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Directed by: Adrian Grunberg
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Paz Vega, Adriana Barraza, Oscar Jaenada, Yvette Monreal, Sergio Peris-Mencheta
The Rambo sequels do not expound much on the John Rambo character, except to turn him into a killing machine a Terminator would envy. First Blood (1982) was violent, yes, but also provided the backstory of what filled Rambo with such rage. As a shunned, lonely Vietnam vet suffering from PTSD, John Rambo returned from a horrifying war to find himself an outcast in the nation he fought for. The cops abused him, yes, but Rambo was a ticking time bomb anyway.
The John Rambo of Rambo: Last Blood (we can only hope this is the last) is somewhat domesticated, living on an Arizona farm with his adopted family. Was he once a hired farmhand who ingratiated himself into a grandmother and granddaughter's life? How did this odd family situation happen? It is never explained, but that is a trivial matter compared to the rest of what's wrong with Rambo: Last Blood. For all I know, it was set in 2008's Rambo, which I haven't seen. Nothing about this Rambo sequel will compel me to circle back and visit that one.
Last Blood is a depressing bloodbath with no joy in its existence and unnecessarily excessive over-the-top violence. The first half brings thoughts of Taken (2009), the Liam Neeson movie which brought us a former CIA agent whose daughter is kidnapped in Europe and sold into the sex trade. He vows to find her and annihilate anyone associated with her abduction. He does, and the movie was violent, yes, but also entertaining. Rambo: Last Blood is moribund and morose.
Last Blood is no Taken. The teenage granddaughter (Monreal) decides to go to Mexico to confront her long lost father who abandoned her family years ago. Rambo cautions her against this, because the dude is a snake, and soon after the girl finds her dad she is kidnapped and sold to a brothel.
Rambo finds her, with a little help from a tip from the girl's "friend" who aided in her abduction. Rambo is beaten senseless by the creeps who run the human trafficking ring, and nursed back to health by an "independent reporter" (Vega), whatever that is, whose sister suffered the same fate as Rambo's adopted daughter/niece/or whatever she is.
After an unfortunate turn of events, the monosyllabic Rambo vows revenge and makes mincemeat of the traffickers by the most grotesque means possible. One guy is beheaded and later has his head chucked out a car window. Others are merely stabbed or shot. One has his chest ripped open and his heart yanked from his body. The rest are disposed of by Rambo going Home Alone on their asses by constructing booby traps galore in underground tunnels Rambo seemingly dug in his ample spare time. They amazingly seem to know exactly where to step so the traps could go off and bludgeon them to death. Worse yet, it is clearly not stunt doubles being thrashed, but cheap looking dummies.
A better ending to Rambo: Last Blood would've had Rambo diligently building his booby traps only for the baddies to no show, which would leave Rambo holding his dick and spare us the ghastly final fifteen minutes. Oh, and also the ridiculous Rambo vocal fry voice-over narration after he's littered the mountainside with bodies.
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