Uncharted (2022) * *

Directed by:  Ruben Fleischer

Starring:  Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle

Uncharted wants to work in the Indiana Jones tradition, but Indiana Jones it isn't.  Indiana Jones never chased something as mundane as lost gold, but instead something with historic or religious implications and far more gravitas than lost treasure.    I find myself not growing all that excited about whether Nathan Drake (Holland) and his partner Sully (Wahlberg) find Magellan's lost ships which house billions in gold.   If they find it...great.   If not...great.   There isn't much at stake here.

We start in Boston fifteen years ago.   Nathan and his older, more adventurous brother Sam are orphanage residents until Sam flies the coop, promising to come back for his younger brother.   Fast forward to present day, Nathan is a New York bartender who lifts jewelry from unsuspecting patrons.   Nathan is approached by Victor "Sully" Sullivan with an offer to chase after Magellan's lost treasure which Sully and Nathan's brother Sam once pursued to no avail.   Nathan reluctantly goes along mostly in hopes of finding his brother who, depending on who you listen to, is either dead or just missing.   

Their search hinges on finding and gaining possession of two bejeweled crucifixes while eluding billionaire Santiago Moncada (Banderas) and his enforcer Jo Braddock (Gabrielle).   Another player enters the mix in Chloe Frazer (Ali), who could be Nathan's love interest in a different movie, but alas serves as a frenemy to Nathan and Sully.

Uncharted hops all over the world from New York to Barcelona to the Philippines with the usual litany of chases, fights, and near misses along the way.   Holland and Wahlberg are likable heroes, mostly because we rely on their screen personas to make up for what little characterization they are provided.   The villains aren't very villainous and we are left with aerial stunts and sets aided heavily by CGI.   All of this is sufficiently executed without much excitement for the viewer.   The end credits promise a sequel, but there was just barely enough energy to pull this off the first time. 

Death on the Nile (2022) * *

 

Directed by:  Kenneth Branagh

Starring:  Kenneth Branagh, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Emma Mackey, Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Ali Fazal, Russell Brand, Jennifer Saunders, Letitia Wright, Sophie Okonedo, Dawn French, Rose Leslie

Kenneth Branagh loves to edge toward the theatrical in his version of Death on the Nile, his second outing as Belgian super sleuth Hercule Poirot.   His Murder on the Orient Express worked on its own terms.  Death on the Nile takes a while to get going, mostly because Branagh is interested in presenting us back stories as to why he wears that mustache and how the married couple honeymooning on the Nile River came to meet.   The original version of Death on the Nile (1978) didn't have much time for such expositions.   With style and a certain tautness, the 1978 film starring Peter Ustinov as Poirot started on the boat and jumped right into the murder mystery.

In Branagh's version, the mystery begins when we are introduced to an engaged couple cutting the rug at a London nightclub.   They are Simon Doyle (Hammer) and Jacqueline de Bellefort (Mackey), who appear to be very much in love until Simon is introduced to Jacqueline's friend, heiress Linette Ridgeway (Gadot).  Linette knows how to make an entrance and soon Simon is enthralled as they dance a naughty number while Jacqueline looks on helplessly.   Six weeks later, Simon and Linette are married and Jacqueline assumes the role of stalker to the glamourous couple.   

The wedding party is one which shouldn't be invited to a wedding.   They include a doctor who is Linette's former fiance (Brand), Poirot's friend Bouc (Bateman), Bouc's disapproving mother (Bening), a Communist sympathizer and her nurse (Saunders, French), Bouc's girlfriend (Wright) and her blues singer mother (Okonedo), and Linette's shady accountant cousin (Fazal).   

Linette is soon found murdered following a spat between Simon and Jacqueline in which Jacqueline shoots her former fiance in the leg.   Poirot is on the case; a man who is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.   His keen instincts and observations allow him to pick up on clues others wouldn't.  A prologue from World War I, while mostly unnecessary, shows us Poirot's genius while filling in the blanks on his romantic history with the woman whose picture he mourned over in Orient Express.

A pall is cast over Death on the Nile, as well as significant CGI, which makes it a less fun whodunit.  Branagh is surely capable, but he prefers to play Poirot as a sad man with Regrets and Secrets.   He doesn't have Ustinov's knack for relishing in toying with each suspect's guilt as they are gathered for the inevitable climax in which the murderer is revealed.   How Poirot is able to convince the guilty party that he or she will hang for the crime leaves out a clever bluff from the 1978 film.   

What we have is a capably made murder mystery which leaves out the most important aspect which makes it intriguing for the viewer:  a sense of humor and joy.  

Flight (2012) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Robert Zemeckis

Starring:  Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Don Cheadle, Bruce Greenwood, Brian Geraghty, Kelly Reilly

Experienced pilot Whip Whitaker (Washington) pulls a plane out of a nosedive by flipping it upside down and instead of the entire plane perishing in a horrific crash, six people are killed in a maneuver and relatively soft crash that nearly a dozen pilots could not duplicate in simulations.   Whip made the right call and did the best thing possible under harrowing circumstances.   One big problem:  Whip was hung over after a three-day bender involving copious amounts of drugs and drink.   He is an alcoholic, but he isn't ready to admit that yet or do anything about it.   Not even after spending time in a hospital following the accident or even though the crash is under federal investigation.   He'll drink again the first chance he gets.  

Flight is a gripping portrait of an alcoholic who reaches the point where "he has no lies left in him".  He works his ass off to sidestep this moment and alienates his family and friends in the meantime.   His loyal union rep (Greenwood) works with the airline's attorney (Cheadle) to have his positive alcohol and drug test thrown out due to a potentially faulty breathalyzer.   This may save him from serving time in prison, but it sure won't help his underlying problems.   It will simply exacerbate them and enable him to keep using.  

Denzel Washington's performance will stir up the gamut of emotions any alcoholic or loved ones of an alcoholic have dealt with often.   He half-heartedly tries to stay sober and even befriends a fellow alcoholic (Reilly) in the hospital.  Whip attends an AA meeting and finds it isn't his scene, mostly because those attending at least attempt to deal with their problem and Whip can't be bothered to be that introspective.   Whip can be charming and charismatic, but is in the grips of something he can't control. Even losing his son's respect isn't enough to shake him loose from drinking.

Flight features one of Washington's best performances, which is saying something if you take into account his extensive and stellar career.   Flight also complements Washington with a deep roster of strong supporting roles and actors to match, including John Goodman as Whip's drug dealer who provides him the right drug to shake him from his hangover minutes before he testifies at a federal hearing.   Flight was also the first live-action movie Robert Zemeckis made since Cast Away (2000) and this is a director who rarely missteps.   Flight is a powerful, true examination of a problem which itself won't go away on its own and doesn't care how great a pilot you are.  

  

Moonfall (2022) * 1/2

Directed by:  Roland Emmerich

Starring:  Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Charlie Plummer, Michael Pena, Donald Sutherland, Eme Ikwuakor

Moonfall is Independence Day meets The Day After Tomorrow.  This only proves Roland Emmerich, the modern-day Irwin Allen, is doubling back on himself.   Moonfall is the latest Emmerich movie in which the world is in imminent danger of perishing.   This time it's because the moon is out of orbit, albeit not by natural forces.  Cut to conspiracy theorist K.C. Houseman (Bradley), who believes the moon isn't a moon at all, but a "megastructure" built by aliens which is actually hollow.   Like a broken clock, Houseman is discovered to be correct.  

The moon being out of orbit will cause the moon to crash into the Earth, but before that, pieces of the celestial body will crumble due to Earth's gravity and fall to Earth.   This is one of many times the movie stops dead in its tracks to explain its plot developments.   By the time our heroes fly a mission to the moon to take out the evil alien force which built it, I was long past caring.  

The alien force is a swarm of goo first encountered by astronauts Brian Harper (Wilson) and Jo Fowler (Berry) on a space satellite repair mission which resulted in the death of their colleague.   Since Jo was knocked out after being bumped around inside the spacecraft, Brian is left to explain that this giant caviar-looking swath is responsible for his friend's death.   Harper is publicly shamed and fired by NASA, only to be begged by Jo years later to fly with her to save the planet.  

Harper has Fallen On Hard Times and has a teenage son recently arrested for stealing a car.   All of this flies out the window when word that the moon's shifted orbit will bring about Doomsday in roughly three weeks.  Pieces of the moon crash land onto the planet's surface with surprisingly cheesy visual effects.  It is amazing electrical grids last long enough for CNN and other television outlets provide updates.  Unlike the recent Don't Look Up, the people of the Earth listen and seek higher ground including Brian's son, Sonny (Plummer).   Sonny's misadventures in the Rocky Mountains are their own subplot which is equally as dull as the main plot. 

In Moonfall, it appears other nations of the world do not have their own equivalent of NASA, but I know for a fact Russians and Chinese have sent people into space.   But no, only three Americans, including a chubby nerd with no space experience, are the ones tasked for saving the world.   All the eggs are thrown into that basket.   Maybe there was an explanation for this and I just zoned out, which I'm sure happened more often than not in Moonfall.  

Jennifer 8 (1992) * * 1/2

 

Directed by:  Bruce Robinson

Starring:  Andy Garcia, Uma Thurman, Lance Henriksen, Kathy Baker, Graham Beckel, John Malkovich, Kevin Conway

The word "serviceable" keeps popping up in my mind as I think of Jennifer 8.   The plot, performances, and the movie itself follow in lockstep with what we would expect from movies of this genre, but it never rises to greatness or even very-goodness.   This is quite a cast in a serial-killer suspense picture which doesn't quite match their efforts.   There is also a love story we could do without which doesn't surprise us in the least.   When you have two attractive leads, why not just have them fall in love?

Detective John Berlin (Garcia) is a former LA cop recovering from a bad marriage who moves to a small town to join his brother-in-law Fred Ross (Henriksen) on the town's force.   Berlin soon encounters a cold-case file of a murdered girl and digs through a landfill to find body parts including a severed hand with worn down fingers.  Berlin deduces the victim was blind (the fingers were used to read Braille) and soon Berlin is on the trail of a serial killer.   Other victims' cold cases are discovered and Berlin and Ross visit an institute for the blind where he interviews Helena, the roommate of one of the victims.  Berlin is Instantly Attracted to the fragile and frightened Helena.   He falls for her, which is not something a detective should do with a witness who is part of a criminal investigation.

Berlin's and Helena's romance is by rote and almost feels thrown in because that's what happens in movies like this.   Helena is doubtlessly the next intended victim unless Berlin can stop the killer.  During a late night stakeout of the institute, Berlin and Fred have a run-in with the killer resulting in Fred being killed and Berlin being questioned by the hard-ass agent St. Anne (Malkovich) and accused of murdering Fred.   We are never told whether St. Anne is FBI, Internal Affairs, or from some other agency.   The scene between Malkovich and Garcia is well done with enough tension to make us wonder why there isn't more where that came from.

The resolution of all this is a scene of cheap trickery which doesn't stand up to much scrutiny.  What we're led to believe is one woman would deliberately put herself in harm's way to set the killer up to be ambushed.   What if he caught up to her before the ambush could take place?   It's a lot to ask of someone.  

Along Came a Spider (2001) * * *

 

Directed by:  Lee Tamahori

Starring:  Morgan Freeman, Monica Potter, Billy Burke, Michael Wincott, Penelope Ann Miller, Michael Moriarty, Jay O. Sanders

Morgan Freeman returns as Agent Alex Cross in Along Came a Spider, which follows the successful formula of Kiss the Girls as Cross deduces what's happening and finds clues where no one else can.  His sixth or seventh sense borders on absurdity at times, but it's fun to watch.   In Along Came a Spider, Cross is called out of a self-imposed retirement (after a botched operation causes the death of his partner) to locate a kidnapped daughter of a U.S. Senator.  

The kidnapper is the deranged, but resourceful Gary Soneji (Wincott), who keeps the girl on his boat and his only demand is that Alex Cross work the case.   I guess Gary is a big fan.   Cross is assisted by Secret Service Agent Jezzie Flanagan (Potter), who was assigned to protect the girl but feels guilty that she was nabbed right out from under her nose.   This is a role which utilizes Freeman's innate intelligence to its full effect.   We buy what's happening, even if it may seem ludicrous after giving it some thought.   Wincott specializes in playing creepy villains and he doesn't disappoint here either.  Then, the surprises start flying at us fast and furious as is typical in thrillers like these.

Along Came a Spider is less dark and ominous than Kiss the Girls.  We have one kidnapped child instead of several kidnapped girls held hostage in a dungeon, but the success of both movies hinges on Freeman's complete believability which grounds things.   He can utter any dialogue and make it sound like it's coming from God's lips.   You can't say that about too many actors.   

Hoffa (1992) * * *

 

Directed by:  Danny DeVito

Starring:  Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, J.T. Walsh, Kevin Anderson, Armand Assante, Frank Whaley

Danny DeVito's Hoffa tells the story of the labor leader whose mysterious disappearance has overshadowed his already controversial public life.    His rise to power in the Teamsters Union, his feud with Robert Kennedy, his ouster from the union following his prison sentence, and his ruffling the mob's feathers while trying to regain his power with the Teamsters are all documented in Hoffa.   But the July 30, 1975 disappearance and murder of Jimmy Hoffa is at the center of the movie.   By this time, the polarizing Hoffa has no friends left except for his loyal right-hand man Bobby Ciaro (DeVito) and he is awaiting a meeting with a mob boss which will never happen.   Does he know this might be the end?  

Hoffa stars Jack Nicholson in the title role and it isn't stunt casting or throwing a big Hollywood legend into the role.   Nicholson looks a little like Hoffa, but captures the anger which propels him into a line of work which incites rage and violence in others.   Jimmy Hoffa has a wife and children and they are seen in the background, or in the case of his wife on his arm during certain events, but make no mistake...the Teamsters Union is his first love to the point of obsession.

The man Hoffa is seen through Bobby's loyal eyes.   Jimmy meets Bobby on his truck many years ago while Bobby is running an all-night route.   Jimmy pitches Bobby to join the Teamsters.   He knows the trucking business because he used to be a trucker.   No rest, trouble staying awake, no pay for down time or dead head.  Bobby is fearful to join because he may lose his job.  He loses the job anyway, but becomes Jimmy's trusted sidekick for the rest of his life.   Bobby doesn't have much of a story of his own except to serve at Hoffa's side.

DeVito as director keeps Hoffa moving at a swift pace.   We don't see many Hoffa dimensions because there may not be many to show us.   Hoffa isn't interested in Jimmy's personal life.   The movie could've proceeded without a mention of his family and many wouldn't know the difference.   Hoffa nonetheless takes on the form of tragedy.   Even if we knew nothing of his disappearance, you can tell the brash, impatient, angry Teamsters leader is headed for a fall.   What happened on July 30, 1975 is a sum of Hoffa's past catching up with him.