Thor: The Dark World (2013) * 1/2

Directed by:  Alan Taylor

Starring:  Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba, Stellan Skarsgaard, Kat Dennings, Christopher Eccleston

I didn't see the first Thor, but I did see The Avengers and I kinda sorta know the story of Thor, which was continued in The Avengers.     Thor: The Dark World also provides a brief synopsis of the events leading up to now, narrated by Anthony Hopkins.    So, with myself fairly well caught up, I kicked back to enjoy Thor: The Dark World, but I soon realized that I was not in for a pleasant experience.     The movie quickly grows into a loud, confusing mess.    I needed Hopkins to narrate another synopsis at about the midway point in an effort to sort out the chaos.

Thor: The Dark World is chaotic and looks busy, but it's all sound and fury signifying nothing.     Things blow up and people are killed, but there is little to care about.    The only slight interest involves Thor recuriting his mortal enemy (his jailed brother Loki) to assist in his fight against the evil Malekeith (Eccleston), who plans to plunge the universe into eternal darkness and destroy everything, I think.    Will Loki turn on Thor?   Can Thor trust him?    The answers are murky. 

Question:   If Malekeith succeeds in his plan to destroy the universe or plunge it into darkness, what exactly will he do with his time for the rest of eternity?     I think he is really setting his sights too high.     Since it seems Malekeith lives simply to make others miserable or destroy them, he should maybe start out small, like maybe turning the first few galaxies into black holes or something.    Then, he'll have more goals to work towards.    

No one in Thor: The Dark World has much personality.    Thor (Hemsworth) is a one-dimensional bohemoth who recites platitudes about honor and doing the right thing when he isn't destroying things with his mighty hammer.     He's a bore.    Pretty much everyone in Asgard is boring.    Loki seems to have the most fun and he's in prison.    Probably because he won't need to have any lengthy conversations with his fellow Asgardians.    

The Earthlings aren't much better.    Dr. Jane Foster (Portman), Thor's love interest from the first film, is back and discovers "ether", the substance Malekeith wants which takes over people's bodies.    She is also studying The Convergence along with Dr. Eric Selvig (Skarsgaard), who was arrested for running naked around Stonehenge.    It is never fully explained why he was doing this.   The Convergence, by the way, is...well, I can't exactly say for sure.    I'm sure even if I were told what it is, it likely wouldn't enhance my enjoyment of the movie anyway.     Also on hand is Darcy (Dennings), whose job is to be Jane's snarky assistant and resident wiseass.    

The world of Thor is solemn and rather humorless.     It's a comic book movie, but boy is it drowning in its own seriousness.      The chases and battles between worlds are hard to follow and the ending guarantees a third installment, although I think I've had quite enough of Thor and everything Asgardian.      Maybe a second viewing will clear up the plot for me, but that's too high a price to pay for clarity.