Directed by: Bryan Buckley
Starring: Melissa Rauch, Gary Cole, Thomas Middleditch, Sebastian Stan, Haley Lu Richardson, Cecily Strong
Hope Ann Greggory (Rauch) is one of the most unpleasant, abrasive, horrible movie characters I've encountered in many a moon. Since The Bronze is billed as a comedy, her overuse of swear words and generally abhorrent behavior is supposed to be funny. Or are we supposed to commend Rauch for writing and playing someone who rips the envelope instead of merely pushing it? When Hope finally decides to do something decent and redeem herself, we couldn't care less. She stepped so far over the line there is no coming back. Her attempts to ingratiate herself with the audience are even worse.
Hope is a former Olympic bronze medal gymnast from the 2004 Olympics. She managed to perform a tough uneven bars routine despite injuring her Achilles tendon. Fast forward to present day, where the miserable Hope still lives in her hometown of Amherst, Ohio. Hope dresses every day in her Olympic warm up suit (I wonder what that smells like after a while). She lives off the free stuff she wriggles out of people thanks to her status as the closest thing to a town celebrity. Oh, and she steals money from the mail in her father's postal truck and is generally nasty to everyone she comes into contact with. Of course, she also likes to buy weed, or at least manipulate her way into getting some. It is a pattern in comedies that smoking weed or possessing weed in and of itself is hilarious. We are a long way past Reefer Madness, guys.
Hope has an ongoing cold war with her former coach, who trains sunny Olympic hopeful Maggie Townsend (Richardson) who Hope detests. Hope pretty much detests anyone, but particularly Maggie because she threatens to usurp Hope as the town's resident celebrity. Thanks to plot developments too laborious to mention, Hope finds herself training Maggie for a spot on the Olympic team. At first, she sabotages the naïve, guileless Maggie, but then she actually starts training her legitimately. Meanwhile, she torments her spineless enabling father (Cole), who reads books on how to deal with a monster like Hope.
The Bronze doesn't generate a single laugh, a mere chuckle, or even a slight smile. Rauch, who plays Bernadette on The Big Bang Theory and co-wrote the script with her husband Winston, is apparently not interested in career self-preservation. Their creation of Hope Ann Greggory is a woeful miscalculation and a complete overestimation of the audience's patience with her. There is nothing redeeming about her. Like her father eventually concedes, she is a total bitch. A nice guy named Ben (Middleditch from HBO's Silicon Valley) is condescendingly called Twitchy by Hope (due to his facial tics), but he wants to date her anyway. Why? There is nothing to like about her.
Rauch speaks with an accent that channels her inner Sarah Palin. I halfway expected her to say how she can see Russia from her front porch. There is also a former flame on the scene in Lance Tucker (Stan aka The Winter Soldier from Captain America), a gold medal gymnast who loathes Hope yet can't resist wanting to bang her in over the top fashion. How over the top? The two have sex while performing gymnastic vaults and flips. Inventive positions are used. I saw something like this from Sacha Baron Cohen in Bruno. It wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now.
The Bronze follows a predictable story arc as Hope goes from a horror to a mere terror in the course of 90 minutes. We are supposed to be happy that she actually treats people with at least a modicum of dignity at the end. Are we supposed to suddenly care that she has feelings? It's okay to have your lead as an unpleasant grouch, but make the character funny and with a glint of charm and wit. Something to build on. Bill Murray in Groundhog Day is a perfect example. Sure, he's crass and put upon, but we know he can be redeemed and has good qualities somewhere. Hope Ann Greggory is bereft of anything resembling good qualities. I can be tempted to laud Rauch as having the courage to play someone so over the top, but I find it's a temptation I can easily resist.
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