Directed by: Chris Rock
Starring: Chris Rock, Rosario Dawson, JB Smoove, Gabrielle Union, Tracy Morgan, Cedric The Entertainer
Top Five is Chris Rock's third feature as a director and he still is unable to transfer his stand-up mastery to the big screen. He is a fine comic actor with plenty of the same instincts that make him a successful stand-up comedian, but he should read his scripts more carefully. Especially the ones he writes himself, like Top Five.
Rock plays Andre Allen, a recovering alcoholic stand-up comic and actor who eschews his comedic hits such as Hammy The Bear (1,2, and 3) in order to star in serious fare like Uprize! Yes, there is a raised fist standing in for the i in the title. It is a guaranteed flop. He wants to be a serious actor, but shouts of "Hammy" are forever directed his way whenever he appears anywhere. At a press junket, the interviewers ask him when the next Hammy The Bear movie is coming out. He is forced to endure ridiculous interviews on radio and TV promoting a film no one wants to see.
At the strong urging of his agent, Andre agrees to be profiled by the New York Times. To say the Times critic has been unkind to his films is a massive understatement. "When will Andre Allen be brought to justice for his crimes against humanity?" Ouch, I didn't even say that about the makers of Caligula. Instead of the regular movie critic, the Times sends Chelsea Brown (Dawson), who follows Andre around all day asking him questions the other reporters don't ask.
We learn a lot about Andre. He is about to be married to a reality TV star (Union) on her TV show. Her only talent seems to be the ability to get on reality TV shows. Andre isn't thrilled about the fact that his fiancee altered his wedding ring at the behest of her network. He is also four years sober, thanks to his bottom in Houston four years earlier in which strange things happen after a long night of drinking. I won't explain what those are, but they involve Cedric The Entertainer's character and two women. On this day, however, his sobriety will be severely tested.
Chelsea is not without problems of her own. Her boyfriend won't return her calls and she herself is a recovering alcoholic. One well done scene involves Chelsea browsing through a liquor store while telling Andre about her boyfriend's sexual quirks. She dances close to the flame of relapse as Andre subtly tries to dissuade her from it. I also liked Andre's relationship with his childhood friend/bodyguard Silk (JB Smoove), in which their mutual loyalty is touching.
Top Five suffers from being painfully uneven. There are thoughtful scenes like the ones I just mentioned and the one in which Andre runs into his father, but there are others you are at a loss to account for. The bachelor party scene featuring Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, and Whoopi Goldberg in cameos as themselves doesn't develop into a payoff. A DMX cameo is supposed to be an inspiration for Andre but I'm left ambivalent towards it. Also, DMX can not sing, which I'm sure he knows. We also see a visit with his family and old neighborhood friends from the projects that doesn't go anywhere either.
Rock's film is strongest when it dissects show business unmercifully, but weakest when it tries to shoehorn in a predictable romance between Andre and Chelsea. There is also a plot swerve in there that was unnecessary to begin with. Couldn't Chelsea had been honest about her identity from the beginning, adding an extra layer of complications she and Andre would have to work out? I think that would've been more substantial than yet another romance detoured by a white lie just as things were heating up.
Rock and Dawson are intelligent comic actors who honestly should not go there when it comes to having a romance. We see from miles away how it will play out, but I would rather have seen them depart as friends. Anything else seems forced. Top Five plays best when it is merciless satire and is flattest when it threatens to turn into a movie romance as old as the hills.
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