Your Highness (2011) *

Directed by:  David Gordon Green

Starring:  Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel


Here is a spoof of medieval adventures that contains zero laughs.   Since spoofs are supposed to be funny and this one is not, what are we left with but nearly two hours of our lives stolen that we can't get back?

Some of the people responsible for Pineapple Express were involved in this woeful production.    Like Pineapple Express, some of the characters spend a great deal of time smoking weed and this is expected to be somehow funny in itself.   Granted, people smoking weed in medieval times is odd, but that doesn't translate to laughs,   Neither do jokes about child sexual abuse, homoeroticism, or a giant monster that is really five fingers and four of them are cut off during a battle.    No points for guessing which one remains.

Was there a clamoring for medieval spoofs that I wasn't aware of?   My understanding is that this film's budget was $50 million.   $50 million?   The visual effects are rather ordinary here and I can't imagine star and co-writer Danny McBride would have the cajones to demand a high salary, so where on Earth did the money go?  

It's baffling to me how certain movies ever get made and find mass distribution while other lower budget but infinitely better films struggle to find an audience.   I have a hard time believing that there weren't any better scripts to be filmed than this one.   Movie studios make only a handful of movies each year, so it's amazing how $50 million was thrown to the winds like this. 

I won't even waste my time explaining the plot of Your Highness.   There is one scene worth mentioning and I know I sound like a typical guy here, but Natalie Portman strips to a thong in one scene and looks really good.    If I'm not going to get any laughs, at least I got a visual feast for a few moments.