Crocodile Dundee II (1988) * *

Directed by:  John Cornell

Starring:  Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski

Good Will Hunting was originally written as a thriller, with genius Will Hunting working for the government.    Thankfully, someone had the good sense to steer the film's direction into the terrific film it is.    No such person could be found with Crocodile Dundee II, which turns its likable hero from the original into an Outback version of Rambo.    A movie executive should've put the brakes on when Paul Hogan pitched this idea for a sequel. 

This is a strange film.    It's hardly even a sequel at all, since any hint of the appealing fish-out-of-water aspects of Crocodile Dundee are long gone.    As the film opens, Dundee is fishing in New York Harbor and is approached by a helicopter.   Apparently, it's not ok to set off deep sea charges in New York Harbor, but once the helicopter sees it's Dundee, they let it slide.    Uh-huh. 

Meanwhile, Dundee's girlfriend Sue (whom he hooked up with at the end of the first movie), receives incriminating photos of a Colombian drug lord sent by her ex-husband, who is subsequently killed.    Soon enough, the drug lords kidnap Sue and hold her in an opulent mansion that screams "A drug dealer lives here."    Armed with his trusty giant knife (That's a knife), Dundee enlists some help as he goes after Sue.   What kind of help?   Well, apparently there's a well-known gang of all-white punks that sit around in a bar.    Mick goes there and talks them into helping him by saying, "Do this and you'll be cool again."    Uh-huh.   I'm reminded of the scene in Easy Money in which Rodney Dangerfield's wife describes his future son-in-law, "Julio is in a good boys' gang, they help people."   Just in case you didn't know these were wild and crazy guys, every time the gang appears on screen, the song "Real Wild Child" by Iggy Pop plays on the soundtrack.    And I mean EVERY time.

After rescuing Sue, they flee to Australia in hopes of hiding out in the Outback until the drug dealers are sent to prison.    The bad guys of course find out where they are and track them there.    The last hour of the film is Mick foiling his foes by putting his endless knowledge of the territory and its wildlife to good use.    Thank goodness he knows how to make the concoction that attracts bats.    Despite the vastness of the wilderness, Mick seems to know exactly where the bad guys will step so he can set traps for them and outfox them.    I've heard of home-field advantage, but this is ridiculous.
The biggest howl is when Mick fakes a crocodile attack by wearing a crocodile suit.    Where did he hide that in his backpack?  

There is little evidence of what made Crocodile Dundee watchable in the first place.    He is a danger junkie who is seemingly unaffected by the fact that he and his lady are being pursued by drug lords who want them dead.     Granted, the villains are portrayed as easily-swindled buffoons, but still.    And what kind of drug lord goes on this type of journey himself?   Doesn't he have enough goons to do the dirty work while he sits in his mansion with his feet propped up?

Crocodile Dundee II wants to accentuate the action part of its hero's persona.    I would've liked to have seen more goofy adventures of the Aussie fish out of water, but that might have required too much work.    I'm guessing Hogan really didn't know where to go after the smashing success of the original, so he went on autopilot and made a film that could've just as easily starred Sylvester Stallone.