The Monuments Men (2014) * *

Directed by:  George Clooney

Starring:  George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Hugh Bonneville, Cate Blanchett

The Plot:  A group of Allied soldiers are tasked with saving works of art that were stolen and hidden by Nazis near the end of World War II.  

Here's a movie with a group of A-list actors that are all dressed up with no place to go.     It tries very hard to convince us that there is a story here worth caring about, but there isn't.     When a character provides three different speeches proclaiming how important the mission is to all humankind, we sense he is trying to sell us.     It's difficult, however, to get worked up over stolen art when Nazis committed far more heinous atrocities against humanity.      Stealing the Mona Lisa ranks rather low on the hierarchy of Nazi war crimes.

It's a shame to waste all of this combined talent, whether in front of or behind the camera, but The Monuments Men does just that.     Most make up the title characters, while Blanchett portrays a museum secretary in occupied France who assists the soldiers in finding out where the Nazis put all of the paintings, statues, and sculptures.     There is plenty of goodwill we have with these actors, who do their best to entertain, but the characters aren't interesting and we don't really care about them.

The Monuments Men never really crackles along.    There are too many sidebars and too much meandering, with little suspense because most of the abandoned mines the Nazis used as hiding places are sitting there unguarded waiting for the Monuments Men to find them.     Even a plot development involving Hitler's decree to destroy whatever art the Nazis stole seems thrown in as a "race against time" to help generate needed suspense.    Not much is done with this however.   

It shouldn't come as a surprise that a couple of the Monuments Men will be killed.    It seems the least recognizable actors are the ones that get whacked.     Just look at the top of this review at the names of the stars and you'll be able to deduce which two don't make it.    After the mission is accomplished and thousands of priceless works of art are saved from destruction, Clooney's character discusses the mission's success with President Truman, who asks not unreasonably if the mission was worth the lives of two men.      You know a movie is in trouble if even the film's screenplay questions the sanity of the mission.      Let's face it:  The Monuments Men really had no reason to be made.