American Hustle (2013) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  David O. Russell

Starring:  Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner, Robert DeNiro, Louis CK

American Hustle is a movie in which characters are either conning or being conned (and perhaps both at once).    Based very loosely on the late 70s and early 80s Abscam sting operations, American Hustle elevates its people and their situations to high comedy.    Writer-director Russell takes the right approach with humor.    Being a con artist and scammer must be a lonely, pressure cooker lifestyle to lead.    One has to wonder if working for a living can possibly be as rough.    Russell sees the absurdity in this and plays straight to it.

The film centers around Irving Rosenfeld (Bale), who in the opening scene is carefully placing his toupee atop his ever-balding head.    He and his partner/lover Sydney Prosser (Adams) are assisting FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Cooper) in nabbing congressmen and other dignitaries taking bribes.    Working with a showoff hothead like Richie is wearing on them, mostly because he threatens to send the two to jail if they don't cooperate.    Things were much simpler for them when they were conning well-off, but desperate people with promises of big-time loans for a "small" non-refundable fee.    The loans rarely materialized, but they kept out of trouble until the FBI caught up to them.

Irving is also married to chain-smoking, hard-drinking, pill-popping Rosalyn (Lawrence), whose child Irving adopted and adores.     The mother, not so much.     Rosalyn keeps Irving on the line by threatening to take their child from him if he tries to divorce her.    Life was wearying enough for Irving even before the FBI came into his life.    Things only become much more complicated from there.

The FBI targets Camden mayor Carmine Polito (Renner), who is looking to build up Atlantic City's fledgling casino business and needs funding to do it.    Polito is a family man with a big heart who knows the only way to get things done is to grease the palms of those who can makes things happen.    Irving gets close to Carmine to ensure he will take an unwitting part in the sting operation.    Trouble is, Irving begins to like his target and undergoes serious inner conflict as it becomes more apparent that Carmine will go to jail for his role in bribing public officials.    Carmine is oddly the most honest person in the film, who does what he does because he loves people and wants to restore New Jersey to prominence.

The plot has further complications, as you would expect, and trying to explain those will not only spoil the fun, but will likely drive me mad.     Besides, enjoyment of American Hustle is based more on these characters and Russell's approach to them.     You may not necessarily recognize Christian Bale under the bad toupee, beard, and ever-bulging waistline.    His suits are ill-fitting and he is sloppy-looking, but he's smart and cunning.    He is able to weave his way through this maze of stress and pressure because of his street-honed instincts.     We sympathize with him because even though he makes his living out of scamming people, how did he ever suspect he would have to put up with so much?    It is a great piece of acting from Bale.   

Sydney adopts the persona of Lady Edith for the scams, but she also does it to escape being an ordinary woman from New Mexico with few prospects of success in life.    Adams is terrific here as well, mostly because she is at her heart the most conflicted of the group.     She loves Irving, but may even be falling for Richie, or is she?    Being a con artist means having to deny your true feelings in order to make the con work.    Doing that wears on Sydney, who really is only looking for safety and love, both of which are in short supply in her world.

The other extreme is Richie, a loud hothead who is using the scams to launch his FBI career.    Cooper has a blast playing him in all of his over-the-top glory.    He seems eternally frustrated, mostly because failing would ruin him, and also because he is sweet on Sydney/Lady Edith.    Richie is a morass of frustrated ambitions and bad temper under a bad perm which he lovingly tends to in his cramped apartment shared by his mother and fiancée.    He thinks he can control things, but he finds too late that he is way out of his league.    This is a trait he shares with Rosalyn, who really only wants to stay home, avoid people, and create a home with Irving.    Jennifer Lawrence creates a desperate, love-starved Rosalyn whose true feelings for Irving come out in a verbal showdown with Sydney.     We pity her, even though she blows up the microwave oven and starts fires.

Russell's gift is allowing us to care for this hodgepodge of desperate, needy people while moving the plot along to a satisfying conclusion where everyone gets what they want or gets what's coming to them.     Most of American Hustle is funny and at times outrageous, but it has to be.    We laugh so we may not cry for these people who only want to safely love someone without being conned.  









 

Dallas Buyers Club (2013) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Jean-Marc Vallee

Starring:  Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner, Griffin Dunne

Ron Woodroof was diagnosed with HIV in 1985 and given about 30 days to live.    As a straight, skirt-chasing, beer-swilling redneck, this diagnosis comes as quite a shock to him.    AIDS and HIV were considered "gay diseases" in 1985 and a death sentence also.     How could this be?    After mulling over the doctor's prognosis and research at the library, Ron comes to the realization how and why he contracted the disease.    One word signifies his feelings and it's a powerful moment in the film.

Desperate to prolong his life, Ron receives word of a new drug called AZT and works out a deal with a hospital orderly to buy a daily supply.    Once the supply dries up, Ron makes his way to Mexico, where anti-HIV drugs are prescribed and sold under the table.    After improving his health somewhat with a different medication cocktail, Ron smuggles the drugs back to Texas and begins selling them out of a motel room.     He spreads word about a "buyers club", where for $400, AIDS and HIV patients can have access to drugs not approved by the FDA.   

Ron is aided in his new business venture by Rayon (Leto), a pre-op transsexual whom Ron meets in the hospital.     Prior to Ron's diagnosis, he never would've associated with a person like Rayon, but illness makes strange bedfellows.     They not only become business partners, but friends, opening up Ron to a whole new level of understanding and compassion for his fellow AIDS sufferers.     Long outlasting his original 30-day death prognosis, Ron becomes an unwitting advocate for better, safer access to drugs which help other AIDS patients.     He doesn't do so by standing on a soapbox and holding meetings, but through legal battles with the FDA, which is forever trying to shut down his operation.    Ron is not above making deals and bending the law to ensure he and his customers get the best treatment available.   

The buyers club not only gives Ron access to better medications, but also a purpose in life which likely led to his living with AIDS for 7 years before succumbing to the disease in 1992.    In that time, Ron not only develops friendships and business relationships with those he would've shunned earlier, but he also feels the sting of exclusion and prejudice by his friends.     To his friends, Ron must be gay because, well, he has AIDS and any other conclusion would not make sense.    When his former best friend meets Rayon in a supermarket and refuses to shake his hand, Ron stands up for Rayon in a poignant way (and the application of a chicken wing armbar).   

Another intriguing friendship Ron makes is with hosptial doctor Eve Saks (Garner), who at first defends hospital policy on AZT, but then quits and joins Ron's cause.     Ron's relationship with Eve is the first relationship Ron has with a female which doesn't involve sex.    With Eve, Ron learns that women can be good for things other than the occasional pickle tickle.

Dallas Buyers Club is about Ron's growth as a human being while he fights for his life and others.    He is flawed, troubled, prideful, stubborn, and compassionate.    In other words, he's human.     McConaughey lost a significant amount of weight to give Ron his gaunt appearance, but he becomes someone we care about despite his flaws.     Leto's Rayon may appear on the outside as a stereotypical drag queen, but his loyalty to Ron is touching, especially in a scene where he begs his estranged banker father for money to keep the buyers club going.     Garner is the picture of earnestness as a doctor who realizes that she can't live with herself by blindly following hospital policy.   

Thank goodness Ron Woodroof doesn't become a hero by taking to the streets with a megaphone and organizing rallies like Abbie Hoffman.    He takes on the system in a quieter, yet no less important way.    Ron believes that a person with a terminal illness should have easy, affordable access to any treatment that could improve and prolong his/her life.     Sounds like a sensible idea, but it's not practiced.     With the dawn of Obamacare and attempts to improve this nation's healthcare system, Ron Woodroof's ideas are as timely and spot-on today as they were 25 years ago.     In a way, we're all still fighting the same fight. 

Land Of The Lost (2009) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Brad Silberling

Starring:  Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride, Matt Lauer

Anyone who ever saw an episode of the 70's TV series Land Of The Lost knows full well what to expect in the film version.     I vaguely remember the series, except that the visual effects and sets were cheesy and it was camp.     Land Of The Lost has better effects, but it is still campy fun.     I'm quite certain anyone associated with the film knew their names weren't going to be called the morning the Oscar nominations were announced and slept peacefully the night before.    

The film opens with a funny sequence involving Dr. Rick Marshall (Ferrell) coming on the Today show and being grilled by Matt Lauer over his book on time travel.     Dr. Marshall has spent $50 million in research on the possibility that portals exist which allow for time travel.     Host Matt Lauer openly scoffs Rick and this leads to a near brawl on set.     Three years pass, and Rick is now teaching science to grade schoolers to his chagrin.    A scientist kicked out of Cambridge for buying into Rick's theories approaches him and says that they could work, if he could just finish building the "tachyon meter".    The whole tachyon thing left me puzzled, but no matter.    The fact that the scientist is a fetching woman named Holly (Friel) probably inspires Rick to action more than anything else.

Soon enough, with the tachyon meter built, the two make their way to New Mexico where they believe one of the portals exists on the property of Will (McBride).     All three are transported in time (or is it an alternate dimension?) where dinosaurs roam and nearby are ruins of a motel with a pool still full of water.     How does this happen?   I couldn't explain it, but I went along with it.   

The plot, of course, becomes more cheerfully ridiculous as the movie wears on.    I cared somewhat, but I wasn't pulled along, perhaps because after a while it seemed that anything goes and there weren't any rules to play by.    Characters like Chaka, a neanderthal, inexplicably can speak English in some cases and other modern technology like a phonograph appear out of nowhere.    I'm not certain if even the screenwriters can explain that.     Since Danny McBride is in the film, there has to be an obligatory scene in which characters get high on whatever chemical is around.     Must be written into his contract. 

But despite it all, the actors are having fun and know not to take things too seriously.    We know it will all turn out all right in the end, whatever that may be.   But any movie where a book is titled, "Matt Lauer Can Suck It" can't be all bad.   

Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004) * * *

Directed by:  Adam McKay

Starring:  Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, David Koechner, Vince Vaughn, Christina Applegate

Anchorman tells the funny story of a 1970's San Diego TV news anchorman whose professional and personal life is turned upside down by the introduction of workplace diversity.    Or more specifically, the introduction of a female co-anchor.     Ron Burgundy (Ferrell) is the leader of an all-male news team, which include a macho sportscaster Champ Kind (Koechner), clueless weatherman Brick Tamland (Carrell), and ladies' man wannabe Brian Fantana (Rudd).    Unable to accept Veronica (Applegate) as an equal, they interact with her in ways that would be construed as sexual harassment today.    Despite this, Veronica and Ron fall in love while the #2 news station in town, led by egotistical Wes Mantooth (Vaughn), is trying to topple them in the ratings.

Many scenes in Anchorman are funny, including the guys' lame pick-up lines on Veronica.   ("I have a party in my pants, would you like to come?")    Brian's use of a cologne so strong "it is banned in eighteen countries" causes the workplace to evacuate due to the smell.   "It smells like Bigfoot's dick," someone observes as he's fleeing the office holding his nose.   Ron, while secretly liking Veronica, tries to impress her with his biceps and weightlifting in his office.    Champ doesn't have much success either, but how could he?    He may be half in-love with Ron.   Also funny is that Burgundy reads anything that is put on the teleprompter, which gets him in plenty of hot water.

Ferrell plays Burgundy with a porn-star mustache and a huge ego.    He is in love with himself and Ferrell has a ball playing him.     However, he isn't such a bad guy.  You can even forgive his habit of trying to impress people with the books on his shelves that he surely never read.   When Ferrell first transitioned to movies, I wasn't impressed by his comedic style, but he has grown on me.  He excels when he plays someone putting on a false front of sophistication and decorum with monstrous passions lurking underneath.   The more absurd the character, the more joy Ferrell brings to it.  

The first half of Anchorman is much funnier than the second, but there are enough laughs here to recommend it.    The characters are goofy, but likable.    There is even a quasi-violent gangland style showdown between rival TV stations where rules such as "Don't hit the face" are unwritten laws.     If you don't have a pretty face, how can expect anyone to believe you when you say things like "You stay classy San Diego."?    The satire here is scarcely ahead of the truth. 

 

Bewitched (2005) * *

Directed by:  Nora Ephron

Starring:  Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine, Kristen Chenoweth, Jason Schwartzman

Bewitched is sort of based on the late 60's TV series which starred Elizabeth Montgomery as a witch who marries a normal guy and tries to live a normal life in the suburbs.     Nora Ephron's Bewitched is about a real witch who is hired to play a witch on a reboot of the original series.     It has some laughs and charming performances, but it never ascends to anything wonderful in particular.    We're left with some cleverness, but it seems many great comic opportunities were left on the table.

The witch in question is Isabel (Kidman), who wants to leave her witchdom behind and start life as a normal woman.    Her father (Caine), doesn't approve, but she is determined to try to get things done without simply having to snap her fingers.     Meanwhile, movie star Jack Wyatt (Ferrell) is reeling from recent box-office flops and is approached to star in a remake of Bewitched.     The egomaniacal Jack agrees and behaves on set with a whole lot of star attitude.     He even sets up a cappuccino machine just for himself.      He discovers Isabel in a Hollywood cafe and convinces her to join the show as the witch Samantha, not knowing of course that Isabel is a real witch.     He does this because an unknown actress wouldn't be a threat to his star power and gives her practically no lines even know she has a lead role.

Once Isabel discovers that Jack's ploy, she decides to forego the original plan of giving up witchcraft and humiliating Jack at every turn.     This includes putting spells on him, some of which don't work as well as others.     But mysteriously, probably because the script requires them to, the two fall in love.     The love angle follows the familiar pattern of "Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, misunderstanding, temporary break-up, and then they're back together as the end credits roll."     Despite Kidman's and Ferrell's easy likability, they don't generate much chemistry.   

Ferrell manages to be likable even when he playing a complete narcissist, while Kidman is beautiful and has a smile to die for.    She also is able to wrinkle her nose better than all of the other actresses who audition for her part.     But I wasn't able to get a strong feeling one way or another about Bewitched.     There are some amusing scenes involving some knocks on Hollywood and with MacLaine as a glory-hogging co-star who may also be a witch, but after it was all said and done I felt that we've seen it all before...and better.    Especially from Nora Ephron.  

The Heat (2013) *

Directed by:  Paul Feig

Starring:  Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Demian Bichir, Michael McDonald

The Heat is a laughless comedy filled with people I didn't like in a plot I couldn't care less about.    We spend almost two hours with these people, which makes the whole thing even less tolerable.     Formula cop/buddy movies aren't anything new, but they can work if the right energy is applied and the characters are at least halfway likable.     (See Rush Hour, 48 Hrs, Midnight Run, Starsky & Hutch).      Neither applies to The Heat.

Sandra Bullock plays Sarah Ashburn, a by-the-book FBI agent who rubs everyone the wrong way, including her boss (Bichir), who sends her to Boston to track down a big-time drug dealer named Larkin.     Sarah crosses paths with Boston undercover detective Shannon Mullins (McCarthy), who is sociopathic in her treatment of suspected criminals and acts nastily to everyone she comes in contact with.     Mullins screams loudly, is unpleasant, obnoxious, and swears every other word, including using the 12-letter variety, which makes one wonder how she even passed the psychological exam they surely must give to police candidates.     Or at least I hope they do.
One thing Mullins isn't is funny.    Same goes with Ashburn, who behaves with decorum and doesn't swear, saying "s" and "f" instead of the associated curse words.   

The mismatched pair are after the same dealer and reluctantly team up.    You know they will hate each other at first, then after a truce will become best buds.     That's ok if the people were even slightly likable.    But because Shannon is so over-the-top mean and Sarah is over-the-top prissy that we simply can't believe their partnership.     It's also custom in movies like this that the do-gooder will learn to loosen up via getting drunk or high with his new friend.    I'd love to see one movie where the do-gooder actually gets the slob to straighten up.     If there ever was a slob that needed straightening up, it's Shannon.

Another woeful miscalculation is the introduction of Shannon's family.    We see how Shannon learned to be profane and rude from being around these people, since they are presented as such grating loudmouths.     I actually would've preferred Shannon to be an orphan since her family adds so little except to make things even more unpleasant.  

The Heat plods toward its conclusion and contains no laughs.    It's a dead zone, forcing its actors to inhabit thoroughly uninteresting and nasty characters in thoroughly uninteresting situations.    There is nothing funny about a female cop who pounds on people and screams obscenities.    There is nothing funny about a stiff FBI agent who tries to do everything diplomatically in contrast.     There is nothing funny about bad guys getting shot in the groin, or even threatened to be shot in the groin.  
In fact, finding anything amusing about The Heat is more fruitless than trying to find Larkin. 

Little Nikita (1988) * 1/2

Directed by:  Richard Benjamin

Starring:  Sidney Poitier, River Phoenix, Richard Jenkins, Caroline Kava, Richard Bradford, Richard Lynch

Little Nikita was released as the Cold War was beginning to lose steam.    There is a Soviet villain in this film, but also a Soviet who says, "Russians don't kill their children."    And we thought all Russians were soulless monsters.    Within three years, the USSR ceased to exist and Hollywood was looking for a new country that exports villains.

This film, directed by Richard Benjamin, stars Sidney Poitier as an FBI agent tracking a rogue Soviet agent named "Scuba" (Lynch), who wears sandals everywhere and knocks off Soviet sleeper agents.     Scuba demands money from the Soviets and in exchange will spare the remaining agents, while Poitier wants to capture Scuba for more personal reasons.     Enter Jeff Grant (Phoenix), a teen who applies to the Air Force Academy near San Diego and whose application raises a serious red flag with Poitier. 

Jeffrey lists his parents as "Richard and Elizabeth Grant" and the computer returns a message stating "deceased 1891".    Hmm, that's peculiar.    Not that the Grants seemingly died in 1891, but that the computer would think that there were no other Richard or Elizabeth Grants anywhere since.     I'll bet Poitier could've flipped open a phone book and found 20 Richard Grants and 20 Elizabeth Grants in just San Diego alone.   

Poitier (whose character's name is Roy Paramenter) discovers that Jeff's parents are really Soviet sleeper agents themselves.     For those unaware, sleeper agents are agents whose mission is to pose as Americans until they are contacted by their superiors to carry out an assignment.      In the case of the Grants, they had lived in America for twenty years and ran their own nursery.   Twenty years?    Their superior Karpov (Bradford) shouldn't have been too surprised that the Grants were less than willing to give up their happy life to help him kill Scuba.    After all, twenty years is an awfully long time to be on call.     Nights at the opera are much more favorable than chasing around a killer. 

Things get progressively sillier and we kinda sorta know the only person who stands to lose in this whole thing is Scuba, who has upset the FBI and the KGB in one fell swoop.      After chases and many scenes in which people are holding guns to other people's heads, the film ends happily except for Scuba.      There are many veteran character actors here who know how to put their head down and plow forward even when faced with an absurd plot.     The box-office focus was likely on Phoenix, who at the time was a rising teen film star.     He shows none of the poise and ability here like he did in Running On Empty, released later in 1988 and which garnered him his only Oscar nomination.   

And what's with the name Roy Paramenter?   Couldn't the screenwriters have at least come up with a less laborious name than that for Poitier's character?     And how did the filmmakers shoehorn in Poitier's affair with one of Jeffrey's teachers?     Those scenes play like they were dropped in from another movie.    

Metro (1997) * * *

Directed by:  Thomas Carter

Starring:  Eddie Murphy, Carmen Ejogo, Michael Rappaport, Michael Wincott, Paul Ben-Victor

What happened to Eddie Murphy?    He's one of the most talented and funniest of comedians, yet hasn't made a movie near worthy of his talent in nearly 15 years.    (Yes, I'm even counting Dreamgirls and I'm not counting Shrek and Shrek 2).     But prior to his current drought, he stretched himself starring in movies like Metro, a formula action thriller made fresh by Murphy's energy.    He jumps headlong into it and makes Metro work.

Murphy is Scott Roper, a San Francisco police hostage negotiator who is smart, seasoned, and keeps his cool.     One robbery involving millions of dollars in jewels proves to be especially tricky, since the thief, Mike Korda (Wincott), doesn't have any wish to negotiate.    Roper asks Korda for a hostage in good faith, Korda hands him a package with a severed ear from one of the hostages.    Korda's escape leads to an extended chase sequence involving Roper, Korda, a trolley, and numerous smashed up cars.    That is only the setup for a cat-and-mouse game between Korda and Roper.    Oh, and Korda also killed Roper's partner earlier in the film.   

Korda is played by Michael Wincott, an actor who has specialized in portraying nasty villains over the years.   I've seen him in Talk Radio, Robin Hood: Prince Of Theives, The Three Musketeers, The Crow, and Along Came A Spider.     Each time, he was creepily effective.     He's been in non-creepy roles in films like The Doors, but even then I was halfway expecting him to start offing people.     I don't see as much of him these days, however, and it's a shame.

Murphy's role isn't played for laughs much, but he is still very much enjoying himself while being convincing as an action star.    His girlfriend Ronnie (Ejogo) is around long enough to be kidnapped by Korda and held for ransom in a particularly inventive way.     Despite her thankless role, she is enchanting, even though we know her primary function is to be in peril so Roper can save her.   

Perhaps Eddie Murphy should've hired himself out for movies like Metro instead of family-friendly films which all but muted him.     He is an actor who works better with an edge.     In movies like A Thousand Words, The Haunted Mansion, Daddy Day Care, Norbit, etc., he is caught in dull, nowhere roles which don't allow him to be funny.     Metro proves that Murphy, even in a formula action picture, still possesses the stuff that made him one of the biggest box-office draws of all time.      

Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth (2013) * 1/2 (Shown on HBO)

Directed by:  Philip Marcus

Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth is the filmed version of Tyson's one-man Broadway show in which he narrates his own life story.     Hitting the highlights and many of the lowlights of his life, Tyson pulls no punches and is unflinchingly honest and self-deprecating.     The issue is that Tyson is not an eloquent speaker and hard to understand in many spots, which is crippling in any public speaking event, let alone a one-man Broadway show.    He rattles off words so fast in some spots that I thought he was trying to imitate the "world's fastest speaker" from the 1980's FedEx commercials. 

Dressed in an ill-fitting white suit, Tyson takes the audience through his troubled life with images and film projected on the backdrop behind him.    These provide some much-needed visual cues during the many instances in which I was completely lost trying to understand Tyson.    His face and brow are drenched in sweat (which he wipes often).     I'm wondering if the heat from the spotlights plus the suit made him uncomfortably hot.   

Tyson also makes the mistake often of trying to talk over audience applause and reactions.     Instead of using this as a natural break from speaking, he continues plowing through his monologue.    In other instances, the background music is playing so loud that it drowns Tyson out completely.     Tyson devotes a lot of time to describing an out-of-ring altercation with Mitch Green,  a journeyman fighter whom Tyson also defeated in the ring.     There is plenty of profanity, racial slurs, and homophobic remarks used in this segment, which are really the only words I was able to comprehend.     This lengthy story goes nowhere. 

There are stories Tyson tells that have a "I guess you had to be there" feel to them, such as a story in which former wife Robin Givens was dating a then-unknown Brad Pitt.     If there was a payoff to this story, I missed it.    Others lack a payoff too.     Tyson also proclaims his innocence over his 1992 rape conviction which put him in prison for 3 years, but instead of plumbing this period of his life for insight, he instead focuses on a visit by Florence Henderson that never came to fruition.  

Tyson simply lacks the verbal grace to effectively communicate.     Certainly Tyson's life is an interesting one and needed to be told, but I wish Morgan Freeman was nearby to narrate.     Tyson's story is better told than someone other than himself.    In a moment of candor, Tyson confesses that Spike Lee told him that when he speaks he needs an interpreter.    How right he was. 

Evil Under The Sun (1982) * * *

Directed by:  Guy Hamilton

Starring:  Peter Ustinov, Maggie Smith, Diana Rigg, Roddy McDowall, James Mason, Sylvia Miles, Jane Birkin, Nicholas Clay, Denis Quilley, Colin Blakely

Movies featuring Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot follow a traditional formula that never grows tired.     I thoroughly enjoyed Death On The Nile and Murder On The Orient Express.   Evil Under The Sun, which takes place on exotic island in the middle of some sun-drenched sea, also works well.

The formula goes like this:

*  The victim is usually someone who is unlikable and has made life miserable for many other people.

*  Most of those people wind up on the same boat/hotel/island etc. as the victim, making them suspects when the person is ultimately murdered.

*  Poirot, the astute, portly Belgian detective, is coincidentally at the same boat/hotel/island etc. as the victim and the suspects, so he conducts an investigation.

*  After interviewing suspects, all of which provide seemingly ironclad alibis, Poirot gathers all of the suspects in one room and presents a detailed lecture of his findings.     He toys with the suspects until finally revealing the true murderer.

Evil Under The Sun follows the formula to a tee (almost):

*  The victim is Arlene Marshall, an actress who has pissed off many people and cost a lot of others money.

*  The people she pissed off are all at the same island where she is vacationing.    They include:  her husband to whom she has been unfaithful (Quilley), two theater producers who lost money when Arlene pulled out of their play at the last minute (Mason and Miles), a gossip columnist who Arlene is suing (McDowall), a suave philanderer who openly flirts with Arlene in front of his meek wife, the hotel owner who is a former rival of Arlene's (Smith), and a nobleman who lent Arlene his priceless diamond which she never returned.  

*  Poirot investigates the murder (it seems he can never take a real vacation since someone always winds up dead) and listens to the alibis, knowing of course that many of the suspects are lying or have reason to.  

*  Poirot then gathers the suspects in a room, where they wait eagerly to hear the outcome and the identity of the murderer, who is....

I won't dare reveal who the murderer is, but there is a slight twist.    The revelation of his findings is merely the setup in which to entrap the killer.    Or is it?    It is quite ingenious.

Ustinov has a ball with the role and the actors also have fun with juicy roles.    Why not?  It's not every day you are considered a murder suspect. 

Quick Change (1990) * *

Directed by:  Howard Franklin and Bill Murray

Starring:  Bill Murray, Geena Davis, Randy Quaid, Jason Robards, Phil Hartman, Philip Bosco

Quick Change begins promisingly, but becomes tiresome.     There is intrigue in the first half-hour or so, however, we grow impatient awaiting the inevitable outcome.     Anchored by Bill Murray, there are some deft comic performances here, which only underlines the need for strong material to keep us engaged.

The opening scenes show Murray dressed as a balloon-carrying clown on a New York subway.    He marches into a Manhattan bank, but not to deliver the balloons.     He is there to rob it and keeps the customers and employees as hostages in the vault.    Before you can say Dog Day Afternoon, the bank is surrounded by media and police, led by Chief Ratzinger (Robards), who negotiates with Murray on the phone to ensure the safety of the hostages.

The ace up Grimm's (Murray's character's name) sleeve is that his cohorts Phyllis (Davis) and Loomis (Quaid) are also posing as hostages, so once Grimm agrees to release three hostages, he ditches the makeup and clown suit and leaves the bank with his friends under the guise of being released hostages.     They have $1 million taped to their bodies.    It's a pretty brilliant heist and the trio plan to escape to Fiji and never return.      With Ratzinger believing Grimm is still inside the bank, the three can easily escape, right?

The escape is more complicated than expected, with Grimm and company running into roadblock after roadblock in their effort to get to the airport to board their flight.     Ratzinger soon realizes that Grimm is no longer inside the bank and begins a citywide manhunt as well.     As each situation is thrown in to delay Grimm's escape, Quick Change begins to unravel.       There are so many situations the trio has to wiggle out of that the film is no longer amusing, but tedious.     Suspense gives way to impatience, which is deadly for a film like Quick Change.

Murray delivers an even-keeled performance in the midst of the madness.    He's chock full of cynical asides, but never allows us to see his desperation.     Quaid, as Loomis, has an almost childlike devotion to Grimm and will run through walls for him.     This is probably why Grimm keeps him around long after he should've told him he's on his own.     Davis' Phyllis is torn between her love for Grimm and her second thoughts about leaving, especially since she's pregnant and hasn't told Grimm the news.      Robards gives us a Ratzinger who remains wearily, but doggedly determined to capture Grimm, mostly because he is retiring and doesn't want his legacy tainted by a "bank-robbing clown."

Despite the good performances, I think Quick Change simply becomes bogged down by its own complications, which seem more and more absurd upon reflection.  

Next Of Kin (1989) * *

Directed by:  John Irvin

Starring:  Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Helen Hunt, Ben Stiller, Adam Baldwin, Michael J. Pollard, Andreas Katsulas

Despite having a noticable limp, Patrick Swayze became a pretty big action film star in his day.     Fueled by the success of Dirty Dancing, Swayze would star in Road House and then this film, both released in 1989.     Next Of Kin is a slight improvement over Dirty Dancing because, unlike Dirty Dancing, I didn't absolutely hate it.

Next Of Kin is a silly, but occasionally entertaining film about a Chicago cop caught between two worlds:  His Kentucky backwoods upbringing and "civilized" Chicago, where he is married to a concert violinist (Hunt) and lives in a palatial apartment which shows they're doing well money-wise.
Swayze's Truman Gates is a smart detective whose brother is killed by an up-and-coming local mobster (Baldwin) attempting to hijack his truck.    When he arrives in Kentucky for the funeral, Truman is treated coldly by his family, especially his brother Briar (Neeson), with whom he has a long-standing cold war.     Briar wants cold-blooded, violent revenge, while Truman tries to assure his family in vain that the Chicago police will handle it.      Briar doesn't wait around for the ink to dry on the police reports before he treks to Chicago to find the killers.

It doesn't come as much of a surprise that Briar and Truman will reconcile their differences as they track down their brother's killer.    If you're expecting the rest of the Gates clan to sit idly by on the sidelines, then you're watching the wrong movie.    There are a whole bunch of chases, shootouts, and a climactic fight in a dark graveyard which puts Truman's archery skills to good use.     It's also interesting to note that none of the actors who play Italian-American mobsters (other than the stooges who exist only to be targets for Briar and/or Truman) in this film are not Italian-American.  

The film is standard in every atom of its being.    It doesn't deviate from the road even a little to show us some spontaneity or life.    There aren't any flashes of sly humor or goofy fun.     Arnold Schwarzenegger was always at home in action films because he knew not to take them too seriously.    If Swayze starred in Commando, I doubt he would've been able to handle lines like, "I like you Sully, that's why I'm going to kill you last." like Arnold did.     I think he was more comfortable dancing.       

Full Metal Jacket (1987) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Stanley Kubrick

Starring:  Matthew Modine, Vincent D'Onofrio, R. Lee Ermey, Adam Baldwin, Arliss Howard

Full Metal Jacket is a tale of two halves.   The first half is engrossing and powerful, the second half is a meandering trek through Vietnam that drags on and on.    I almost wish Kubrick ended the film once basic training was over.   Sure, it would've been about an eighty-minute film, but less is definitely more in this case.

The film opens at Marines basic training in Parris Island, SC during the Vietnam War.    The privates are led by Sgt. Hartman (Ermey), who molds the men into killing machines through intimidation, verbal and physical abuse, and colorful language.    The bane of Hartman's (and the platoon's) existence is Pvt. Leonard Lawrence (D'Onofrio) (nicknamed Pyle), an out-of-shape, incompetent grunt who can't seem to do anything right.   Pyle, however, is revealed to be an expert marksman, which is the only thing keeping him around.  

Pyle endures plenty of abuse from his drill sergeant and from his platoon mates, who are tired of having to do 100 push-ups every time he screws up.     Their method of dealing with Pyle would make Col. Nathan Jessup from A Few Good Men proud.     We then see the eerie transformation of Pvt. Pyle from bumbling fool to psychopath.     This transformation leads to a violent payoff which I will not reveal here.

The performances during the basic training scenes are very good.    Sgt. Hartman is a no-nonsense career Marine who proudly conveys that Lee Harvey Oswald learned to how to kill Kennedy in the Marine Corps.     Ermey, a real-life former drill sergeant, is authentic to the core and fascinating to watch.    We also see the genesis of Matthew Modine's Pvt. Joker, who tries to help Leonard with kid gloves, but eventually has to take them off in a critical scene.     Kubrick has complete mastery of the basic training segment of the film.

Then comes the second half, in which Pvt. Joker is a military journalist in Vietnam enlisted to track a Viet Cong sniper.    The Vietnam scenes were filmed on sets in England, so Vietnam looks unconvincing.    The only indoor scenes take place in the military newspaper's conference room.    Most of the action takes place around ruined buildings, but we're constantly aware we are seeing sets which distracts from the effect.     The people we meet in Vietnam are nowhere near as interesting as Sgt. Hartman and Pvt. Pyle, so we spend plenty of time around people we don't care about.   

Pvt. Joker goes through his own transformation from innocent to heartless killer, but to a more muted effect.    Everything about the second half of the film is muted.    Things move along at a plodding pace and there is little payoff, unlike the earlier scenes which built to a strong climax.    It's really a shame that Full Metal Jacket is a movie that feels like two different movies that have nothing in common with each other.    

W. (2008) * * *

Directed by:  Oliver Stone

Starring:   Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks, James Cromwell, Richard Dreyfuss, Thandie Newton, Jeffrey Wright, Scott Glenn, Toby Jones

It seems George W. Bush may have never been President if he had a modicum of success in any of his previous careers or if he had a different father.     W., directed by Oliver Stone, doesn't take sides, but observes how growing up in the shadow of a famous father can be a help and a detriment.    For George W. Bush, it was plenty of both.  

W. was the first biopic released about a President who still occupied the Oval Office at the time of its release.     Bush was a polarizing figure:  A champion to the religious right and an enemy of the left.     His approval rating soared after his initial attack on Afghanistan following 9/11, but plummeted to unchartered depths as it became known that there were no WMDs in Iraq.     W. focuses on Bush's college years at Yale to the beginning of the Iraq War.     We see a man battling demons in the form of drugs, alcohol, and an inability to live up to his family name.     We then see a man who becomes a born-again Christian and complete successful runs for Governor of Texas and then the White House.     What drives him to take positions that are well beyond his level of competence to handle?     In positions of power, he is mostly a "my way or the highway" type of leader who surrounds himself with people who are far more competent than he.    He tends not to listen to them anyway, believing that Jesus will provide him with the answers.  

The strength of W. lies not only in the performances, but in Stone's decision not to treat his subject as a clown or a tragic figure.    There are elements of both and Stone allows us to make the decisions for ourselves on our feelings towards him.     The younger Bush believes himself to be a man of the people and he somehow conveys that belief to voters.     Perhaps if Bush didn't hook up with strategist Karl Rove (Jones), he likely would be stuck running unsuccesfully for Congress in small Texas districts.     A strength Bush has seems to be surrounding himself with the right people to pull the strings and allow him to believe he is in charge.     His relationship with his VP Dick Cheney (Dreyfuss) is proof of that.    Cheney proposes ideas and advice to Bush as if he hasn't already decided how things will be handled, especially following 9/11.     Bush sternly reminds him who the President is, which Cheney takes under advisement, but otherwise doesn't heed his boss' warnings.

As Bush, Brolin brings us a person at war with himself.     He loves his father, but resents the large shadow he casts.   His decisions to run for governor and President are based largely on attempts to outdo his dad.    Starting a war with Iraq is seen less as a military strategy and more as one more way to one-up his old man.    James Cromwell plays George H.W. Bush as a man who believes the family name must be carried with pride and dignity and handles himself as such.    Was the real H.W. Bush this squeaky clean, considering his history in politics and the CIA?    Not likely, but Cromwell's performance presents a strong counterpoint to his son's recklessness. 

I was a bit disappointed in Stone's characterization of Laura Bush (Banks), who is seen as blindly supportive and loyal to her husband.     This leads to a bland, perfunctory onscreen relationship.    Bush's mother (Ellen Burstyn) also isn't given much to do except referee arguments between the older and younger Bush.    Throw in the ineffectual Condoleeza Rice (Newton), and we see that the women in Bush's life don't have much to say or have little impact.     I'm sure this is not the case, but it's disappointing that Stone chose to downplay this angle.

Nonetheless, W. is a strong film which asks us to identify with, but not excuse Bush.    The former President will remain a controversial figure for some time.     History will dictate where he falls in the pecking order of our Presidents, but W. is at least able to provide some insight into a man more complex than anyone previously thought.

The Goodbye Girl (1977) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Herbert Ross

Starring: Richard Dreyfuss, Marsha Mason, Quinn Cummings, Paul Benedict

Neil Simon's The Goodbye Girl is a light, witty, and ultimately very funny romantic comedy.  It stars Richard Dreyfuss in his Oscar-winning role as Elliott Garfield, an actor forced to share a New York apartment with the ex-girlfriend of the man who sublet the apartment to him.     Paula McFadden's (Mason, Simon's wife at the time) day starts out horribly.   Her live-in actor boyfriend dumps her to go make a film in Italy, leaving her and her daughter Lucy (Cummings) to fend for themselves.     Later that night, a bearded stranger knocks on their door claiming to have sublet the apartment.   He's drenched from downpouring rain and didn't expect any complications to his living arrangements.  

After a few minutes of verbal sparring, the two come to an agreement and Elliott is allowed to stay.    Things don't go easily at first.    Elliott is an actor himself, working on an off-Broadway production of Richard III that is unlike any ever made.    He also meditates loudly at 6am and otherwise bugs Paula with his very existence.     Lucy likes him, however, and acts as the catalyst to bring them together romantically, which is to be expected.    

The Goodbye Girl has a lot of inspired humor, including the aforementioned Richard III production in which Elliott is forced to play the character as an over-the-top, almost stereotypical homosexual.    "Let's not be afraid to be bold," says Mark (Benedict), the director of the production which is almost assured to end in disaster.     Elliott isn't fond of the play either:   "Gay liberation is going to hang me from Shakespeare's statue by my genitalia."    Dreyfuss plays Elliott with exuberant energy and a true ear for Simon's dialogue.    He plays a guy who loves being himself and thinks nothing of playing guitar naked in the middle of the night.   His response to Paula when she complains: "Take two sleeping pills and stick one in each ear."  

Simon's script is chock full of witticisms and one-liners.   Are normal people this quick on their feet?  Probably not, but it sure makes for an entertaining repartee between Dreyfuss and Mason.  Things get complicated (or perhaps uncomplicated) when Elliott and Paula fall in love.   I wasn't entirely convinced by them as a couple.   They fall in love because the script tells them they should, but I just wasn't feeling it between them.    

However, I didn't allow that to lessen my experience of watching the movie.    It's a smart comedy.  I enjoyed it and I enjoyed the actors having a ball with Simon's dialogue.   Yet, it wouldn't have bothered me in the least if Paula and Elliott simply wound up as close friends. 

Volunteers (1985) * *

Directed by:  Nicholas Meyer

Starring:  Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, John Candy, Tim Thomerson, George Plimpton, Gedde Watanabe

Volunteers is a comedy that reunites Tom Hanks and John Candy following their successful pairing in 1984's Splash.     Those expecting a film as funny as Splash will be disappointed.     Candy receives second billing, but he and Hanks have few scenes together.     In fact, Candy isn't in the film much at all, so he tries to bring his trademark genial good humor to an unnecessary character.     Hanks carries most of the load, but he is burdened with a script that still needed more time to bake. 

The film feels like a quickly rushed project attempting to cash in on the success of the Candy/Hanks pairing.     The actors try their best, but we're left feeling that the film had no real reason to be made.    I'll venture onward with a plot synopsis.     The film opens in 1962 with Yale graduate Lawrence Bourne III (Hanks) owing $28,000 to local gamblers.     Desperate not to get his legs broken, he asks his father for help, but is quickly rebuffed.     Hanks flees Connecticut and races to New York, where his roommate who has joined the fledgling Peace Corps is boarding a plane bound for Thailand.     Lawrence trades places with his friend by offering him his snazzy sports car and off to Thailand he goes.  

Lawrence is seated next to Tom Tuttle (Candy), who throughout the movie refers to himself as "Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington".    He is red-blooded American who enthusiastically believes in mom, apple pie, and the American way.    Lawrence's attentions are soon diverted to Beth Wexler (Wilson) and after hitting on her, she invites him to get out of her life.     Since Hanks and Wilson are the male and female leads, they are bound to become lovers by movie's end and Volunteers offers no surprises there.

The Thai villagers really don't know what to make of the Peace Corps volunteers.    One villager (Watanabe) helpfully speaks English and calls Bourne "asshole" in an affectionate sort of way.    Soon, all are in agreement to help construct a bridge over a nearby river, which is also of great interest to a local opium dealer, the local Communist guerilla army which kidnaps Tuttle, and the CIA.    Their interests are, shall we say, mutual.    Bourne is coerced into assisting the opium dealer with a plane ticket home and enough money to cover his debts once the bridge is completed.

I don't know if the film was intended to be a spoof of The Bridge on the River Kwai or an homage.   We pretty much know the fate of the bridge early on and everything that happens leads up to the inevitable conclusion.     The characters act ridiculous without really being funny.    Hanks projects a wannabe suave Ivy Leaguer with a thick New England accent, but he really is left dangling out there trying desperately to be funny.     Candy undergoes a transformation while being held captive into a red-blooded Communist, but that doesn't work either.    In fact, Candy's entire character seems like an afterthought.     Maybe that is why he announces himself as "Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington" so often: to remind us that he is still in the movie.    Watanabe's function is to point out what Hanks, Candy, and Wilson are doing and saying wrong when communicating with the villagers.   

Oddly enough, the brief segment in 1980's Airplane! spoofing the Peace Corps is funnier than anything in Volunteers.     With the talent assembled, there could've been a decent comedy here, but everyone is adrift in a film that doesn't know what it really wants to be. 

The Purge (2013) * 1/2

Directed by:  James Demonaco

Starring:  Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Sylvester

The Purge begins with a premise and introduces a moral dilemma for its characters that it doesn't bother to see through to a conclusion.     It becomes a slasher film with lots of blood, stabbings, and shootings.   It is interested more in having things jump out at people in the dark.     The Purge is probably a film that wowed 'em at the pitch meeting, but the finished product shows plenty of things wrong in the execution.

It is America in 2022.    Crime rates are down to about 1% and the economy is booming, mostly because the U.S. Government has sanctioned an annual ritual called The Purge, in which all crime is made legal for a 12-hour period, including murder.     The government believes that this annual purge will allow for people to rid themselves of their pent-up hostility and thus reduce crime.     I'm not sure how many psychologists would agree with this assessment, but we'll go with it.    I won't even factor in the possibility of retaliatory crimes following the purge and the untold amounts of damage which will result in claims that bankrupt the nation's insurance companies.     I'll just be a good sport and plow ahead.

The film focuses on the Sandin family, with father James (Hawke) as a rich security system salesman
who sells high-tech systems that will protect families from nights like the purge.    He has sold one to every family in his affluent neighborhood and, as he is building a new wing to his home, his neighbors can't help but look on in envy and feel that he is somehow profiting off of them.   Well, duh.    But at least he's selling them something that might keep them safe or heaven forbid save their lives.    Could you imagine the shit he would have to hear about if he were a tobacco company executive?

James' family includes his wife Mary (Headey), who looks kinda on the fence about this whole purge thing, and his two children Zoe (Kane) and Charlie (Burkholder), who plays around with a creepy robot on wheels that sneaks up on people.    James is a supporter of the purge, mostly because it enriches him when he sells the security systems.    He wishes, however, to hunker down and ride out the night in his vault-like home.   With the house on lockdown, the Sandins are happy to ride out the mayhem.    However, Zoe's boyfriend is in the house and wants to have a talk with her dad, who doesn't like him very much.    The boyfriend soon gives Dad a very good reason not to like him.

Charlie, who questions why his parents support the purge, sees a wounded black man screaming for help on the street and decides to let the stranger in.     The stranger is bloodied and beaten, but is he really a victim of crime or is he hatching an elaborate plan to kill the Sandins?     That question is answered when a polite stranger knocks on the door with an army of masked loonies requesting that the Sandins turn over the man they let in.     It seems the man was their intended victim and he escaped, so they want him turned over so they could finish their "right to purge".    The polite guy isn't given a name, but with his slicked back blonde hair, fraternity jacket, manners, and arch dialogue, he may as well be wearing a "Hi, I'm a villain," shirt. 

The moral dilemma is set up now.   Do the Sandins simply hand over the stranger to the polite psychopath to die, or do they risk their lives to protect him because it's the right thing to do?   Another question I have is:  Can't the masked loonies and the polite guy simply find another victim instead of wasting time trying to get at this one?    Then again, applying logic to a night where crime is legal and people destroy things is probably the last thing on anyone's mind.

Up until this point, I was with the movie.    I wanted to see where it would go and I was intrigued, but then the film quickly devolves into a violent mess.     The black man is never developed into anyone we should care about and wasn't even given a name.      The masked people somehow manage to get a hold of a tank which plows through the locked down doors and windows and the bloodbath begins.    What a letdown.    People die in the bloodiest and most brutal ways.    The envious neighbors even join in on the excitement.    The Sandins aren't developed into people we should identify with either. 

The film builds to a certain point of suspense and then becomes a high-concept slasher film.    We begin to see holes in the premise we might've overlooked if the movie decided somehow to deal with them.     For instance, the neighbors join in on the attempt to kill the Sandins for reasons already specified.      Do things just go back to normal after the purge is over?     Do they all live and let live until the next year's events?    If I were the Sandins, I would move away ASAP.    And why do the people willing to kill suddenly begin to act like they are in a hypnotic trance?    And is all of the mayhem and crime caused during the purge factored into that alleged 1% crime rate?     Somehow, I think that number is very, very skewed.



 

Thor: The Dark World (2013) * 1/2

Directed by:  Alan Taylor

Starring:  Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba, Stellan Skarsgaard, Kat Dennings, Christopher Eccleston

I didn't see the first Thor, but I did see The Avengers and I kinda sorta know the story of Thor, which was continued in The Avengers.     Thor: The Dark World also provides a brief synopsis of the events leading up to now, narrated by Anthony Hopkins.    So, with myself fairly well caught up, I kicked back to enjoy Thor: The Dark World, but I soon realized that I was not in for a pleasant experience.     The movie quickly grows into a loud, confusing mess.    I needed Hopkins to narrate another synopsis at about the midway point in an effort to sort out the chaos.

Thor: The Dark World is chaotic and looks busy, but it's all sound and fury signifying nothing.     Things blow up and people are killed, but there is little to care about.    The only slight interest involves Thor recuriting his mortal enemy (his jailed brother Loki) to assist in his fight against the evil Malekeith (Eccleston), who plans to plunge the universe into eternal darkness and destroy everything, I think.    Will Loki turn on Thor?   Can Thor trust him?    The answers are murky. 

Question:   If Malekeith succeeds in his plan to destroy the universe or plunge it into darkness, what exactly will he do with his time for the rest of eternity?     I think he is really setting his sights too high.     Since it seems Malekeith lives simply to make others miserable or destroy them, he should maybe start out small, like maybe turning the first few galaxies into black holes or something.    Then, he'll have more goals to work towards.    

No one in Thor: The Dark World has much personality.    Thor (Hemsworth) is a one-dimensional bohemoth who recites platitudes about honor and doing the right thing when he isn't destroying things with his mighty hammer.     He's a bore.    Pretty much everyone in Asgard is boring.    Loki seems to have the most fun and he's in prison.    Probably because he won't need to have any lengthy conversations with his fellow Asgardians.    

The Earthlings aren't much better.    Dr. Jane Foster (Portman), Thor's love interest from the first film, is back and discovers "ether", the substance Malekeith wants which takes over people's bodies.    She is also studying The Convergence along with Dr. Eric Selvig (Skarsgaard), who was arrested for running naked around Stonehenge.    It is never fully explained why he was doing this.   The Convergence, by the way, is...well, I can't exactly say for sure.    I'm sure even if I were told what it is, it likely wouldn't enhance my enjoyment of the movie anyway.     Also on hand is Darcy (Dennings), whose job is to be Jane's snarky assistant and resident wiseass.    

The world of Thor is solemn and rather humorless.     It's a comic book movie, but boy is it drowning in its own seriousness.      The chases and battles between worlds are hard to follow and the ending guarantees a third installment, although I think I've had quite enough of Thor and everything Asgardian.      Maybe a second viewing will clear up the plot for me, but that's too high a price to pay for clarity.  

Novocaine (2001) * * *

Directed by:  David Atkins

Starring:  Steve Martin, Helena Bonham-Carter, Laura Dern, Elias Koteas, Lynne Thigpen, Scott Caan, Kevin Bacon

Novocaine is a suspenseful thriller treated with a light comic touch.    It winds its way through its plot meticulously, throwing in plenty of twists and turns so the outcome doesn't resemble anything close to the beginning.     We think we know where it's headed, but the more we think we know the less we actually do.     We find ourselves sympathizing with the hero, an affluent dentist named Frank Sangster (Martin) who finds himself sinking deeper and deeper into trouble he really could've avoided in the first place.    Or could he have?   

Martin also narrates the film, using tooth decay as an example of how his seemingly perfect life rotted from the inside out after he encounters a goofy patient named Susan (Bonham-Carter).    He is drawn to her, even though he is engaged to his ever-doting assistant Jean (Dern).   She needs a root canal and asks for Demerol for the pain.   Despite his suspicions that Susan is just after drugs,  Sangster prescribes five pills, which by the time she fills the prescription has ballooned to fifty.    Even though he knows he's been had, he can't control his lust for her when she shows up very, very late for her appointment the next day.     Why is he attracted to Susan when Jean seems perfect?   Maybe that's the answer. 

Further complicating matters are Dr. Frank's ne'er do well brother Harland (Koteas), who gets stoned and paints Frank's kitchen red; as well as Susan's brother Dwayne (Caan), a violent hothead drug addict whose relationship with his sister may be more complicated than it at first seems.    For Frank, though, all of this business with drugs, double-crossing, and violence is tough to handle, but it also provides a dose of much-needed excitement to his pristine world.     Of course, if you want to call becoming an eventual murder suspect excitement.

Novocaine is a dark comedy and film noir all wrapped up in one package.     Characters who seem like victims in an insane plot turn out to have much more involvement than at first expected.     People like Susan, who at first seems to be the catalyst for all of the trouble that follows, may actually be a victim herself of a complex plan.     The film is fun despite its darker view of human nature.    Perhaps casting Martin as the lead adds to that.    We know Steve Martin from his years of standup and screen work, which means things will somehow turn out all right.     We also hope that it does.  

Bonham-Carter also creates a character that we think we know and judge her accordingly, but reveals depths and tenderness we didn't expect.     Laura Dern is tall, blonde, has a perfect smile, and is anal-retentive, but perhaps too safe for Dr. Frank.    Or is she?   

Novocaine enjoys setting things up to a point where we think we know what will happen and then pulls the rug from under us.    Not all at once, but little by little, to the point where we can't trust our footing.     That's the fun part. 

Last Vegas (2013) * *

Directed by:  Jon Turtletaub


Starring:  Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline, Mary Steenburgen, Jerry Ferrara

Last Vegas has four Oscar-winning actors (five if you count Mary Steenburgen) together onscreen for the first time.    They seem to be having fun, although it's tough to tell with DeNiro, who these days has a permanent look of someone who just smelled a dirty diaper.   But the movie is slight.    It has a few laughs, generated mostly from the good nature and timing of the actors, but overall it's rather thin soup.  

Thin soup is fine for comedies if they are funny.    Last Vegas has some intermittent chuckles, but nothing truly memorable.     Naturally, there are jokes about age, Viagra, and sex, which are to be expected.    Most of them are routine.   Most of the film is routine and uninspired, although the actors try their best to elevate it.

Because many of these actors have built-in personas, their characters are painted in broad strokes.    Douglas plays Billy, the gray-haired, tanned millionaire with charm and a million-dollar smile.    Think of Gordon Gekko moving to Malibu and you have Billy.     DeNiro is Paddy, a lonely widower who sits in his apartment all day mourning his dead spouse.     I've already discussed his countenance.   Freeman is Archie, who recently had a stroke and is treated like a child by his overprotective son.    He is wise and learned about the world, much like Freeman in nearly all of his roles.    Kline is Sam, who lives in Florida and has lost his zeal for sex with his wife.     She gives him a condom and Viagra pill at the airport and gives him permission to cheat.    Any bets on whether the pill and condom go unused?    At least Sam doesn't act like an older version of Otto from A Fish Called Wanda.   Then again, maybe that wouldn't have been a bad thing.

The plot involves the four guys, best friends since they were kids in Brooklyn, getting together to throw Billy a bachelor party.    He is marrying a hottie about 30 years his junior.    There are subplots, including Billy and Paddy's falling out because Billy didn't attend Paddy's wife's funeral.    There is also history with Paddy's wife and Billy from long ago which is explained and re-explained, with a little more truth added each time so we get the complete picture by movie's end.    Billy and Paddy also seem to be both be falling for a Vegas nightclub singer (Steenburgen), which means history may repeat itself.   

There is also a curious subplot involving a young wiseass (Ferrara), who at first picks on the old guys, but then through a silly plot development winds up waiting on them hand and foot.     The Ferrara character is so unnecessary that I'm not sure he is even given a name, but he has at least lost a lot of weight from his days as Turtle on Entourage.      There are also a few scenes in which the old guys show the young whippersnappers a thing or two about partying and dancing.    

I wanted to like Last Vegas.    The actors are all accomplished veterans whom we have an instant familiarity with, but it's lacking that certain something which makes a comedy special.     I have to believe, however, that Morgan Freeman must've been happy to at least not be narrating the thing.   

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) * * * *

Directed by:  David Lean

Starring:  Alec Guinness, William Holden, Sensue Hayakawa, Jack Hawkins

David Lean's The Bridge On The River Kwai is epic in its length and scope against a World War II backdrop, but really concentrates more on the motives of its characters.     On its surface, the film is about a Japanese POW camp needing to build a bridge across the river Kwai using reluctant POW's as the workforce.     The film's other plot involves the British army's plot to destroy the bridge, using an American soldier who miraculously escaped from the camp.      What makes The Bridge on the River Kwai so complex and fascinating are the actions of Col. Nicholson (Guinness) and camp Commander Saito (Hayakawa), both of whom are naturally enemies but through mutual respect decide to complete the bridge by the deadline.     But why would they tacitly decide to work together when their country's interests are opposed?   

It doesn't start out that way for the Colonel, who foolishly believes he is really in command of his men even though they are now residents of a Japanese POW camp in the middle of the Burmese jungle.     Saito, desperate to complete the bridge as tasked by his superiors, wants to use all available hands to help construct it, including British officers.     Col. Nicholson opposes this, citing the Geneva Convention and even providing a copy to Saito, who smacks him with it and throws him in "The Oven", an iron hotbox in the hot sun.     Nicholson stays true to his principles while Saito sees he is losing control of the POW's and will fail to meet the deadline.     What is the price Saito must pay if he fails to complete the bridge?    Suicide by harikari.

The British sabotage the construction at every turn, which leaves Saito in a quandary.   If he kills the POW's, he loses his workforce and the bridge won't be completed.    He needs Nicholson and makes concessions to ensure his cooperation.    Why would Nicholson care if Saito commits suicide?    What's in it for Nicholson if they complete the project?    Oddly, Nicholson assumes command of the project and whips the workforce into shape.    To the amazement of Saito and his underlings, Nicholson wants to build a proper bridge, using any resources at his disposal.    Nicholson says he wants to keep prisoner morale high, but a later speech reveals his true motives.      He wants to be remembered for leaving something behind that will validate his self-worth.     He wants to feel he is in charge of something.     He also makes sure his name is on the sign identifying the bridge for posterity.    What the Japanese plan to do with the bridge is immaterial to him. 

Alec Guinness won the Academy Award for Best Actor for this role.   It is rich and complex.    His Col. Nicholson is a quiet man who maintains stern control over his soldiers.    His rigidity in standing by his principles at first gains the respect of the men and Saito.    But when the threat of failure is upon him, Nicholson even commandeers men in the sick ward to help out.    By the time the bridge is completed, Nicholson is more concerned about his legacy than the war.   

I also enjoyed Hayakawa as Saito, a proud man who sadly realizes he is not the leader Nicholson is and seems content to commit harikari even if his bridge is completed on time.    He keeps his knife close at all times.     His mission is more to save his own skin than further the cause of his country.    William Holden as the escapee Shears is also one who bends a few rules to further his safety, but heroically leads the mission to destroy the bridge.     He, unlike Saito or Nicholson, realizes there are bigger issues at play than his own personal motives, but he does so at great personal sacrifice.  

Other than the gunfire and explosions in the final minutes of The Bridge on the River Kwai, World War II seems a million miles away for these people.    Saito and Nicholson are fighting their own personal wars, while Shears wants nothing more than to stay escaped from the Burmese jungle.    There is much carnage at the end of the film and we see that Nicholson is primarily concerned with the British destroying "his bridge" and thus the only thing that will live on long after him.     One of Nicholson's men surveys the damage and says, "Madness, this is madness."    What is madness?    The building of a bridge only to destroy it?   Or the fighting that goes on endlessly in the name of national agendas?    It's not likely anyone knows the answers, but there sure is a lot of destruction of not only property and lives, but hopes and dreams.