Equalizer 3 (2023) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Antoine Fuqua

Starring:  Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Gaia Scodellaro, Eugenio Mastrandrea, Remo Girone, Andrea Dodero, David Denman

The Equalizer 3 is a suitable sequel and a fitting conclusion (which was promised in the trailers) to the Equalizer saga, which realistically could've been satisfied with the initial film.  Two more unnecessary, but entertaining sequels followed because of the series' success at the box office.  Did either Equalizer 2 or 3 add to Robert McCall's story?  No, it mostly repeated it, but did so with skill and a focused Washington performance.  

Equalizer 3 follows the McCall saga to Italy, where the former CIA agent litters a quaint vineyard with thrashed thugs but is soon captured and held at gunpoint while the vineyard owner/untraceable terrorist surveys the damage and asks McCall why he tracked him down with intent to kill him.  The calm McCall informs his captors that they have nine seconds to let him go or face death.   They didn't see the first two Equalizer movies apparently, because when McCall sets his watch, that mean it's their ass.  McCall, of course, kills the leader and his remaining henchmen with gruesome efficiency, but is seriously wounded with a gunshot.  He is discovers on the roadside by a police officer and taken to a doctor for treatment and the required rest needed for the effects of such treatment to subside, which is seemingly two days.

Robert finds himself in a small seaside town recuperating when a gang of creeps begin terrorizing the poor folks who live there.  Being Robert McCall, he can't abide this and makes it his business to squash the villains like bugs.  He does that, of course, in a fashion which almost made me feel sorry for the bad guys.  Almost.  Something tells me we've seen this before, but because of Washington, The Equalizer 3 handles its business, but if there's a fourth installment, what more can be said about the McCall character? 

Thelma and Louise (1991) * * *

 

Directed by:  Ridley Scott

Starring:  Geena Davis, Susan Sarandon, Brad Pitt, Harvey Keitel, Christopher McDonald, Michael Madsen, Stephen Tobolowsky, Timothy Carhart

Best friends Thelma (Davis) and Louise (Sarandon) get away for a much-needed weekend away from their difficult home and work lives but wind up as criminals on a cross-country run from the law.   Thelma and Louise isn't simply about this physical journey, but how both women are transformed by their crimes and embrace a life they didn't expect to experience.   Parts of Thelma and Louise are formula while others stand out as original slices of life and character development.   

Thelma and Louise endure life as waitresses and more challenging personal lives.  Thelma's husband Darryl (McDonald) is an impossible prick to live with, while Louise's boyfriend Jimmy (Madsen) is a nicer guy, but doesn't want to marry her.  Louise also is a previous victim of rape from when she lived in Texas, and this memory haunts her to the point that when she wants to escape to Mexico, she wants to avoid traveling through the state.  The pair sits down for a night out on the town at a local bar, Thelma gets tipsy and dances all night with a handsome guy who soon attempts to rape her.  Louise, likely triggered by her past rape, shoots the creep dead and flees with Thelma.  

The two don't report the killing to the police because they believe their story of self-defense would be dismissed and Thelma would be blamed for being drunk and amorous with the would-be rapist.   Further events snowball with an Arkansas police detective (Keitel), who empathizes with the pair and doesn't want to see the matter escalate further than it already has.  Along the way, Thelma and Louise meet handsome drifter JD (Pitt-in his breakthrough film role) whose charm and looks seduce Thelma with devastating consequences.   Plus, he brings Thelma sexual joy in ways the insufferable Darryl couldn't even imagine.  

Some sections of Thelma and Louise drag, almost acting as a five-minute break before the action begins rolling again, but Thelma and Louise isn't an action picture, but an elevation of the road/buddy genre.  Davis's Thelma undergoes the most changes as the movie moves on to its famous climax.  When we first meet her, she is so terrified of Darryl that she leaves him a note telling him she's leaving for the weekend.  As Thelma and Louise drive through the Arizona desert, we see a more hardened Thelma looking for trouble, or a reason to unleash her rage on a society that keeps women like her down.   She catches up to where Louise was at the start of the trip: angry, suspicious, and tough.  When she shoots Thelma's rapist, we sense she was looking for an opportunity to use the gun on someone who did to Thelma what was done to her in Texas years ago.  

Callie Khouri's Oscar-winning screenplay, however, doesn't simply turn Thelma and Louise into an anti-male movie because Keitel's Hal genuinely cares about saving the two women before less-sympathetic lawmen catch them.   Even while Thelma and Louise drive off the cliff and into the Grand Canyon as a final middle finger to the men trying to capture them, Hal still tries to save them which, at that point, was from themselves.  

Retribution (2023) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Nimrod Antal

Starring:  Liam Neeson, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Modine, Noma Dumezweni, Jack Champion, Lily Aspell

Spoiler alert:  Liam Neeson's character does not invoke his usual special set of skills in Retribution, a decent thriller undone by an ending which defies logic on the part of the villain.   Neeson spends the majority of the movie behind the wheel of his car because there is a bomb underneath his seat which will trigger if he or his children tries to leave the vehicle.   It's like Speed, except Neeson's Matt Turner, a Berlin-based investment banker, doesn't have to maintain above 50 miles per hour.  

Matt has family issues as Retribution begins:  His workaholic nature has caused his wife (Davidtz) to seek a divorce, while his children Zach (Champion) and Emily (Aspell) fight with each other and disrespect their dad.  Matt agrees to take his children to school and soon discovers a mysterious burner phone, which belongs to neither his wife nor kids, in the car ringing.  If Matt never picked up the call, we would have no movie, so he answers the mystery phone.  A computer-disguised voice on the other end informs him of the bomb under the driver's seat which was triggered when Matt sat down.  Any attempts by Matt or his children to get out of the car will result in the bomb detonating.  

It turns out some of Matt's partners in the investment firm were killed in car bombs earlier in the day, and only Matt and his boss and best friend Anders (Modine) remain alive, although Anders soon bites the dust in an explosion in which Matt is framed as the bomber.   The bomber wants the money hidden in a slush fund from a Dubai account which the virtuous Matt believes is slated as insurance for investors who might go broke if the firm goes belly-up.  Instead it is really meant as a golden parachute for the partners, unbeknownst to Matt.   No matter, the bomber wants all of it:  208 million Euros, which equates to $224 million.  

On Matt's heels is Interpol, which suspects Matt may be responsible for the bombings, Berlin police, and any other authorities you can think of.   I won't go too far into the plot to avoid any further spoilers, except to say the final twenty minutes only occurs so we can find out the identity of the bomber.   I can't imagine that person would agree to meet Matt face-to-face.  I also can't believe the person, who orchestrated all of these bombings, couldn't arrange it so he wouldn't need Matt to authorize a transfer of the money in the fund.   However, I suppose Retribution plays by the rules so we would find out who the bomber is and Matt could gain revenge on him.  

And Just Like That...(2023-Season Two) * * *

 

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Evan Handler, Sara Ramirez, Nicole Ari Parker, Sarita Choudhury, John Corbett, Ivan Hernandez, Christopher Jackson, Karen Pittman, David Eigenberg, Sebastiano Pigazzi, Mario Cantone, Karen Pittman

The second season of the continuation of Sex and the City remains engaging on its own terms.   Carrie (Jessica Parker), Miranda (Nixon), and Charlotte (Davis) continue their story arcs from last season with Carrie hooking up with a guy from Sex and the City past in Aidan (Corbett), who is now a divorced father of three living in Virginia.   He's an affable man who towers over Carrie and has issues with being in Carrie's apartment.   Aidan's a nice enough guy, but is he worth Carrie telling everyone that Mr. Big (whom she married and spent many years with) was a mistake because she married him and not Aidan?  

Aidan and Carrie's relationship is just one of the many subplots in And Just Like That...  Carrie is now wealthy thanks to Mr. Big's death, but her wardrobe hasn't changed significantly from the original series where she could somehow afford all of those shoes and dresses as a part-time freelance writer in New York.  Miranda is in a relationship with Che (Ramirez), the non-binary comedian who is tapped to star in her own television series featuring Tony Danza as her father.   Neither the series nor the relationship with Miranda ends well for Che, who spends the rest of the series on the fringes after breaking up with Miranda.  Poor Steve (Eigenberg), Miranda's estranged husband who still lives with her (in separate bedrooms) and proves that he's still way too good a person to be subjected to Miranda.   I understand Miranda is on a self-discovering sexual journey, but the way she cruelly dumped Steve still stings. 

Charlotte and Harry (Handler) are still happily married with two children.  Last season, much was made about one of their daughters converting to non-binary, but this plotline is all but forgotten this season despite Roc's fledgling modeling career.  Harry's law partner Herbert (Jackson) and his wife Lisa (Ari Parker) find themselves dealing with an ill-timed pregnancy just when Herbert announces he's running for mayor and Lisa's filmmaking career is finally taking off.   Carrie's realtor friend Seema (Choudhury) finds herself falling for a hot Hollywood director (Hernandez) and fighting it every step of the way.  Miranda's law professor friend Dr. Nya Wallace (Pittman) is fighting through loneliness following a divorce.  There is even a subplot from the funny Anthony (Cantone), who runs his own bakery and hires only male model-types to make deliveries.   He is soon falling for Italian poet Giuseppe (Pigazzi) who works at his bakery and finds himself in a dilemma when Giuseppe asks him to be the bottom once in a while in the relationship, causing consternation from Anthony.

Did you get all that?  Good, there will be a quiz.  And Just Like That...juggles these stories and keeps them fresh even as the world wishes it had some of these characters' problems.   

The Bad News Bears (1976) * * *

 

Directed by:  Michael Ritchie

Starring:  Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, Vic Morrow, Joyce Van Patten, Jackie Earle Haley, Chris Barnes

The Bad News Bears equally satirizes the scrappy titular little league team of misfits and the Little League Parent.   I don't recall any such term being used back in the late 1970's to describe the overly zealous parents who verbally and physically abuse umpires and yell at coaches who don't give their children enough playing time.  Perhaps there wasn't a term for this phenomenon yet, but the personality type was there in full bloom.  Little League was created so kids could experience playing sports and being part of a team.  Then, it became about the adults who act with less maturity than the players.  Coaches and umpires donate their leisure time so kids can play.   They aren't paid, but that doesn't stop a parent from grilling an umpire on a missed strike call.  I deeply commend the adults who sacrifice their precious time for a thankless job.  

This Bad News Bears movie captures that dynamic and shows we haven't much evolved in the nearly fifty years since the movie's release.   Walter Matthau, playing the ever lovable curmudgeon, is Morris Buttermaker, a pool cleaner hired by a liberal city councilman to coach a team of different races to see if such a team could play in a mostly white little league.  (Remember this is 1976)  Buttermaker is a former minor leaguer turned alcoholic who drinks beer in his car and even in the dugout during practices and games.  No one comments on this, although I can't imagine it was acceptable behavior even back then.   Try as he might, Morris is unable to turn his team into one that doesn't lose 20-0 every game until he recruits Amanda (O'Neal), the daughter of his former girlfriend, to pitch.  She has a great arm, and once Morris recruits motorcycle-riding Kelly Leak (Haley) as his star hitter, things perk up for the Bears.

Does the team gel?  Do they get their act together in time to play for the league championship?  Will Buttermaker get his own act together?  Yes, Yes, and kind of.   Matthau plays irascible better than anyone and O'Neal matches him as the tough girl who doesn't like to show her sensitivity.   She and Matthau have an argument which cuts both very deep, and heaven forbid either shows it to anyone.  On the flip side of Buttermaker is Roy Turner (Morrow), coach of the rival Yankees who shows mostly disdain for Buttermaker and the Bears under a guise of civility and sportsmanship.  He keeps his anger under wraps until a critical moment in the championship game where his true colors are revealed. 

The Bad News Bears follows a traditional sports movie formula arc well and who wouldn't like to see the slobs beat the snobs, whose cruelty is masked under faux sportsmanship.   It worked brilliantly two years later in Animal House, and who's to say the writers weren't following The Bad News Bears' lead?  

Courage under Fire (1996) * * * 1/2

 

Directed by: Edward Zwick

Starring:  Denzel Washington, Meg Ryan, Matt Damon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Michael Moriarty, Bronson Pinchot, Sean Astin, Scott Glenn, Regina Taylor, Seth Gilliam

Courage under Fire reunites Denzel Washington with his Glory director Edward Zwick and the results are powerful and challenging.  Washington plays Lt. Colonel Nathan Serling, who is assigned by the Pentagon to investigate deceased army captain Karen Walden's (Ryan) nomination for a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor and the circumstances surrounding her death in battle during the Gulf War.  Serling is a psychologically wounded alcoholic involved in a recent battlefield miscommunication which resulted in an American soldier being killed by friendly fire.  Serling's superior and friend General Hershberg (Moriarty) assigns him the Walden case in order to deflect heat from him and with hopes the grateful Serling will rubber stamp the nomination and the Pentagon will have a feel-good moment of the medal being placed around Walden's daughter's neck. 

Serling interviews the surviving members of Walden's crew including Ilario (Damon), Monfriez (Diamond Phillips), and Altameyer (Gilliam), all of whom recall a terrifying 24 hours in which Walden is painted as a hero, a coward, indecisive, or all three.  We see the events from each soldier's point of view, and we know something is being concealed.  Ilario is too forthcoming, Monfriez is not forthcoming enough, and Altameyer is in a VA hospital begging for morphine.  Serling searches deeper and deeper for the truth, while also grappling with the truth of his own controversy involving the soldier killed on his watch.  Did he accidentally give the order to open fire on what he thought was an enemy tank?   

General Hershberg is pressuring Serling for the report sooner rather than later, completeness and thoroughness be damned, while former Marine-turned-Washington Post reporter Gartner (Glenn) is poking around looking for more than the official story on the investigation into the death of the soldier in Serling's unit.  Serling also moved out on his loving wife (Taylor) and children, and while she understands his fragile state of mind, she also lets him know she won't wait forever for his return.  Serling is home from the Middle East, but only physically.   Washington gives a brilliant performance as a man under intense scrutiny and inner conflict who decides to follow his investigation wherever it may lead.   Ryan was playing against type this time as the tough, determined Walden instead of as a romantic comedy lead.   I've said before Ryan had more smiles than most people have expressions, but here we don't see the pearly whites all that much, just grit and focus. 

The stories all lead to two powerful payoffs, one expected and one not as expected.  Courage under Fire is a compelling mystery which follows the nature of war to its complicated conclusions, whatever they may be.  

Strays (2023) * 1/2

Directed by:  Josh Greenbaum

Starring:  (voices of) Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, Randall Park, Will Forte (as Doug)

Strays is a gross-out comedy which starts out on a note of animal cruelty and grows increasingly depressing as the film wears on with its tired, lame gags involving vomit, dog poop, and dogs getting high on mushrooms.   People getting high on film hasn't been funny since the days of Cheech and Chong and it isn't much funnier with dogs replacing the people.   

The plot:  Two-year-old sweet, naive terrier Reggie (voiced by Ferrell) is abused daily by the slovenly, mean, nasty Doug (Forte).   Doug only kept Reggie out of spite when his girlfriend wisely broke up with him, but he mostly tells the dog to piss off while he masturbates to porn, kicks him out of the house all day, and then abandons Reggie miles away from home in a cornfield in hopes he won't come back.  Poor Reggie thinks of this as a game called "Fetch and Fuck", because whenever Reggie comes home, Doug says, "Fuck".   While it takes considerable nerve for Forte to play such a loathsome, irredeemable subhuman like Doug, these passages are not funny or entertaining in any way.   It sets Strays up on an irrecoverable path of gloominess.  

One day, Doug drives three hours to drop off Reggie in the middle of a big city alley, assuming Reggie would finally take a hint.  Reggie thinks of this as the ultimate game of "Fetch and Fuck", but is nearly mugged by two other dogs until saved by Boston terrier Bug (voiced by Foxx).  Reggie and Bug soon hook up with two other unwanted dogs named Maggie and Hunter (Fisher and Park), who like each other more than just platonically.   The dogs are all adorable.  The plot they find themselves in is not.  Reggie gradually understands that Doug is indeed a cruel, horrible man and was trying to get rid of him, not play with him.  Reggie's mission is to return home in order to bite Doug's genitalia off as payback for the poor treatment.

Along the way, the dogs find themselves in misadventures in which dog bodily functions play a huge part, and then Reggie finally makes it home (did you suspect he wouldn't?) to find Doug snarling and hurling insults at him before trying to bash him and his friends with a baseball bat.   Then, of course, Reggie takes full advantage of his chance to bite Doug in his nether regions, and not in a comical way, but a bloody one.  I suppose I can't blame Reggie for wanting to bite Doug's dong off, but the payoff doesn't work because the entire story arc is awfully vicious for a comedy.  I hope parents don't bring the kids thinking it will be a cute movie about talking animals.