Directed by: Peter Hyams
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, Udo Kier, Miriam Margolyes, Rod Steiger
As plots go, End of Days is a doozy. In 1979, a child is born in the presence of a satanic cult who, as was foretold centuries ago, in twenty years in the final hour of the millennium will be impregnated by Satan and the impending birth of Satan's spawn will bring about the end of days. Until the child named Christine is ready to be served up to Satan, she is surrounded by Satan's minions posing as her stepmother, psychiatrist who tell her not to worry about having dreams in which a mysterious man is having sex with her. Christine has no knowledge of her fate and it is astounding the news never leaked.
Fast forward to late-December 1999, ex-cop turned private eye Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger) is investigating a murder in which a priest whose tongue was removed is nonetheless able to speak a warning of impending doom and is later nailed to the ceiling of his hospital room crucifixion-style. The hospital believes the guy did it to himself. Jericho doubts that, as does his wisecracking partner Chicago (Pollak) who can't imagine what forces are at work here. Meanwhile, Satan takes over the body of a well-dressed regular man (Byrne) who stalks New York looking for Christine. Jericho is able to discern Christine's name and address in roughly thirty seconds using a DMV computer and arrives at her home just in time to thwart Catholic priests (not in Satan's employ) who are trying to kill Christine in order to prevent her from falling into Satan's hands. Jericho, himself a non-believer with a grudge against God which started after his wife and daughter were killed in a home invasion, has taken it upon himself to protect Christine from the supernatural forces conspiring to make her Satan's broodmare.
This is all heavy stuff and of course preposterous. It is a fool's errand to attempt to instill logic in a movie such as End of Days, but I'll try. My understanding is Satan himself created all of these rules involving the date and time in which the dirty deed must occur. Why must it happen between 11pm and midnight on December 31, 1999? Once midnight hits and Satan fails in his mission, does he have to wait another thousand years to try this again? Satan is hamstringing himself with these limitations. You would think the all-powerful Satan would find a way to impregnate Christine without borrowing a human male body to do the dirty work.
According to Father Novak (Steiger), this all was foreseen by Gregorian monks hundreds of years ago who somehow worked out the details and also managed to invent the Gregorian calendar as a side benefit. Now, the actual end of the millennium was December 31, 2000, but Father Novak is able to sidestep this by explaining that the number of the beast is not 666 as originally assumed, but if you invert the 666, it becomes 999. Add a 1 and voila you have 1999. For those who argue that December 31, 1999 was the end of the millennium and not December 31, 2000, there is a helpful DJ providing voiceover narration who states, "Tonight is the end of the first 2000 years". However, the end of 1999 is only 1,999 years. Take that!
So why do I give End of Days two-and-a-half stars and not fewer since I spent the first four paragraphs pointing out its faults? Schwarzenegger delivers the action as only he can and the thought of Arnold defeating the Prince of Darkness is enticing. It is compelling enough to keep the viewer invested in Christine's fate. Think of End of Days as Rosemary's Baby: The Twentysomething Years.
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