The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) * * *

 

Directed by:  Guy Ritchie

Starring:  Henry Cavill, Cary Elwes, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Henry Golding, Eiza Gonzalez, Til Schweiger, Babs Olusanmokun, Freddie Fox

Truth in reviewing:  I spent about half of this movie enduring a toothache.  I crunched down on a tooth with a Tootsie Roll and ouch!  I didn't have Tylenol readily available and Orajel was still at the store, so I suffered a bit.  It probably muted my enjoyment of Guy Ritchie's latest actioner, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, which is stylish and fun.  It's a World War II precursor to James Bond based on recently declassified war files.  It can't be a coincidence that one of the members of British Intelligence is Ian Fleming.

Circa early 1942, the British decide that, in order to coax the United States into the war, they must prove that the Germans are vulnerable.  History buffs will point out that Pearl Harbor occurred on December 7, 1941 and the U.S. declared war on Japan the next day and Germany declared war on the U.S. soon after.  But, let's forget that happened and continue with the plot.  Winston Churchill tasks the British military and intelligence with putting together a group of ragtag soldiers who care about one thing:  Winning at all costs.  

Gus March-Phillips (Cavill) is the leader of the group, which includes hulking Swede Anders Lassen (Ritchson), explosives expert Freddy Alvarez (Golding), and femme fatale in training Marjorie Stewart (Gonzalez), whose job it is to seduce a rich German national (Schweiger) and allow the group to gain access to a key European port.  I doubt I'll be able to describe any Alan Ritchson role in the near future without using the word "hulking".  

My memory of what happens grows hazy as my tooth pain takes hold.  Before that unfortunate turn of events, I found myself entertained by Ungentlemanly Warfare as almost a throwback action movie where the heroes bicker and spew one-liners without being bothered by explosions, gunfire, and fistfights.  Anyone who says they would've loved to live in the Old West or other times, I ask them:  Would you want to live in a world where there is no painless dentistry?  I know my answer is no.