Valley Girl (1983) * * *

Directed by:  Martha Coolidge

Starring:  Nicolas Cage, Deborah Foreman, Elizabeth Daily, Frederic Forrest, Colleen Camp

A "valley girl" was a name (maybe even derogatory) for early 1980's San Fernando Valley teenage girls who were spoiled, affluent, and interested more in social status than accomplishment.    The song "Valley Girl" by Frank Zappa became a top 40 hit in 1982 and Valley Girl speak took off.     Phrases such as "like", "totally", "gross", "bummed", and "fer sure" became part of the lexicon.   Some of those words in the contexts used then are still used today.     Naturally, Hollywood loves to cash in on fads before they go away, so Valley Girl was made.     However, Valley Girl exceeds expectations.    Sure there is plenty of Valley Girl speak to go around and some bare breasts shown, but Valley Girl is also a perceptive, touching comedy.   It was also the first starring role for Nicolas Cage, a future Oscar winner.   

The plot became a forerunner for 80's teen romantic comedies like The Sure Thing and Pretty In Pink, in which opposites from different sides of the tracks fall in love much to the chagrin of their respective friends.     Valley Girl takes this plot and makes it fresh by allowing its characters to be vulnerable, sometimes confused, and always engaging.     The "valley girl" is Julie (Foreman), who is popular and dating an arrogant creep named Tommy (Michael Bowen), who is good looking, rich, and meets with the approval of Julie's friends.    Tommy is so lacking in any positive qualities that it's amazing Julie's friends would want them together, but that's how the plot goes.    Julie grows tired of Tommy and breaks up with him at a shopping mall in very public fashion.    Later, Julie is at a party which is crashed by two Hollywood teens, one of which is Randy (Cage), who immediately hits it off with Julie despite their backgrounds.    Randy dresses more in the New Wave/Punk style, which sets off reactions of "gross" from Julie's friends.     Randy is the antithesis of Tommy and Julie likes him.   They spend a lot of time together, which alarms her prejudicial friends who begin pressuring Julie to break it off with Randy or face ouster from their circle.   

Of course, it's easy to see now that Julie's friends aren't very good friends.    But as a teen, peer pressure is a big factor in decisions.     Most teens don't have the foresight to realize that today's friends may be tomorrow's strangers.     It takes courage to go against the grain in high schools.    Most conform and those who stand out from the crowd are usually considered undesirable, thus making it easier to conform.     Julie doesn't believe Tommy is right for her, but he is the key to her remaining popular.     What to do?

Julie's parents (Frederic Forrest and Colleen Camp) are featured as ex-hippies who run a health food restaurant.    They are not shown as caricatures, but as caring, loving parents who encourage Julie to follow her heart, knowing full well it's not the easiest advice to heed.    Nicolas Cage is smart and likable.   He was in his late teens when this film was released and went on to a Best Actor Oscar and numerous films, some hits and some misses.    No matter what, Cage is always enjoyable, even if he has a tendency to go way, way over the top.     In Valley Girl, the genesis for Cage's future roles is on full display.   

Valley Girl also features a soundtrack of New Wave favorites which were cutting edge in the early 80's.    The songs are fun and the movie is not what you would expect.    It's not entirely original, but it's heartfelt.    How many teen movies can we say that about? 

Clerks (1994) * * *

Directed by:  Kevin Smith

Starring:  Jeff Anderson, Brian O'Hallorhan, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith


This was a film that didn't work for me on my initial viewing, but became substantially better upon future viewings.     Some movies work that way.    If I remember correctly, I chalked up my dismissal of the film to not enjoying humor in which the protagonist is constantly barraged by pests and other bad people.     Then again, I should've realized that the hero worked in a North Jersey convenience store and those are the types of people that shop there.    If anything, Clerks feels realistic and some of the humor masks desperation.    Without little ways to make yourself laugh, how could it be possible to get through a workday sane?

Clerks opens with a convenience store clerk named Dante looking forward to a rare day off.  He is called into work by his boss who has to leave due to an emergency.    The emergency is actually him going skiing in Vermont, but Dante doesn't learn that until later when he is knee deep in kooky customers.     Dante's life is rather hopeless.    He quit college and has no hopes of going back.   His girlfriend cheats on him and is alleged to have "sucked 36 dicks".     As he is approached by customers who have oddball requests and do oddball things, Dante realizes that his life isn't going as it should.

Dante's buddy Randy works next door in the local video store (remember those?).    Professional treatment of customers is not a priority for him.    He is forever agitated by people who can't seem to find the new releases even though the signs make it adequately clear where they are.    Randy handles angry customers by telling them off and even closing the store so he and Dante can play a rooftop hockey game.   He is the opposite of Dante.  

Hanging out outside the stores are Jay and Silent Bob (played by Kevin Smith himself), who since this movie became a familiar duo in Kevin Smith films.   They are drug dealers, but business is rather slow.    Jay is the way more vocal of the two, while Silent Bob stands by observing and commenting with facial expressions.    Smith would've been a good silent film comedian back in the 20's. 

There is little plot in Clerks.   Situations and issues to be resolved arise throughout the day, much to Dante's dismay.    His refrain is "I'm not even supposed to be here today," as if the goofballs who accost him actually care.     Clerks is a simple, humorous study in the drudgery of work and how workers somehow manage to avoid being crushed by it.    Smith made the film on a low budget, but the film doesn't look cheap.   It is a black & white film which adds to the proceedings.    Dante, Randy, and others like them put in a long, long day on the job, but mercifully the day does eventually come to an end.    Even a day in which one of them is supposed to be enjoying a day off. 

Rock of Ages (2012) * * *

Directed by:  Adam Shankman

Starring:  Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston


I love 80's music.    No coincidence I was a teenager in the 80's and the music brings back fond and not-so-fond memories.    I'm not always a big fan of musicals.    In some cases, if the songs aren't working for me, I zone them out until the characters begin speaking dialogue again.    What's fun about Rock Of Ages is that I know all of the songs by heart and the actors have fun singing them.    The story won't win any points for originality, but it's interesting enough.    The plot is merely an excuse to hang the songs on anyway.

The film opens at a seedy LA nightclub, circa 1987, run by Dennis (Baldwin) and his right-hand-man Lonnie (Brand).    The drinks flow, the music rocks, and the place packs them in.    Despite this, Dennis hasn't paid taxes in a year and is counting on a show by the band Arsenal to bail him out.    Arsenal is fronted by Stacie Jaxx (Cruise), who is jaded, perpetually drunk, and bored.    He also pals around with a monkey named "Hey Man", who seems to know exactly what drink Stacie needs when he asks for it.    Jaxx's manager is played by Paul Giamatti as an oily slickster who doesn't have any issue with keeping his star boozed up and breaking promises by the dozen.  

As the club prepares for the big show, a Midwest girl (of course) named Sherrie (Hough) is on a bus bound for LA.    She wants to hit the big time as a singer and finds her way to the club via a barkeep named Drew (Boneta).    He wants to be a singer and fronts a band, but suffers from stage fright.     No points for guessing that the two fall in love, hang out at the Hollywood sign, and the two break up as Drew becomes a fledgling rock god.     And why are these girls always coming from the Midwest?   I'm certain girls from all of the other 49 states come to LA all the time too, each equally wide-eyed and naive.    I'm guessing the filmmakers believe the Midwest has the market cornered on naivete.     But Sherrie is enthuasiastic, singing David Lee Roth's "Just Like Paradise" before her belongings are stolen.     Both Hough and Boneta are pretty good singers and handle themselves with aplomb.  

Most of the actors (except Zeta-Jones, who won an Oscar for her singing role in Chicago) aren't known for their vocal prowess, but they sing well.    I especially liked Mary J. Blige's version of Any Way You Want It (sung in a strip club) and Baldwin and Brand's duet of "Can't Fight This Feeling".   Blige is a singer by trade, but Baldwin and Brand bring some heartfelt stuff to their song.     And if you're thinking that Baldwin and Brand's characters have a thing for each other, well, you wouldn't be wrong.     Many of the songs are performed in different keys than the original, which adds a new dimension to them while ensuring their performers don't embarrass themselves.     I never thought I'd see the day Tom Cruise played a preening rock god, but he manages to stay just this side of caricature.  

Rock of Ages has a good feel for time and place.    It's not original but everything works out well in the end for those that deserve it.     If you're expecting a fun, over-the-top romp, you've come to the right movie.    If you're expecting something deeper, you've come to the wrong movie. 

Small Time Crooks (2000) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Woody Allen

Starring:  Woody Allen, Tracey Ullman, Elaine May, Hugh Grant, Michael Rappaport, Jon Lovitz

Woody Allen is my favorite director.    In his nearly 50 years of making films, he has created films bursting with humor, creativity, and angst.    He has had a couple clunkers (Celebrity, Stardust Memories), but the rest of his body of work is a pleasure to watch.     His comedies range from slapstick (Sleeper) to the zenith of romantic comedies (Annie Hall).    His dramas include Interiors and Match Point, which delve into the darkness of the human psyche.   Then you have his films like Hannah and Her Sisters, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Husbands and Wives which walk the fine line between comedy and drama effortlessly.    Very rarely has a director's body of work possessed such range.     Small Time Crooks is a straight-up comedy and it's one of Allen's funniest.   

The plot seems simple at first and we figure we know where it's headed, but then Allen takes us in another unanticipated direction.     Woody plays Ray, an ex-con who did a stint in jail because "we found out I'm not a good stick-up man.   We were all wearing Reagan masks and I couldn't tell who was who."    Tracey Ullman is his long-suffering wife, Frenchie, who has seen her share of harebrained schemes go wrong.   His latest is a beauty.    He proposes putting up the couple's savings to rent a store as a front while he and his buddies tunnel under to a nearby bank.    Frenchie decides to make cookies and the store becomes an overnight success.   Meanwhile, Ray and his buddies bungle the heist hopelessly.     Between piercing a water main, reading maps upside down, and finding their way into a clothing store, the heist goes nowhere.    Thanks to a cop Frenchie's cousin naively blabs to, the guys find themselves franchising the store and become millionaires.

Are these the world's smartest millionaires?   Hardly.   Frenchie, longing to be more sophisticated and taken seriously among the wealthy, decides to hire an English art dealer (Grant) to teach her and Ray about art, wine, and other things the wealthy are supposed to be interested in, I suppose.    Ray would rather eat a cheeseburger and fakes illness to avoid going to a museum.    Frenchie finds herself "outgrowing" Ray, but how can she think she's a million miles removed from him when she calls crudites "crude-ites" and puts a harp smack dab in the middle of her living room?  

Naturally, unleashing people like Ray and Frenchie loose on high society is a howl.    Ray tries to win his new acquaintances over with jokes, "Did you hear about the Polish carpool?   They meet at work."   Frenchie (soon calling herself Frances) becomes a potential love interest for Grant, or does he have bigger plans in mind?     Small Time Crooks is equally hilarious during the beginning heist scenes and when Ray and Frenchie become nouveaux riche.     Allen is usually known for playing smart, sensitive types, but here he plays a dope who thinks he's smart.    He doesn't even realize his nickname "The Brain" is sarcastic.     The supporting performances are all superb as well.   

What's great about Allen is his ability to take a germ of truth or an idea and flesh the comic richness out of it.    Here he combines two great ideas into a comic gem.    Allen and Ullman don't even necessarily hog all the great lines.    During a poker scene, two of Allen's cohorts are raising each other $1,000 at a time.    One lays down his hand, which is a pair of 3's.    The other guy, stunned, says, "You see, I thought you were bluffing."   With guys like that in your crew, how could Allen think anything could go wrong with his plan?

Apollo 13 (1995) * * * *

Directed by:  Ron Howard

Starring:  Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Ed Harris, Gary Sinise

Funny how things work.   The April 1970 Apollo 13 mission to the moon didn't seem to generate much excitement.    The TV broadcast from inside the shuttle was scrapped midway through due to a perceived lack of public interest.    Apollo 11 landed on the moon on July 20, 1969 and a "been there, done that" attitude seemed to permeate the public.     However, two days into the Apollo 13 mission, an oxygen tank exploded which crippled the shuttle and left the astronauts and NASA flight control in an unprecedented predicament:  How to return the shuttle and its crew home safely.     After the explosion, Apollo 13 suddenly gained the public's interest.    How could it not?

Even though we all know by now the crew returned safely, Apollo 13 is still a suspenseful, deeply moving film.    One of the reasons why is simply the gravity of the situation.   The astronauts Jim Lovell (Hanks), Fred Haise (Paxton), and Jack Swigert (Bacon) were marooned in cold, deep outer space.    NASA couldn't just simply send up another shuttle to get them.    With help of ground control, the crew had to deal with myriad issues.    Among those were having to shut off electricity in order to conserve power (and wondering if the shuttle would be able to start up again), overworked carbon dioxide scrubbers which cease functioning and the astronauts having to build new ones out of onboard materials, and the shuttle needing to enter Earth's orbit at just the right angle in order to avoid being burned up or skipping off into space.   The lunar module was used as a makeshift lifeboat to keep the crew alive, but the astronauts still could freeze to death because the heater had to be shut down in order to save power for reentry.   It seemed Murphy's Law was in full effect for this Apollo 13 mission.    

The pivotal role in Apollo 13 is not any of the astronauts, but that of Gene Kranz (Harris), the NASA ground control leader who declares, "We've never lost an American in space, we sure as hell aren't going to do it on my watch.  Failure is not an option," in the face of this unprecedented shit storm.  Kranz maintains authority and poise despite mounting issues with the crew and its disabled ship.  Harris' Oscar-nominated performance is the best in a movie teeming with strong performances.  An even bigger star in the film is the Oscar-nominated visual effects.   They reflect the cold emptiness of space and how far it really is between the Earth and the moon, much like the visuals of 2001: A Space Odyssey.  

Apollo 13 is engrossing because of the inherent drama of astronauts who may never be able to get home again.    It's bad enough if you're marooned in the middle of the ocean or on a desert island (as Hanks was in Cast Away), but imagine being marooned in space, which at the time was still mostly uncharted and space travel was in its infancy.   In one key scene, Kranz is discussing alternative plans with the manufacturers of the lunar module.  The designer says, "It was designed to land on the moon."   Kranz replies, "I don't care about what something was designed to do, I care about what it can do."    Thanks to the creativity and sheer will of all involved, the crew got home safely.   It's thrilling to watch ordinary men do extraordinary things to make that happen. 

Bachelor Party (1984) * * *

Directed by:  Neal Israel

Starring:  Tom Hanks, Adrian Zmed, Tawny Kitaen

Watching Bachelor Party again recently, it holds up pretty well.   It's still pretty funny, mostly because of some witty dialogue.    There isn't much of a plot, but mostly the events surround the bachelor party of school bus driver Rick (Gasko), who doesn't take much seriously except for his fiancee Debbie whom he loves dearly.     And what a party this is.    By my count, there were dozens of hookers, a buffet table of drugs, endless dancing, and a donkey (make that two if you count the fake one).    The hotel room in which the party takes place is so crowded that traffic control is a nightmare.   

Rick's friends throw the party more as a chance to get laid themselves than for their friend, although they do care a great deal for him.    Attempting to sabotage the party are Debbie's friends who are holding the bridal shower the same night and Debbie's ex Cole, who is convincingly snobbish and hateful.     Cole's body and pride really take a beating throughout the film, not to mention his prized new car. 

Tom Hanks went on to become a two-time Oscar winner and one of the most popular actors in film history.     He wouldn't likely go near a movie like Bachelor Party today, but back then he was breaking into movies and you do what you have to do.    He proved to be a very capable comic actor and only later did we see his range with films like Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, and others.    In Bachelor Party, he's a likable goofball who plays a perfect foil to his snobby in-laws.    When his future father-in-law says, "Rick, I think you're an asshole," (and then explains everything else he doesn't like about him), Rick replies, "I'll be a totally changed person by the time I finish lunch."    My guess is their relationship probably didn't get a whole lot better.

What's left to say about a movie like Bachelor Party?   It is what it is.   It inspires to be vulgar, offensive, and funny.    Mission accomplished on all three.  

The Fugitive (1993) * * * *

Directed by:  Andrew Davis

Starring:  Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Pantoliano


What makes The Fugitive so riveting is simple:  If Dr. Richard Kimble is caught, he dies.    As the film opens, Dr. Kimble is unjustly convicted of murdering his wife.    He insists a "one-armed man" was in his house and he fought with him.  No one believes Kimble.  He is soon seen being taken in chains to a bus which will take him to death row.   Fortunately for Kimble, and unfortunately for mostly everyone else aboard the bus, prisoners attempt to escape causing a crash which escalates into the bus being struck by a train.  Kimble escapes and goes on the run.   This spectacular crash scene sets the wheels of The Fugitive in motion.  

Arriving at the crash scene is Deputy U.S. Marshal Sam Gerard (Jones-who won an Oscar for this role), whose job is to capture Kimble and return him to prison to await execution.    Gerard is not the villain.   He is doing his job and is not expected to be concerned about whether his quarry is actually innocent.     This is made evident in the classic scene inside the sewer where Kimble protests to Gerard, "I didn't kill my wife."   Gerard replies, "I don't care."  Gerard is correct, although he is obviously not supplied with the information we already know.   However, as the film moves along, Gerard begins to see that his prey may be innocent, but he still must capture him.   

Harrison Ford creates a sympathetic fugitive.   He is a smart man who survives by his wits and manages to stay ahead of Gerard and the police, but not too far ahead.    At first, Kimble is simply trying to avoid capture, but then he begins to track down the mysterious one-armed killer.    The Fugitive evolves into a cat-and-mouse game between Kimble, Gerard, and the conspirators who framed Kimble.    Can Kimble avoid Gerard's tireless pursuit long enough to prove his innocence?   

The Fugitive is expertly crafted and suspenseful.    It also sprinkles in nice character touches amidst the action.    Example:   Kimble is at Cook County Hospital posing as a janitor in order to get access to its prosthetics lab.   A young boy is brought in with severe abdominal pain.    Kimble sees this and knows what is wrong, but he of course can't come out and say this to the doctors who are unable to diagnose the problem.     Kimble is asked by a harried doctor to take the boy to the ER.    Kimble changes the orders as he's taking the boy away.     This move saves the boy's life.    This is a crucial scene because it shows not only Kimble's nature, but sways Gerard's belief in his innocence as well.

The heavy lifting in the film is done by Jones.   He is at first seen as a duty-bound marshal who only wants to capture his quarry and move on.    But he is intelligent, resourceful, and not without sympathy for Kimble.    This is only gradually revealed and not with acting flourishes, but with subtle touches.    Gerard is even allowed to be human and funny, especially in scenes where he and his deputies are unable to find their way out of the sewer and Gerard bans the use of the word "hinky" from all conversations with him.    It is a well-rounded, subtle, nuanced piece of acting, worthy of the Academy Award Jones won in 1993.

Even though it was adapted from the 1960's TV show, The Fugitive stands on its own as a great movie.    As a chase film, it is top-notch and realistic.    It shows how and why Kimble is ahead of his captors, but not by much.    It also works splendidly as a police procedural, showing how rough it is to be a U.S. Marshal.   After all, he is responsible for bringing fugitives to justice, even if they are innocent.   

Office Space (1999) * * *

Directed by: Mike Judge

Starring:   Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Stephen Root, Gary Cole

"Each day at work is worse than the last one.   So when you see me now, you're seeing me on the worst day of my life."   So says Peter, a cubicle worker at Initech, a software company in suburban America.     Work has become a source of daily frustration for him, as for the numerous other workers there.     Things have been so bad that he visits a therapist who hypnotizes him and then keels over from a heart attack before bringing him out.    The result?    Peter blows off work, goes fishing, and even guts the fish at his desk.     His new outlook on life is "I don't like work and I'm just not going to go."    Many people feel that way, but Peter puts it into action.    He's living the dream.

Office Space is an amusing satire into the corporate world.    A world of many managers, few workers, and two consultants named Bob (they're called The Bobs) who are assisting Initech in getting rid of extraneous employees.     Considering how several different managers all inform Peter that he didn't include a cover sheet when submitting his "TPS Reports", it looks like The Bobs are looking in the wrong place to cut heads.     Peter himself meets with The Bobs and admits he really only puts in about 15 minutes a day of actual work.    The Bobs see him as, "a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."   

Peter is in love with Joanna (Aniston), a waitress at a nearby restaurant called Chotchkie's.   She is encountering management issues on a different, but no less frustrating level.   Her boss chastises her for wearing only the "minimum amount of flair" on her work uniform.     He questions her team spirit, especially when he points out another brown-nosing waiter whose uniform is covered in pins and labels.    Soon enough, Peter asks her out and they become a couple that loves to watch Kung Fu reruns on TV.   

Things aren't going well for Peter's friends, Michael Bolton (not the singer) and Samir, who find themselves on the chopping block and at the mercy of a copier with a mind of its own.    The trio get their revenge on the copier via a baseball bat.     And let's not forget Milton (Root), a nerdy middle-aged man with Coke-bottle bottom glasses who is protective of his cubicle and red stapler.    His cubicle is continually moved much to his chagrin and apparently was laid off years ago but somehow receives a weekly paycheck.    How does Initech handle this?   By cutting off the paychecks.    They don't want the hassle of a confrontation or actually having to lay off Milton.    The thinking is that Milton will eventually take the hint.  

Many of the film's views of corporate America are still relevant today, albeit in higher tech forms.    MBA speak on "development", "competencies", "team-building", and "analyzing" runs rampant these days.    It takes someone with the ability to sell ice to Eskimos to be a manager these days.    Consultants and efficiency experts tend to be weekly visitors to some businesses.    I'm sure these consultants are referred to as "The Bobs".    What makes Office Space work is that its tone is just right.    Not too genial, not too blistering.   It doesn't like what goes on at places like Initech, but it finds humor in it also.    In the end, everyone finds satisfaction in one way or another, especially Milton, who follows through on his promise about what would happen if his cubicle is moved one more time.    

Crocodile Dundee II (1988) * *

Directed by:  John Cornell

Starring:  Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski

Good Will Hunting was originally written as a thriller, with genius Will Hunting working for the government.    Thankfully, someone had the good sense to steer the film's direction into the terrific film it is.    No such person could be found with Crocodile Dundee II, which turns its likable hero from the original into an Outback version of Rambo.    A movie executive should've put the brakes on when Paul Hogan pitched this idea for a sequel. 

This is a strange film.    It's hardly even a sequel at all, since any hint of the appealing fish-out-of-water aspects of Crocodile Dundee are long gone.    As the film opens, Dundee is fishing in New York Harbor and is approached by a helicopter.   Apparently, it's not ok to set off deep sea charges in New York Harbor, but once the helicopter sees it's Dundee, they let it slide.    Uh-huh. 

Meanwhile, Dundee's girlfriend Sue (whom he hooked up with at the end of the first movie), receives incriminating photos of a Colombian drug lord sent by her ex-husband, who is subsequently killed.    Soon enough, the drug lords kidnap Sue and hold her in an opulent mansion that screams "A drug dealer lives here."    Armed with his trusty giant knife (That's a knife), Dundee enlists some help as he goes after Sue.   What kind of help?   Well, apparently there's a well-known gang of all-white punks that sit around in a bar.    Mick goes there and talks them into helping him by saying, "Do this and you'll be cool again."    Uh-huh.   I'm reminded of the scene in Easy Money in which Rodney Dangerfield's wife describes his future son-in-law, "Julio is in a good boys' gang, they help people."   Just in case you didn't know these were wild and crazy guys, every time the gang appears on screen, the song "Real Wild Child" by Iggy Pop plays on the soundtrack.    And I mean EVERY time.

After rescuing Sue, they flee to Australia in hopes of hiding out in the Outback until the drug dealers are sent to prison.    The bad guys of course find out where they are and track them there.    The last hour of the film is Mick foiling his foes by putting his endless knowledge of the territory and its wildlife to good use.    Thank goodness he knows how to make the concoction that attracts bats.    Despite the vastness of the wilderness, Mick seems to know exactly where the bad guys will step so he can set traps for them and outfox them.    I've heard of home-field advantage, but this is ridiculous.
The biggest howl is when Mick fakes a crocodile attack by wearing a crocodile suit.    Where did he hide that in his backpack?  

There is little evidence of what made Crocodile Dundee watchable in the first place.    He is a danger junkie who is seemingly unaffected by the fact that he and his lady are being pursued by drug lords who want them dead.     Granted, the villains are portrayed as easily-swindled buffoons, but still.    And what kind of drug lord goes on this type of journey himself?   Doesn't he have enough goons to do the dirty work while he sits in his mansion with his feet propped up?

Crocodile Dundee II wants to accentuate the action part of its hero's persona.    I would've liked to have seen more goofy adventures of the Aussie fish out of water, but that might have required too much work.    I'm guessing Hogan really didn't know where to go after the smashing success of the original, so he went on autopilot and made a film that could've just as easily starred Sylvester Stallone.




  

Taken 2 (2012) * 1/2

Directed by: Olivier Megaton

Starring:  Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace

There are more laughs in Taken 2 than in many comedies I've seen recently.   That's not a good thing, since Taken 2 is an action thriller so ludicrous you can't help but point out the plot holes.   There are so many it becomes a list.     The original Taken (2008) was a stark, simple thriller in which Neeson takes out numerous baddies in search of his kidnapped daughter.    It worked.   Taken 2 does a lot of things, but work isn't one of them.   Thrillers must work with pinpoint precision, but alas Taken 2 simply flies off the rails.    Let me count the ways how:

*   The film's plot involves relatives of the numerous men Neeson killed in the original seeking revenge by kidnapping Neeson and his ex-wife (Famke Janssen) while all three are vacationing in Turkey.    Why kidnapping and not just putting a bullet in their heads?   Besides the fact there would be no movie, the head villain wants them to die slowly.   In other words, they will give Neeson time to figure a way out of the situation.

*   The captors conveniently allow Neeson to be alone so he can free himself from being tied up and make calls to his daughter to assist in his efforts.   When Neeson and his ex are captured and held at gunpoint, the baddies inexplicably allow Neeson to make a call to his daughter explaining what is happening and what to do.    I can't fathom, even in a movie, why they would allow this.    This scene is supposed to echo the famous scene in Taken in which Neeson talks by phone to his daughter right before she is taken hostage.

*  As Neeson is on the phone instructing his daughter on how to find them, he asks her to go into his suitcase, which is equipped with numerous gadgets including grenades.   Grenades?   Yes, he is on a bodyguarding assignment in Turkey, but where does he think he will need grenades?    I guess his hunch was correct because three of them are used to blow up various things.

*  Neeson and his daughter escape and lead the villains in a chase all over Istanbul.    Fortunately, there aren't many people out in the daytime so they don't have to worry about running anyone over.    The two crash through the U.S. Embassy checkpoint and when they crash, Neeson talks to his daughter for a few minutes and then apparently escapes.    How did he get away?   Does he think the embassy will be ok with having their checkpoint run over once they hear her story?  

*  Neeson kills the baddies with one shot while the baddies can't hit him once despite shooting hundreds of rounds.    This is standard in action thrillers, but it sure is tiresome by now.

*  Do the minions who chase Neeson and company through Istanbul ever think to themselves, "Why couldn't we just kill him when he had him tied up to a pipe?   If we did that, we wouldn't be doing this shit."

*  If I were Neeson and his family, I wouldn't consider leaving home, let alone flying to another foreign country.    They are 0 for 2 in going to a foreign nation without being kidnapped.    They live in Los Angeles, but I wouldn't even travel to Anaheim if I were them.

*  Apparently, the police can't seem to track down Neeson even though he is a 6'5" white man walking around the streets of Turkey.   And after all of this is said and done, are they allowed to just go home even though there are a bunch of dead bodies, property damage, and not to mention the embassy breach?   It seems so.

I'm sure there are many more odd things about Taken 2, but I think I've made my point. 
 

Alien (1979) * * *

Directed by:  Ridley Scott

Starring:  Tom Skeritt, Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, Yaphet Kotto, Harry Dean Stanton


Seeing Alien again for the first time in a long time, the visual effects still hold up very well.  Alien is a dark, cold horror film in which a mining crew aboard a spaceship is infiltrated and then killed off one by one by a hideous creature no one had encountered before.    Science Officer Ash (Ian Holm)  marvels at the way the creature can adapt to whatever its current environment is.     Crew member Ripley (Weaver) is more interested in other things, such as "How do we kill it?"   

Weaver would reprise the role of Ripley in three other Alien films.     At the time of its release, Weaver was largely unknown and having her be the last surviving crew member to fight the alien was an unexpected choice by Scott and screenwriter Dan O' Bannon.     If memory serves, the only movie previous to Alien I saw her in was Annie Hall, which was a brief scene with no dialogue in which she plays Woody Allen's much taller girlfriend.     In a normal sci-fi thriller, the captain would be the one left to fight the monster.    Here, the captain is killed off early.    

What works most about Alien is not as much the Gotcha! moments, which have been repeated in many forms in later slasher films, but the desolate atmosphere.    This crew is "10 months away" from Earth and they are out in deep outer space with no chance of rescue.    They keep in contact with Earth through Mother, a computer system which may have different plans for the alien lifeform than expected.    They are alone, frightened, and have no knowledge of this terrifying creature which stalks them on this very, very large ship.   

The planet the alien came from is a sunless, godless pile of rock.    Co-captain Kane (Hurt) stumbles across leathery looking eggs, one of which hatches and clamps itself onto Kane's face.    Soon after, a small alien is born via bursting through Kane's stomach.    The slimy thing scampers away and the next time someone sees it, it has grown substantially bigger and more fierce.     This birth scene is satirized by Hurt in Spaceballs (1987), in which the slimy creature sings with a top hat and cane after bursting from Hurt's stomach.

Alien is a suspenseful film which is still effective even though I've seen countless ripoffs and slasher films inspired by it.   Perhaps watching it 34 years after its initial release has watered down some of my enthusiasm for it, but time has a way of doing that.     It was vital in launching Sigourney Weaver's career as one of the top female box-office draws of all time.    She was equally convincing in action roles, comedies, and dramas, showing quite a range.   Most of the other actors remained strong character actors who appeared in numerous films and TV shows in the 80's through the present.    Director Ridley Scott launched quite a career of his own, directing Gladiator, Blade Runner, Thelma and Louise, Black Hawk Down, and other large and small scale films which showcased the director's talent well.     He was equally at home in big budget epics like Gladiator and smaller films like American Gangster and A Good Year.    

High Fidelity (2000) * * * *

Directed by:  Stephen Frears

Starring:  John Cusack, Jack Black, Catherine Zeta-Jones

What a funny movie this is.   It doesn't use slapstick, bathroom humor, or bodily functions to get its laughs.    It relies on characters and smart, real dialogue.    These are people we can relate to and identify with.   Usually if the characters are interesting, everything else falls into place.    That's certainly the case here.

Based on a novel by Nick Hornby, which was set in England, High Fidelity moves the action to Chicago.    Its central character is Rob (Cusack), who runs a record store in the Windy City called Championship Vinyl.    The film was released in 2000, when record stores were still around and there may have been even a place that sold vinyl if you looked hard enough.    His employees are Barry (Black) and Dick (Todd Louiso), who despite being music snobs and pissing off customers, are unfireable.   "I hired them to work three days a week and they started showing up every day.   I can't fire them now," laments Rob.    Rob, Barry, and Dick have one thing in common.    Each loves to begin discussions with "Give me a list of Top 5 (fill in category)", which are fun and reveal a lot about the mindsets of these guys.    When asked about Top 5 funeral songs, Barry reveals, "You Can't Always Get What You Want".    Dick retorts, "That's disqualified due to association with The Big Chill."    Black's response is "Damn it, that's right." as if he suddenly remembered this long-standing rule.    Black is such a music snob that he bans a customer from the store who requests "I Just Called To Say I Love You."  

The film focuses on Rob's recent breakup with his longtime girlfriend Laura.    Rob then goes through his personal list of "Top 5 Breakups" and is happy that Laura doesn't make the list.   But he obsesses over the breakup and Laura to the point that he revisits the women on his Top 5 to find out what went wrong in their relationships.   What he finds is funny, sad, painful, and a pattern.   Is it possible that Rob finds it more compelling to chase Laura than to actually have her?    Was the chase always better than the kill?    Is he destined to be left?

In the meantime, Laura hooks up with Ian (Tim Robbins), a creepy guy who is a master of "conflict resolution".   Rob's encounter with Ian in the record store plays itself out in a hilarious series of fantasies of what Rob would like to do to Ian.    An air conditioning unit is involved, but I'll leave it at that.    But it appears Rob has his heart set on winning Laura back and she appears confused about things herself, leading to arguments and some touching moments.

The people in High Fidelity are smart, likable, and refreshingly honest about themselves.    We care for them and root for them to be happy.    Can Rob ever be happy knowing what he knows about himself?   Maybe, maybe not, but Cusack plays Rob with a strong mix of humor, pathos, and insecurity.      I love the scene where Laura says to Rob, "I haven't slept with Ian yet."   At first Rob is ecstatic, but then he starts to think about the "yet" in the statement and it drives him batty.    So batty that he engages in a conversation with Barry about the word "yet".    Barry is so bewildered by this chat that he says, "I know I don't usually say this, but can I get back to work now?"    Priceless. 

The Master (2012) * 1/2

Directed by:  Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring:  Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams

The Master is an odd film.   What is really about?   It wants desperately to be about Something Important, but there is nothing of substance there.    Its hero is non-descript and its other characters seem on the verge of becoming interesting, only to dissipate into vagueness.     There are pieces here that, if they fit together, would make a tremendous movie.    However, we are left with what might have been.

The film opens in the last days of World War II, in which an alcoholic sailor named Freddie (Phoenix) leaves the Navy with no place to go and nothing to do.    He creates beverages made with all kinds of ingredients including paint thinner.    After an unsuccessful stint as a department store photographer, he lights out for the undeveloped California farmlands.   There, one of his potions kills a man and he flees.    He stumbles across a yacht which is lit up and hosting a wedding reception.   He sneaks in and crashes for the night.    The next morning, he is discovered by the yacht's owner, Lancaster Dodd, who is a seemingly successful writer.    Instead of having him arrested for trespassing, Dodd recruits him to be part of The Cause.   The Cause is a growing cult run by Dodd and his wife Peggy (Adams), who perform "processes" on its members in order to get them in touch with past lives and feelings present in utero.    This appears to be an allusion to L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology, but it's never spelled out.    I suppose Dodd's cult is not that much different from many others.    All one needs is a hook and followers, even if the hook is complete bunk.  

Until Freddie meets up with Dodd, Freddie is a loser alcoholic roaming aimlessly from place to place.   In the "process", he discusses a girl named Doris, who was a teenager when he left for war and since never went back home to locate her.    Does this trigger his alcoholic rages?    That's likely, but since Freddie makes drinks out of paint thinner, torpedo fuel, and whatever else he can find, mere whiskey isn't likely to cure what ails him.    After hooking up with The Cause, Freddie follows Dodd around from place to place, but the movie never convinces me that is truly inside.    

I was most disappointed in the Dodd character.   Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one of the most interesting of actors, but he is not so in The Master.    His speeches, methods, and beliefs are hollow.    He forces Freddie to exorcise his demons by walking endlessly from one side of a room to another touching the walls.    What this is supposed to do I don't know.   Maybe even Dodd himself doesn't know.    His son points out to Freddie at one point, "Don't you know he's making this up as he goes along."   Certainly Dodd is some sort of a hypocrite, but how?    The movie never really connects the dots between him and what he is trying to teach others.    Certainly, for Dodd to be successful in gaining followers, he has to at least be convincing in peddling his bullshit.    In this film, he is less than compelling, so why would others want to follow him?

So what becomes of Freddie in all of this?   Does he quit drinking?   Does he conquer his demons?   From all appearances, the answer is no.    He is a loser in the beginning, the middle, and the end.   He doesn't appear to have learned anything.    Perhaps that's the point, but does this make for solid drama?    The Master is like its protagonist.    It wanders and meanders, but despite all of the mileage covered, we realize we haven't gone anywhere.     The Master feels like a lost opportunity more than anything else.