Stuber (2019) * *

Directed by:  Michael Dowse

Starring:  Kumail Nunjiani, Dave Bautista, Natalie Morales, Mira Sorvino, Betty Gilpin, Iko Uwais, Karen Gillan

Stuber isn't awful, but not distinguishable from countless other cop-buddy movies.    Kumail Nunjiani (of Silicon Valley and The Big Sick) and Dave Bautista (of WWE and Guardians of the Galaxy) are able to keep Stuber afloat for much longer than you would expect with the unique energy each brings, but soon enough the entire movie sputters to a halt like the electric car Stu (Nunjiani) uses as a moonlighting Uber driver.

The opening action sequences see gruff, hulking cop Vic Manning (Bautista) and his partner Morris (Gillan--also from Guardians of the Galaxy) tracking down elusive heroin dealer Teijo (Uwais) in a posh hotel.    Gunfire ensues, and Vic battles Teijo mano y mano.   This Teijo, with bleached blond hair and a slight build, must be part Terminator and part Michael Myers.    From my recollection, Teijo is brutalized by Vic's powerful punches, hit with a hard wooden object of some kind, and thrown through a wall, but quickly recovers and flees.   Vic drops a room service cart on Teijo as he attempts to make his way to the ground floor, thus causing Teijo to crash land onto the cement floor.    No worries.   Teijo is able to dust this off and run outside, where he is confronted by Morris, possibly shot, and then proceeds to kill Morris with a single bullet to the stomach.    If you consider the punishment Teijo just absorbed, he must've been busting a gut that Morris would die from a measly single gunshot wound.

Some time later, Vic is still on the hunt for Teijo, and learns from his chief that the case will soon fall into federal hands.   He takes time off to have Lasik surgery performed and makes plans to see his sculptor daughter's exhibit opening.   Judging by his scene with his daughter, he has made such plans before but cop business got in the way.   Unable to see, Vic is tipped off about Teijo's whereabouts and after crashing his own car, hires Stu as an Uber driver to travel Los Angeles in search of Teijo.   Stu points out how bringing a civilian along as a partner breaks all kinds of laws, but we allow the movie its contrivances.

Stu has issues of his own, including a full-time job at a sporting goods store under the thumb of an arrogant rich kid and his unrequited love for Becca (Gilpin), who has friend-zoned him and uses him to fork over his life savings to help her open a spin gym.    Stu isn't keen on investing the money, but he hopes the gesture would help Becca fall for him.    She likes former LA Laker players, so Stu has little shot of moving from the friend zone.    He is an Uber driver on nights and weekends, but a recent series of mishaps with rides has caused his rating to plummet.    He is such desperate need for a five-star rating from his clients that he stocks up on water and specialty chocolates to offer to riders.

Vic is an angry guy with a single-minded obsession to capture Teijo, even at the expense of his daughter and Stu's safety.    Stu is a meeker, kinder, gentler soul who is naturally nonplussed to have to keep a handcuffed suspect in the back seat of his car, and even more disturbed to have to hold the guy at gunpoint.    Vic and Stu argue about Stu's supposed lack of manhood and Vic's overly aggressive machismo, while peppering in bloody gunfights, explosions, car chases, and fistfights where Vic hits people so hard it is a wonder he doesn't decapitate them with one punch.    Teijo, of course, can shrug these haymakers off with little worry.    The funniest thing in the movie is how the filmmakers try to stage the one-on-one battles between Vic and Teijo as a fair fight.    Or even the ludicrous fistfight between Vic and Stu at the sporting goods store where they throw everything but the kitchen sink at each other and both are somehow still standing. 

Neither Bautista nor Nunjiani is asked to stretch much from their personas, but they still maintain an unusual comic chemistry which makes the ride at least tolerable for a while.    Nunjiani's understated delivery is a contrast to Vic's direct barking of monosyllabic orders.   Stuber isn't really about this mismatched pair, but instead a typical action movie featuring a pair of actors you would never expect to share top billing.