumed soon after he was finished with his movie contract.  He didn't much like making movies, as we hear in archive voice footage.  They weren't the best use of his talent.  

EPiC works in the same fashion That's the Way It Is did.  It shows Elvis has an approachable, humble performer.  Did he have his moments where he was a prick?  I'm sure.  Who doesn't?  The drug abuse later took over and caused his untimely 1977 death at age 42, leaving behind a legacy that stands today as a performer who is inimitable, even though of course he has thousands of impersonators.  But there is only one true Elvis Presley.  EPiC gives us one more reason why this is correct and seeing him never gets old.  

Extract (2009) * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Mike Judge

Starring:  Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Kristen Wiig, Clifton Collins, Jr. Mila Kunis, Dustin Milligan, David Koechner, Gene Simmons

Mike Judge, creator of Beavis and Butthead and terrific movie satires like Office Space, gives us an uneven and sometimes funny comedy about people who go out of their way to make things hard on themselves.  Our protagonist is the sexually frustrated owner of a bottling plant who finds himself in lust with new employee Cindy(Kunis) who is secretly involved with one of Joel's employees who was involved in a most-gruesome work-related injury.  Joel is married to Suzie (Wiig), and their marriage has devolved into routine dullness and not much sex.  

Joel's bartender friend Dean (Affleck) poses a solution to Joel's moral dilemma:  Joel doesn't want to outright cheat on Suzie, but if Suzie is seduced by a "gigolo" hired by Joel, then Joel will be free to pursue Cindy because Suzie already cheated.  It's Mike Judge-universe morality and logic writ large, with erratic results.  Joel is being wooed to sell his company, but the workers comp case may hinder that, especially with the employee's ambulance chaser attorney (Simmons) who suggests a bizarre way to have the case dropped.  It involves a door and Joel's testicles.  

Meanwhile, the gigolo posing as a pool boy indeed succeeds in seducing Suzie.  It would've been funnier if the gigolo only thinks he seduced Suzie but maybe seduced the neighbor.  Joel tries to call off the gigolo, who thinks he and Suzie are falling in love.  There are many moving parts in Extract, and the actors are up to the challenge, but the fault lies at the plot or screenplay level.  It's not as funny or stinging as it needs to be, but hey it's better than the overrated Idiocracy.  

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) *

 

Directed by:  Renny Harlin

Starring:  Madelaine Petsch, Richard Brake, Gabriel Basso, Ema Horvath

The Strangers saga comes to a merciful end (hopefully) with Chapter 3.  The opening scenes provided a challenge for me in that I tried in vain to recall anything about Chapter 2.  Chapter 1 wasn't any great shakes, but I do recall it had at least a little suspense to it.  I gave it two stars.  The ensuing sequels don't provide much in the way of suspense.  There are a lot of killings and an attempt to display that our protagonist (Petsch) is somehow transformed into a killer herself thanks to the violence she's endured. We've seen that before too, and it isn't exactly revelatory.

Renny Harlin is a skilled director who is better than this material.  I know, I've seen examples of this.  The movie isn't shoddily made, just pointless and disengaging.  There are ample jump scares for those who go to horror movies to experience those and a lot of blood for those who to go watch that.  Those audience members will get what they came for.  

As for the rest of us, The Strangers, Chapter 3 runs only about ninety minutes and still feels like a slog.  I did admire, for what it's worth, some of creepy performances and I wished they were in the service of a better movie and series.  

Crime 101 (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Bart Layton

Starring:  Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Halle Berry, Monica Barbaro, Tate Donovan, Barry Keoghan, Nick Nolte

Crime 101 lends itself to comparisons to Heat and it wouldn't have it any other way.  We have a thief named Mike (Hemsworth) who does jobs with efficiency and without hurting anyone.  He is in command, knows how to perform the heist with maximum speed and effectiveness, and then disappears onto the 101 freeway.  Grizzled detective Lou Lubesnick (Ruffalo) detects a pattern and tries to convince his bosses that this thief only strikes near the 101 because of its easy access to and from the crime scenes.  

Mike works alone, except for when he retrieves his latest assignments by underworld boss Money (Nolte), and he also lives alone and we sense his need to connect to someone.  After his last attempted jewel heist goes awry, Mike wants out, and a young woman named Maya who meets Mike after rear-ending him in a traffic accident provides the catalyst to come out of his shell.  However, explaining what he does for a living is understandably not part of this change.  His apartment is sleek and stylish, but doesn't feel lived in.  There are no photos of his family.  Maybe he doesn't have one.

Lubesnick is the opposite of Mike.  He smokes, drives an old car, looks like he slept in his clothes, doesn't shave, and his wife is leaving him.  But he's smart and determined.  His superiors just want him to close cases and show little interest in his theory on the "101 robber".  They just want the cases solved.  Even the LAPD has metrics it needs to hit.   However, Mike knows he needs one more big score to retire forever, maybe even with Maya. 

I won't give away further details, but Crime 101 is Heat with a happier ending for its characters.  There is a psychotic criminal (Keoghan) who wants to take over Mike's territory because Money thinks Mike is losing his nerve, but Keoghan's character is unstable in more ways than one.  Crime 101 doesn't strike as deep a nerve as Heat, in which its characters realize they need each other in complex ways.  There were no easy payoffs and most of the people were killed or left behind.  Crime 101 does run a tad too long at 140 minutes, but we wind up caring and that's more than half the battle.  

Solo Mio (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  Charles & Daniel Kinnane    

Starring:  Kevin James, Kim Coates, Jonathan Roumie, Nicole Grimaudo, Alyson Hannigan, Julee Cerda, Andrea Bocelli, Julie Ann Emery

Solo Mio is a lackluster romantic comedy in which there is no new ground covered, which isn't always a bad thing, because romantic comedies tend to follow certain ground rules and rarely deviate from them.  We're on familiar terrain in Solo Mio, in which the likable but introverted Matt (James) is left at the altar by his fiancee Heather (Emery) during their wedding in Italy.  The humiliated Matt decides to take his honeymoon trip alone, since it's already paid for and he can't receive a refund, and naturally he falls in love with a local barista who helps him to come out of his shell.  Will the fiancee return at some point to try and reconnect?  Does a bear do his business in the woods?

Since Solo Mio isn't going to win any points for originality, we have to review how it's made and the energy it brings.  Solo Mio, even with the cast trying its hardest, is flat and limp.  James is as dependable a comic actor as there is, but even he seems weighed down by the material.  There isn't a lot of chemistry between he and the kind Gia (Grimaudo, who could be Catherine Keener's twin).  They're both very nice people indeed, but they just don't click.  The other couples who are part of the honeymoon tours Matt and Heather were supposed to attend as a married couple also intervene in Matt's love life, with their entire existence centered around prodding Matt and Gia toward eternal coupledom.  

Solo Mio (which means mine alone as Gia points out) is not hefty and isn't meant to be.  But it should be more amusing and delightful than it is.  We aren't stirred by the belief that Matt and Gia belong together.  The scenery of Rome and the Tuscan countryside is gorgeous and Andrea Bocelli (who is related to Gia) drops in to play and belt out some songs (and riding a horse). It's a shame these aren't in service of a better movie.  

The Lincoln Lawyer Season 4 (2026) * * 1/2

 

Starring:  Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Neve Campbell, Becky Newton, Angus Sampson, Jazz Raycole, Cobie Smulders, Elliott Gould

The Lincoln Lawyer is still a serviceable courtroom drama series, but it won't elevate into anything greater.  That's fine.  It doesn't need to.  However, this season's case involves Michael Haller (Garcia-Rulfo) on trial for murdering a former client who was found in the back seat of his convertible at the end of last season.  Fast forward to this season, and Haller is in county jail awaiting arraignment while serving as a pro bono attorney for other prisoners.  It's a good way to keep others from messing with you. 

Meanwhile, Haller's pending trial is causing his clients to drop him and his associate/ex-wife Lorna Crane (Newton) to try and scrape for clients just to keep the practice going.  Haller is still equipped with his loyal staff which includes Lorna, investigator Cisco (Sampson), paralegal and part-time driver Izzy (Raycole), and Haller's other ex-wife Maggie (Campbell), who joins the team to defend him in court.  The quasi-family vibe here works well, and the best scenes are the courtroom ones because of the inherent drama involved as Haller tries to defend himself while also figuring out who set him up and why.

Of course, Haller gets away with legal maneuvering that doesn't seem plausible nor would a judge continue to allow it.  Garcia-Rulfo remains a solid lead, but he's not the Michael Haller from the 2011 movie.  That is Matthew McConaughey and McConaughey will continue to be the actor people think of first when The Lincoln Lawyer is mentioned, but Garcia-Rulfo is smart and slick.  Newton is also a standout as the tireless, loyal Lorna, who is married to Cisco and we scratch our heads as to why a spark plug like Lorna would be married to the monosyllabic Cisco whose hygiene is suspect, although he is quite a good investigator.

The case itself doesn't wrap up satisfactorily.  It is anti-climactic with no true stunning developments or a suspect out of left field we didn't anticipate.  Instead, the final moments hint at a crossover with Bosch, which I never saw but I heard was entertaining.  I hope I don't have to catch up on multiple Bosch seasons in order to enjoy next season's Lincoln Lawyer.  Don't make me work so hard. 

Shelter (2026) * *

Directed by:  Ric Roman Waugh

Starring:  Jason Statham, Bill Nighy, Bodhi Rae Breathnach, Naomie Harris

Shelter is the latest in what seems to be the annual Jason Statham action movie dumped into theaters in mid-January.  It will attract his built-in audience, but may not necessarily bring in newbies to the fold.  I didn't dislike Shelter, but it's not anything new or special.  Statham is capable of bringing us stellar action movies like Wrath of Man and even decent ones like A Working Man, but Shelter is strictly Statham by the numbers, which means he kicks a lot of ass, shoots many others, and utters as few words as possible.  

Statham is Mike Mason, a retired (and officially dead) former MI6 assassin who is drawn out of retirement to protect himself and a young girl (Breathnach) from being hunted down by current government killers who are trying to erase him as part of a cover-up.  Mike is a man with a particular set of skills who uses them in lengthy action sequences in which you wonder how his hands aren't killing him after delivering so many punches and how his guns never seem to run out of ammo.  He also develops fatherly instincts for the young girl and emotes as best he can when speaking to her. 

I've seen movies where Statham can deliver some dimensions such as Wrath of Man, The Bank Job, and The Italian Job, and no The Bank Job is not a sequel or prequel to The Italian Job.  He's rarely called on to do so anymore, but he's certainly capable of it.  Instead, we get Shelter, which is competently made but not likely to last long in your memory more than a few hours after seeing it. 

Saturday the 14th (1981) * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Howard R. Cohen

Starring:  Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, Jeffrey Tambor, Severn Darden, Kari Michaelsen, Kevin Brando

I saw Saturday the 14th recently on a B-movie channel for the first time since I saw it in theaters decades ago.  I knew it was a cheap horror comedy, and I didn't expect any Oscar-caliber production values or performances, but maybe it would be amusing and silly.  It's silly, yes, but Saturday the 14th is simply not good even with the low expectations. 

The movie barely clears 75 minutes of running time (thank goodness).  The plot is:  The clueless Hyatt family inherits a spooky house in Eerie, PA (get it?) with the parents John and Mary (real-life married couple Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss) not seeming all that concerned that supernatural goings-on are happening.  Meanwhile, Dracula (I assume that's who he is) and his wife want the house because it contains a book of evil which they want to get a hold of.  Meanwhile, Van Helsing (Darden), a supernatural exterminator, also wants the book for his own nefarious reasons.  Both want to rule the world, although I always thought Van Helsing was supposed to be a hero.   Here is a worse villain than Drac. 

I guess Saturday the 14th was meant to be a spoof, but there aren't any laughs.  There are talented actors in it who are set adrift.  Maybe they thought the project would be fun.  They try.  They really do, but the whole enterprise just doesn't work.   I even tried to view it nostalgically, hoping I could maybe enjoy it on that level.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  

Send Help (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Sam Raimi

Starring:  Rachel McAdams, Dylan O'Brien

Send Help might've been pitched as Misery meets Cast Away.  Instead of one person trapped on a deserted island, there are two and one of them is the other's dickhead boss.  Linda Liddle (McAdams) is an Annie Wilkes-type in a cutthroat corporate world.  She is an accounting whiz at some big company who was promised a promotion by the CEO who soon after dies and his son takes over.  He epitomizes arrogance and cockiness and finds Linda repulsive.  Then again, she does devour tuna fish sandwiches at her desk and according to Bradley has less than desirable personal hygiene.

Bradley and his crew then take a business trip to Thailand and bring Linda along because she knows the client well.  While on board, and shortly after Bradley and his buddies were viewing Linda's Survivor audition video and laughing at it, the plane malfunctions causing it to crash into the ocean.  Linda and Bradley are the only survivors and wash up on shore of a remote island.  Linda puts her survival skills to good use, while Bradley is helpless and injured and relies on Linda to even eat or drink water.  

Because Bradley is Bradley, he grows to resent Linda because he is the boss and shouldn't be relying on Linda to save him.  But then, Bradley and Linda begin to communicate better and respect one another to a point, but Bradley and Linda show their true colors in more ways than one.  Both are not likable.  Linda at first is the more sympathetic of the two, but then we see her darker side.  The McAdams performance walks the tightrope between pathetic, resourceful, and ultimately sneaky evil.  She's very good at balancing it all and still make it plausible. 

O'Brien is a frat bro type who attempts to stretch his boundaries and perhaps turn into a grateful man who sees Linda as valuable, but then again, it's tough to not be a prick when that's who you've been all your life.  Send Help has satirical elements and some of the scenes are unnecessarily gory and blood-soaked (I think of the boar scene and the projectile vomiting later), but Send Help is quite entertaining even if you consider that we're stuck on a deserted island with these two less-than-lovable characters. 

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) * *

 

Directed by:  Rob Reiner

Starring:  Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer, Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal, June Chadwick, Paul Shaffer

Rob Reiner's sad and sudden death in December brought about nearly universal acclaim for his career.  He was a great actor and just as deft a director.  This Is Spinal Tap was his feature film debut in which he played documentary filmmaker Marty DiBerghi, who made a "rockumentary" about a fading British metal band whose glory days were clearly behind them but wanted to keep on rocking even if crowds were dwindling at their concerts.

As much as I hate to say it, This Is Spinal Tap is not among Reiner's best work.  It's sporadically amusing, but not a gut buster.  The humor is subtle, so much so that maybe I missed it.  There are long, droning interviews with the clueless band members, but they don't draw out many laughs.  Reiner's subsequent films like The Sure Thing, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally..., Misery, and A Few Good Men showcased his directing talents more effectively.  It was quite a stretch for Reiner, but I'd have to leave This Is Spinal Tap off of it. 

Spinal Tap pathetically attempts to remain relevant and reclaim their past glory, but a series of poor management decisions and subpar marketing have doomed Spinal Tap to a laughingstock.  One autograph session for their new album "Smell the Glove" draws zero attendees and the event organizer (Shaffer) can only lament what he thought would be a crowd-drawing spectacle.  The band's concerts contain sight gags like drummers simultaneously combusting and band members emerging from pods with bass player Derek Smalls (Shearer) stuck in one for the duration of the opening song.  

The band is unfortunately inept, not at performing necessarily, but about other aspects of the business such as marketing and interviews.  I've stated before that a British accent almost always makes someone sound more intelligent than he or she may actually be.  One could say "2 +2=6" and I'd halfway believe it.   The members of Spinal Tap push that notion to the extreme test.  But based on the movie's reputation, I expected a lot more.  Maybe this is why it took me over forty years to see it for the first time.  

Mercy (2026) * *

 

Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov

Starring:  Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Annabelle Wallis, Kali Reis, Kylie Rogers, Chris Sullivan

Mercy sounds good on paper and for a while it leans into its whodunit premise effectively, but then it flies off the rails and becomes another in a long line of forgettable chase movies.  The movie centers on an LAPD detective who was a proponent of the new "Mercy Court" in which those accused are strapped to a chair and have 90 minutes to reduce their guilty quotient to 92% (which is considered reasonable doubt) by the AI judge who allows the defendant access to any online files, data, and assists with explaining the dizzying rules of the court. 

However, Chris Raven (Pratt) finds himself hung over and strapped to a chair accused of murdering his estranged wife Nicole (Wallis).  Raven swears he's innocent, but the evidence looks damning.  Of course, since he's the hero, we know he didn't do it, which is perfectly fine as Raven attempts to locate the real killer before his 90 minutes runs out and he's executed on the spot.  The AI judge (Ferguson) coldly provides Raven with advice, but soon maybe due to a program defect, she starts to sympathize with Raven, although it isn't made clear how or why except that the screenplay requires it.

I won't give away the ending of Mercy, except to say that it drifts into mindless action territory.  Mercy sounds like it should be a taut, clever thriller and on paper it is, but despite it's relatively short running time, Mercy starts to drag.  It's a concept that ultimately never flourishes into a film worthy of it.  

11.22.63 (2016) * * * *

 

Limited series starring:  James Franco, George MacKay, Chris Cooper, Sarah Gadon, Josh Duhamel, Daniel Webber, T.R. Knight

Time travel is utterly fascinating as a concept and in science-fiction.  11.22.63 explores its possibilities and its limitations and rarely fails to be involving and creative.  Based on Stephen King's novel, 11.22.63 centers around an ordinary man traveling through a time portal to stop Kennedy's assassination.  As 11.22.63 opens, Jake Epping (Franco) is a newly divorced teacher in his hometown of Lisbon, Maine.  He teaches adults at night to acquire their GED's and one story an older student writes about the night his family was murdered by his drunken father stirs Jake.  More on that later. 

Jake frequents Al's diner run by Al Templeton, who reveals to Jake that his closet acts as a time portal which will take him back to the same spot on October 21, 1960.  No earlier, and no later.  Jake tries it and finds he is deposited briefly back in 1960 before being shipped back to the present.  Al reveals some rules which go along with the portal.

*  The portal will only work in Lisbon, Maine and send you back to October 21, 1960.

*  No matter how long you're gone in the past, you'll alone be gone for two minutes in the present day.

*  Your actions create a butterfly effect.  I'm sure you know the theory.

Al used his time in the past to try and prevent Kennedy's assassination.  However, the trip came at a cost.  Al developed cancer in the past and is too sick to continue, so Jake agrees to go along.  Al prepares him for all possibilities, including providing him with cash, a small diary of sporting event outcomes which he can bet on for guaranteed success (a la Back to the Future II), and also information he found in his investigation of Lee Harvey Oswald (Webber) which only took him as far as 1962.  Jake asks why he didn't just kill Oswald.  What if Oswald wasn't acting alone?  Killing him would not solve the puzzle nor necessarily prevent the assassination.

Since Jake has three years to work on this, he is sidetracked by other adventures and people along the way.  Does he travel to his student's hometown in Kentucky to prevent his family's murder?  You bet.  By doing that, though, he gains an unlikely ally in Billy (MacKay), who stumbles across Jake's plan and agrees to assist.  The pair move to Dallas and begin their work.  Jake settles in as a high school teacher who falls for fellow teacher Sadie (Gadon), who is separated from a stalker husband (Knight) who doesn't intend to let go of her so easily.

Spread out over eight engrossing episodes, 11.22.63 plays like a Whack-A-Mole of thrillers.  One problem is solved, the next one pops up.  Franco is centered and focused.   Since he's trying to do what he thinks will be good for the future of the world, we hope he succeeds.  Another question which is answered is:  Will sparing Kennedy automatically bring about a better future?  Just because a horrific event is prevented doesn't mean the rest of history will improve.  

The series has a sense of time and place which never fails to be riveting.  As Jake struggles to keep his eye on his mission, one issue after another which could affect others' future pops up, especially with Sadie.  Why 11.22.63 succeeds so well is how it juggles its subplots and understands the paradoxes and even sets new rules for time travel.  

Runaway Train (1985) * * *

 

Directed by:  Andrei Konchalovsky

Starring:  Jon Voight, Eric Roberts, Rebecaa DeMornay, TK Carter, John P. Ryan, Kenneth McMillan, Kyle T. Heffner

Runaway Train is a prison break story married with a story of a runaway train speeding through the Alaska frontier on a route to nowhere.  The train has three unlikely passengers, prison escapees Manny (Voight) and Buck (Roberts), who think the train will take them to freedom, and Sara (DeMornay), the unfortunate railroad worker caught on the train and eventually in the middle.  Manny and Buck have essentially traded one prison for another, while Sara is herself imprisoned by the situation and by Manny and Buck.  

When Runaway Train opens, Manny is a prisoner at an Alaskan prison where he had just served three years in dark solitary confinement due to a previous escape attempt.  Warden Ranken (Ryan) hates him and releases him to general population in hopes that he'll try to escape again or start a fight, which will give the warden any excuse to kill him.  Buck is a champion prison boxer who hero worships Manny and wants to come along when Manny escapes from prison again. 

Manny and Buck trek through the freezing wilderness and nearly freeze to death before hopping on the train in which the engineer dies of a heart attack during the journey.  The dispatch team tries in vain to derail or slow the train down, but there is little hope of stopping it.  Meanwhile, Ranken wants nothing more than the opportunity to kill Manny himself, even if it means flying a helicopter over the speeding locomotive.  To Ranken, his hatred for Manny is so personal that it overshadows even common sense or self-preservation.

Runaway Train is at its heart an adventure story with the wounded Manny and Buck at the forefront.  Voight and Roberts received Oscar nominations for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor, respectively, playing generally unlikable, unsympathetic people but still allowing us enough room to hope they can grow or at least be better people.  Manny is more realistic about his chances on the outside than Buck, who dreams of a more fanciful life that likely won't come to an ex-convict, assuming he's not caught or killed.  We see the anger in them and each other, as if hopelessness is part of their daily routine.  

The movie concludes more or less as expected and it only reaches a certain level of power, but it works on the level of adventure which breaks up the bleakness. 

The Rip (2026) * * *

 

Directed by:  Joe Carnahan

Starring:  Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Steven Yeun, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Teyana Taylor, Kyle Chandler, Scott Adkins, Sasha Calle, Lina Esco

The Rip is a quickly paced suspense thriller with enough tricks and twists up its sleeve to cover two movies.  It relies on the star power and chemistry of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as Miami cops faced with a $20 million haul in drug money stashed in a Hialeah, Florida suburban home.  When Damon's Dane Dumars receives a tip of the stash, he assembles his team including Sgt. JD Byrne (Affleck) to search the home belonging to Desi (Calle) and finds much more cash than they bargained for.  Desi claims ignorance, but we know she may be lying.  

But let's backtrack.  The Rip begins with the murder of Miami police captain Jackie Velez (Esco), who is speaking to an unknown person on her phone promising to get the person out.  Velez' team is interrogated, including Dane and JD, who was in a relationship with Jackie.  Tensions are already running high when Dane receives the anonymous tip about the money, but soon as the crew is counting the stash and each undergoes temptations to steal some of the dough, more harrowing developments occur (none of which I'll recap here).  One of the joys of The Rip is watching its suspenseful reveals unfold.  

The Rip concludes as you would expect with chases and gunfire.  That's to be expected of the genre.  Damon and Affleck naturally have an unforced repartee, and they completely immerse themselves in their characters, making seemingly stock characters into something more.  The movie itself teems with energy and we care about the outcome.  Questions pop up.  Who can be trusted?  The cops here wouldn't be human if they weren't at least tempted to pocket some of the cash.  One of two packs could put their kids through college.  Then, we need to find out who murdered Jackie and why.  Was it a cartel or was it cops?  I don't know how much I buy the cartel telling Dane and JD that they want no parts of the $20 million nor their explanation as to why they don't.

With those minor quibbles aside, The Rip is more absorbing than you'd expect from a crime thriller.  It's not just a mindless starring vehicle for Damon and Affleck to reunite on screen, it works because it creates suspense and even a sense of dread especially when you notice the cul-de-sac where the house is located is eerily vacant.  But I won't bring up any more surprises.  

I Love You, Man (2009) * * *

Directed by:  John Hamburg

Starring:  Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones, JK Simmons, Lou Ferrigno,  Jane Curtin, Andy Samberg, Jon Favreau, Jamie Pressly

Pater (Rudd) is going to be married to Zooey (Jones) and all is well with their relationship.  However, the wedding is approaching and Peter doesn't have a best man on tap, mostly because he doesn't have any male friends.  He is a gay brother (Samberg), who I would think would be a serviceable choice, but I Love You Man tells the story of Peter's quest for a friend.  Zooey has numerous friends.  Peter is being set up on lunches with potential male friends which take on a gay vibe in some instances.

Then Peter meets Sydney Fife (Segel) during Peter's open house trying to sell Lou Ferrigno's Beverly Hills mansion.  Sydney doesn't want to buy the house, he just came for the free food and drink and openly tells Peter so.  Peter admires Sydney's honesty and the two hit it off, especially when Peter learns Sydney is as big a Rush fan as he is.  Zooey at first is happy that Peter found a friend, but then Peter starts spending a lot more time with Sydney than Zooey would like, causing expected conflicts and perhaps threatening the upcoming wedding.

Peter is a generally nice guy who just isn't cool.  He's just awkward albeit in an innocent way.  (Watch him playing poker, where he wins much to the chagrin of the more experienced players at the table).  He and Sydney are two peas in a pod, and the more we get to know Sydney, we sense he's a lonely man himself who doesn't make friends as easily as you would expect.  Rudd and Segel have comic chemistry and yes the movie delves into corny territory on occasion, but we find ourselves caring about Peter and Sydney and hope these lonely guys can stay friends.  

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  Nia DaCosta

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Jack O'Connell, Alfie Williams, Erin Kellyman, Chi Louis-Parry

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple continues the stories of last summer's 28 Years Later with the focus on the two more interesting characters, the humane Dr. Ian Kelson (Fiennes) and the evil, twisted Jimmy Crystal (O'Connell) who cross paths although in a way which doesn't exactly compel the viewer.  The payoff isn't much to write home about, with occasional cameos by zombies who attack the living and wind up getting bludgeoned or if the zombie wins, detach the victim's head and spine from his body.

The zombies are more or less the video game portion of the movie.  However, Dr. Kelson's arc involves Samson (Louis-Parry) and his quest to use him as a guinea pig for his cure.  After injecting Samson, the two slowly gain trust in each other and Samson grows more human again.   Samson is still walking around naked with his Dirk-Diggler-esque manhood on full display.  The other story involves Crystal and his band of teenagers all of which are renamed Jimmy, one being Spike (Williams), the teen from the first film who was introduced to killing zombies by his father.  Spike, of course, witnesses truly horrific actions by Crystal and his group, and is soon traumatized and intimidated enough into joining Crystal's group.  

I admired the Fiennes and O'Connell performances and appreciated the irony that Jimmy Crystal saw Dr. Kelson as Satan, referring to him as "Old Nick" which the good doctor uses to his advantage at the movie's conclusion.  But The Bone Temple is now the fourth installment in this series and they aren't getting any more intriguing.  The movie and series are meant to be downers, which I can tolerate, but I've found them mostly boring.  Even the reintroduction of a major character from the first two films doesn't move the needle much. 

Primate (2026) * *

 

Directed by:  Johannes Roberts

Starring:  Troy Kotsur, Johnny Sequoyah, Gia Hunter

The prologue of Primate discusses the evolution of the term rabies and we know that the lovable chimpanzee in Primate named Ben will transform into a homicidal killer who stalks his victims in the dark.  Primate is a mostly unpleasant slasher film with gallons of blood spilled and a chimpanzee as the killer.

As Primate opens, we find college-age girls coming home to her family in which Ben is adopted by author Adam (Kotsur-the Oscar winner from CODA) who goes away on a book tour for a few days soon after Ben is bit by a rabid mongoose.  Adam hires a veterinarian to give Ben a rabies shot, but Ben thrashes him and goes on the prowl.  Lucy (Sequoyah) and her sister Erin (Hunter) try to calm the violent Ben down and hope to find signs of the old Ben in there, but that is soon revealed to be a fool's errand.  Ben is soon the primate Michael Myers with an insatiable bloodlust. 

The prime issue we have with Primate is that I felt sorry for Ben, who was turned so horrible due to circumstances he couldn't control.  I would've found it more dramatic and satisfying if there were still traces of the old Ben in there somewhere, and maybe a kill is met with ambivalence and even regret.  However, that is not the audience Primate was made for, but I think the filmmakers would be surprised if their audience looked for some more depth too. 

Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) * * * 1/2

Directed by: Blake Edwards

Starring:  Peter Sellers, Dyan Cannon, Robert Loggia, Robert Webber, Burt Kwouk, Tony Beckley, Herbert Lom

I'm flabbergasted that I neglected to review Revenge of the Pink Panther, which is the funniest of the Pink Panther series and the last one made in Peter Sellers' lifetime.  Sellers returns as the bumbling, inept, but accidentally successful Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau, who this time is causing a disruption in the French connection drug organization led by Douvier (Webber), who I believe is supposed to be French but is played by American Robert Webber with an American accent.  No matter, it's better and less distracting that way.  Sellers is the only one with a ridiculous French accent and that's how it's supposed to be.

Douvier wants Clouseau out of the way and for a time, it appears to the world he was successful, but Clouseau finds a way to keep on keeping on with his unbelievably good fortune.  His manservant Cato (Kwouk) turns Clouseau's apartment into a brothel not even 24 hours after Clouseau's reported passing, but once Clouseau returns, he and Cato team with Douvier's jilted mistress Simone (Cannon) to bring down the French connection.  How?  Not that the plot necessarily matters, but Clouseau poses as a New York mobster during a meeting with Douvier in Hong Kong wearing the most ridiculous and hilarious mobster disguise you've ever seen.  Clouseau wears disguises that draw attention to him rather than allow him to pass through peacefully, but Clouseau believes nonetheless in their brilliance. 

What makes Clouseau such a rich comic character is his unshakable belief in his own competence.  He is right twice a day like your average broken clock, but others like his former boss Dreyfuss (Lom) who hated him enough to utilize a doomsday device in The Pink Panther Strikes Again in order to eliminate Clouseau.  Clouseau and the rest of the world must have amnesia, because the people in this movie forget the events of the last one (where the device actually made Dreyfuss disappear) and has Dreyfuss reinstated upon Clouseau's death and has him deliver the eulogy (which causes Dreyfuss to break out in unintentional laughter). 

The Pink Panther series wasn't meant to be a bastion of realism anyway.  From its inception in 1963, the series has improved with each film and Revenge of the Pink Panther represents the hilarity zenith of the franchise.  Trail of the Pink Panther and Curse of the Pink Panther don't count by the way. 

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera (2025) * *

 

Directed by:  Christian Gudegast

Starring:  Gerard Butler, O'Shea Jackson Jr.

The original Den of Thieves (2018) was a crime thriller with several twists and a dynamic character in Nick O'Brien (Butler), the cheerfully corrupt cop on the trail of bank robbers looking to rob the Federal Reserve in Los Angeles.  Nick wants to bust the thieves and counts on informant Donnie Wilson (Jackson Jr) to assist him.  It turns out after a Heat-like shootout that Donnie was the mastermind behind the crime and escapes scot-free to England where he's planning his next heist.

As Den of Thieves 2 opens, Big Nick is still salty about Donnie getting the best of him and tracks him down following footage of a heist somewhere in Europe.  Nick doesn't want to bust Donnie, though, but instead wants him to take him along on his next job so Nick can rake in enough of the fortune to retire on.  Donnie is awfully trusting.  A cop he burned years ago in LA finds him and wants to join him in thievery, and Donnie doesn't suspect a plot is afoot?  Donnie doesn't strike me as someone so willfully blind to Nick's intentions, especially since he's good at accents and pretending to be a French businessman to infiltrate the Diamond Center which is where he and Pantera (a group of criminals) will be targeting.

I won't go into specifics, except to say that the heist itself is Donnie and Nick climbing up and down ropes and scuttling around in the darkness to break into safety deposit boxes.  It's the 2020's.  Haven't they heard of cyber theft?  It's a lot easier, so I'm told.  You can just sit at a computer and steal untold fortunes.  If this doesn't happen, then why do we hear so often about data breaches from major corporations who have no idea how their firewalls were breached.  

Den of Thieves 2 is a bloated two hours, twenty five minutes, similar to the first one, but the majority of the movie is killing time until we wait for the twist which isn't really a big one as far as Big Reveals go.  

Is This Thing On? (2025) * *

 

Directed by:  Bradley Cooper

Starring:  Will Arnett, Laura Dern, Bradley Cooper, Andra Day, Sean Hayes, Peyton Manning, Christine Ebersole, Ciaran Hinds

Is This Thing On? makes stand-up comedy seem to be the easiest hobby to take up.  It certainly works out that way for Alex Novak (Arnett), a 40ish man recently separated from his wife Tess (Dern) who one night decides to watch some comedy at a Manhattan comedy club.  He doesn't have the cash on him to pay for the $15.00 cover charge but if he signs up for the open mike night, he won't have to pay it.  

Alex takes the stage and after a long pause, he starts talking about his divorce and gets a few laughs.  From there, Alex is hooked on performing stand-up, not only as a hobby but as therapy.  Alex is the beneficiary of awfully patient and forgiving audiences to be sure.  The worst reception he receives is silence later in the film when he goes on a rant after fighting again with his ex and the shocked crowd doesn't quite know how to respond, including Alex's father (Hinds) who drops in unannounced.  Earlier in the film, Tess goes to the club on a date with a colleague (Manning) and learns of Alex's new passion the hard way.  We see closeups of her face and her expressions range from shock to elation.  Then, she and Alex meet up outside and begin a passionate love affair. 

For reasons known only to them, Tess and Alex keep their "affair" a secret.  Why?  Who knows?  By the time this occurs, we don't much care either.  Writer/producer/director and co-star Bradley Cooper knows how to make a movie look good and pulls very engaging performances from his actors, but with both Maestro and Is This Thing On?, the movies drag on.  The emotional stakes aren't there.  When Alex first takes the stage and takes an eternity to even utter a word, the crowd doesn't heckle or show any impatience.  Alex is never heckled or booed.  I'll bet every comedian wishes he or she encountered such patient audiences when they first started out.  

The best performance in the movie, however, belongs to Cooper in a supporting role as Balls (yes, that's his name), a middling actor whose beard is always changing and composes himself in an offbeat manner.  He's operating on a different playing field than the rest of the cast, and the movie sorely needed more of him. 

We Bury the Dead (2025) * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Zak Hilditch

Starring:  Daisy Ridley, Brenton Thwaites, Matt Whelan, Mark Coles Smith

We Bury the Dead contains elements which almost transcend the fact that it is indeed a zombie apocalypse movie.  In this case, it's only confined to Tasmania and not the entire world, but the atmosphere is sufficiently creepy as you would expect.  Despite this, zombies aren't interesting villains and they are picked off like video game targets.   

Daisy Ridley plays Ava, a recently married woman whose husband is traveling on business to Tasmania (of all places) when an electro-magnetic weapon detonates off the coast and instantly kills the island's population.  The living become the dead in milliseconds, and are either frozen in place or just fall to the ground.  Ava comes to the island ostensibly to join crews searching for victims so they could be properly buried, but it turns out some of the dead randomly came back as zombies.  If Ava and her search partner Clay (Thwaites) find a zombie, they are to shoot off a flare which will alert the military to put a bullet in the zombie's head.  What if the troops aren't in the exact area?  A small quibble, but an important one.

Ava decides to light out to the coastal resort hotel where her husband Mitch (Whelan) was staying at the time of the disaster.  Flashbacks reveal marriage troubles caused mostly by Ava's cheating, and part of Ava's journey is hopefully to try and rectify her guilt in some way, even though Mitch is likely dead or at best zombified.  On the way, her life is saved by a military officer (Smith) who has secrets of his own, including a zombie pregnant wife.  Ava's marriage problems began with their disagreement over having children.  You can easily put two and two together.

The performances work, with Ridley providing enough gravitas for us to understand that there will be no happy ending for her as far as Mitch is concerned.  She is grieving and guilty, with Ridley giving us room to sympathize.  With all of this said, We Bury the Dead is a near-miss, mostly because we've seen plenty of movies (as recently as 28 Years Later) in which zombies lumber towards the heroes and have their heads blown off.  Zombie movies have been action movies, heavy dramas, and even comedies, but the end result for the zombies is the same.  

Click (2006) * * *

 

Directed by: Frank Coraci

Starring:  Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, David Hasselhoff, Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner, Christopher Walken, Sean Astin

Click stars Adam Sandler as an overworked architect and harried family man who visits Bed, Bath, and Beyond one night in search of a universal remote control for his television.  What he receives is a "universal remote" but one that will control his universe and not just the TV.  He can mute the dog if he's barking too loud, fast forward past uncomfortable confrontations, and wants a promotion so bad he fast forwards to the point in his life when he finally receives it...one year later.  

Sandler's Michael Newman is forever torn between work and family, with family usually taking a back seat to his work ambitions.  Morty (Walken), the helpful but sinister clerk in the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond who introduces Michael to the remote shows Michael the features including segments in which James Earl Jones can narrate Michael's life.  Some of this is amusing while the other slapstick gags fall flat, but the best parts are when Click turns sentimental and Michael learns the cost of his choices with the remote.  He misses out on years of his life and various events.  He wakes up one day to learn he is divorced and another day he learns his father passed.  Other issues come up which blindside Michael and Morty can only stand by and tell Michael that his life was the sum of his choices. 

Sandler's Michael is an amiable fellow whose pressures are relatable while Beckinsale, as Michael's long-suffering wife Donna, is also in an unenviable position.  Click is a mixed bag with the humor Sandler made his bones from and sentimentality which works better.  Sandler is an actor capable of depth, and we've seen it in previous movies and others following Click.  We see the beginning of an evolution here, and some of it is pretty moving. 

Nobody Wants This (2024/25-Seasons 1 and 2) * * *

 

Starring:  Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, Timothy Simons, Justine Lupe, Jackie Tohn, Tovah Feldshuh, Paul Ben-Victor, Stephen Tobolowsky, Arian Moayed, Seth Rogen

Nobody Wants This started slowly and then grew on me.  What started as a typical mismatched couple romcom became richer and more intriguing as the episodes went on.  The supporting players gained more depth and focus.  The conflicts, mostly caused by Noah's (Brody) potential ascension to senior rabbi at his temple and the need for Joanne (Bell) to convert to Judaism, take on weight.  I was reminded of the Sex and the City episodes in which Charlotte fully converted to Judaism in order to marry Harry.  Charlotte was certain of her choice, while Joanne is wishy-washy on the subject because she is not fully informed on what being a rabbi's wife will entail.

Joanne and her sister Morgan (Lupe) host a sex and relationship podcast which apparently makes them both pretty good money.  Noah and Joanne meet at a party and they are attracted to one another, even though Joanne is a self-proclaimed agnostic and Noah is a rabbi.  Joanne at first thinks Noah can't have sex, but he assures her he's not a priest so rabbis can have relationships.  In the first season, Noah's meddlesome family does its best (except for Noah's brother Sasha) to keep Noah and Joanne apart since the thought of a rabbi having a non-Jewish girlfriend is unacceptable in their eyes.  Especially since Noah recently broke off a long-time relationship with a Jewish woman they all assumed would become Mrs. Noah.  

In season two, however, Noah's family becomes more accepting but there is still the lingering question of whether Joanne will convert.  Noah leaves his temple after being passed over for the senior rabbi position due to the uncertainty surrounding Joanne, and he finds what he thinks will be a godsend in a progressive temple run by Rabbi Neil (Rogen), but he finds he doesn't like the job even though it will allow him to be with Joanne without her converting to Judaism.  The final episode of the season contains three potential breakups and intriguing story arcs from there. 

Bell and Brody are a likable couple but Nobody Wants This also succeeds with its supporting cast who were thankfully allowed more to do as the series moves on instead of simply existing to either support or ruin Joanne and Noah.  

Song Sung Blue (2025) * * *

Directed by:  Craig Brewer

Starring:  Hugh Jackman, Kate Hudson, Michael Imperioli, Ella Anderson, Jim Belushi, Fisher Stevens

Like Dolemite Is My Name and Hustle and Flow, Craig Brewer creates another movie about ordinary people using art to rise above their station in life and give themselves temporary fame.  Mike "Lightning" Sardina (Jackman) and his wife Claire "Thunder" Sardina (Hudson) met during a concert of musical impersonators where Mike covers Don Ho's Tiny Bubbles and Claire does her best Patsy Cline.  Mike, a recovering alcoholic celebrating this 20th year sober, wants more.  Claire suggests he alter his hair style and sing Neil Diamond songs.  Mike, who holds Diamond above all others in the musical hierarchy, at first wouldn't dare insult Diamond by trying to impersonate him, but then decides to go for it.  

Because Jackman and Hudson are great singers, they give the musical performances a lot of gusto, even though we tire of hearing Sweet Caroline over and over.  Like Mike says, Neil Diamond is more than Sweet Caroline.  I would've loved to have heard America, Love on the Rocks, Hello Again, and even You Don't Bring Me Flowers, but none of those are heard.  Song Sung Blue, based on a true story and a 2008 documentary about the couple, is like many biopics in that it isn't meant to be taken as gospel.  Many of the events of the film were truncated into a few years when in fact the story lasted over a decade.  Thunder and Lightning became Milwaukee institutions, even opening for Pearl Jam when they played Milwaukee. 

I didn't exactly research the back story, but I'm sure there are exaggerations and dramatic license galore taken.  While it is true that Claire lost part of her leg in a freak accident, I'm not sure how much I buy another car nearly hitting her again in the exact same spot in front of her home, which sparks her out of her doldrums and inspires her to take up singing with Mike again.  Jackman and Hudson are terrific performers and their spirit makes Song Song Blue worthwhile, although it does help to be a Neil Diamond fan. 

Escape from Alcatraz (1979) * * * 1/2

 

 

Directed by:  Don Siegel

Starring:  Clint Eastwood, Patrick McGoohan, Fred Ward, Jack Thibeau, Roberts Blossom, Paul Benjamin, Larry Hankin, Bruce M. Fischer, Frank Ronzio

Frank Morris (Eastwood) is sentenced to spend the rest of his sentence in Alcatraz federal penitentiary circa 1962 after escaping from other prisons,  Upon his first meeting with Warden Dollison (McGoohan), Dollison tells Morris that "no one has ever escaped from Alcatraz, and no one ever will,"  The warden thinks this is a deterring sentence.  Morris takes it as a challenge and spends the rest of his time there digging through the prison's weakened walls and with help of fellow prisoners John and Clarence Anglin (Ward and Thibeau), devising a plan to escape Alcatraz.  

Of course, even if they get beyond the walls, they need to get off the island and swim one mile plus to the mainland in freezing, choppy waters.  The escape is a fool's errand, but the prisoners figure it beats the alternative of spending the rest of their days in prison.  Morris' file lists him as having a superior intellect, and he also finds a way to be handy with the small tools on hand, many of which are helpfully available in the prison's woodworking facility.  One of the prisoners, Doc (Blossom) is a skilled painter whose painting privileges are removed by the sadistic warden and decides to chop off his own fingers in response.  I think providing hardened, violent criminals with access to a hatchet is probably a bad idea. 

Eastwood's Frank Morris is a strong, silent man of few words but who is always observing and thinking.  He's so smart, we wonder how he's not a scientist working to cure diseases instead of a lifelong criminal, but Escape from Alcatraz is based on a true story of three prisoners who indeed escaped The Rock in 1962.  There whereabouts from there were never determined.  Were they likely drowned in the bay?  No matter, the escapes led to Alcatraz being closed forever in 1963 and turned into a popular tourist attraction.  

Eastwood's innate intelligence makes Morris compelling, and most of the movie captures the rhythms of daily prison life where Tollison runs a tight ship and Morris evades the advances of rapist Wolf (Fischer), who has chosen Morris to be his future victim, which of course ain't going to happen to Morris.  Escape from Alcatraz is populated with perhaps the most likable group of violent criminals in movie history until The Shawshank Redemption came along fifteen years later.  But, Escape from Alcatraz is told with suspenseful skill and we find ourselves rooting against the warden, whose job is to "make good prisoners, not good citizens," and is actually on the right side of the law.  Then again, so was Sheriff Buford T. Justice and we found ourselves enjoying the Bandit making a fool out of him.