Wag The Dog (1997) * * *

Directed by:  Barry Levinson

Starring:  Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro, Anne Heche, Woody Harrelson, Craig T. Nelson, Denis Leary, Willie Nelson

I wonder what a PR specialist like Conrad Brean does when he is not bailing his clients out of seemingly insurmountable trouble.     Eleven days before Election Day, Conrad (DeNiro) is brought in by the White House to do some serious damage control.     The President, days before his hopeful reelection, is accused of groping a teenage girl in the Oval Office.     The stories of the scandal flood TV news stations all over the country and things are looking bad.    How does the President spin his way out of this mess?   By starting a war, of course.    According to Conrad, the 1983 invasion of tiny Grenada was done in hopes of distracting people from a U.S.-led Beirut bombing that went horribly wrong.   It did.  Conrad believes nothing makes people forget quicker than a good, old-fashioned war. 

Who do we go to war with?   Conrad settles on Albania. Why Albania?   Because no one knows much about it and no one cares about it.    Some people may remember that John and Jim Belushi are of Albanian descent, but that's the extent of their knowledge of the Eastern European nation.    Conrad believes many people wouldn't even realize it's in Europe and he's probably right.    All he needs to do is invent a war and make it last long enough so people forget about the teenage girl.     Conrad is cynical enough about people to make such a thing work, otherwise he's in the wrong line of work.

Conrad enlists the help of a Hollywood producer named Stanley Motss (Hoffman), who lives in a large Hollywood home, but yearns for some work which will make people forget his recent flops.    The trouble is, Motss can't take credit for the invented war despite his overwhelming desire to do so.     Motss believes producers make movies happen, but don't get any credit.     "You know there are no Academy Awards for producing," he tells Conrad.     Best Picture Oscars are awarded to producers, but for guys with egos like Motss' that is of little consolation.     "All people could talk about on my last picture were the costumes.  The costumes got more coverage than me."

Motss, on a soundstage, is able to create a fictitious terrorist bombing in Albania with an American actress posing as an Albanian refugee holding a small cat running around the ruins.     (The cat is digitally superimposed over a bag of Doritos the actress is holding).     This footage sparks enough public outrage to go to war with Albania.     No one asks questions.     The media is swept up in patriotic fervor and practically does most of Conrad's job for him.      When the Albanian war peters out after about two days, Motss and Conrad develop a scheme in which a U.S. soldier is trapped behind enemy lines and people throw their old sneakers around telephone lines all over the country to show support.    Think that sounds ridiculous?   You probably don't remember ribbons tied to oak trees in the early 80's.  

Conrad, Motss, and company encounter what seems to be one insurmountable challenge after another keeping their lie afloat.    But through ingenuity and desperation, they keep a lot of balls juggled.    Barry Levinson, who co-wrote the script, is playing Wag The Dog for satire and like a lot of satire it stays just ahead of the facts.    Like Dr. Strangelove or even Bulworth (released about a year later), Levinson's comedy throws a lot at the wall and some of it sticks.     Hoffman (Oscar-nominated for his role) creates an ego-driven Hollywood producer who would trade all of his past successes and riches for some sort of recognition for this; his masterpiece.    Motss is always reassuring, even in the face of catastrophe, "When we filmed The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse, three of the Horsemen died two weeks before the end of principal photography.    This is nothing."   

Motss is a tanned, slick producer, while Conrad is disheveled, unkempt, and has clothes that look slept in.    Joining them is Winifred Ames (Heche), who is the textbook defintion of harried, and no wonder.     "Wag The Dog" has entered the lexicon.    It refers to wars or police actions that seem to pop up in the middle of political scandal.     Some people look a little closer at wars and wonder why they are being fought.     Others simply get swept up in patriotism and hope that we kick Iraq's ass, even though they have no real idea why we would want to do so.