Pain and Gain (2013) * * *

Directed by:  Michael Bay

Starring:  Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rebel Wilson, Michael Rispoli

The true events of Pain and Gain took place over an eight-month period between October 1994 and June 1995, when Daniel Lugo (Wahlberg) and his associates were arrested for murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, and almost every felony one can think of.      When you consider how horribly wrong everything goes with their plan to kidnap a rich sleazeball and swindle him out of his assets, it's amazing they stayed at large as long as they did.    

If there were ever a group of lunkheads not cut out for a life of crime, it's the trio of Daniel, Paul (Johnson), a born-again Christian ex-con who blows his share of the gains on coke, and Adrian (Mackie), a gym rat rendered impotent by steroid abuse.     Daniel is a personal trainer at a Miami gym that mostly services beautiful women and rich clients who spill their secrets to their trainers.     One of his clients is the sleazy Victor Kershaw (Shalhoub), who boasts of his numerous assets in offshore back accounts.     This gets Daniel thinking of his ridiculous scheme to kidnap Kershaw and force him to sign over all of his assets to he and his accomplices.     Then, he will stage Kershaw's death to make it look like a drunk driving accident.    Only Kershaw survives that, as well as being set on fire, and being run over by a van.     Kershaw, blindfolded, also knows one of his kidnappers is Daniel because of his unique cologne.    

Daniel is a greedy opportunist looking to live the American Dream, which in his eyes is a large Miami mansion and a sporty car.    He once tried to obtain the dream as a fraudulent real estate salesman who wound up serving a jail stint.    After listening to a snarky motivational speaker (Ken Jeong), he is convinced he is destined for better things.     He should've listened harder or at least more.    His choice of conspirators leaves a lot to be desired too.    Paul is frequently conflicted due to his religious beliefs about his involvement in the crime.     He then snorts away his share, forcing the bunch to try and rip off a sleazy porn king (Rispoli) with disastrous results.     Adrian blows his share on a house and a wedding, while realizing he may need penile surgery.     If he had waited a year, he would've discovered Viagra.     Daniel believes in himself and his friends believe he is a genius, which is the worst thing for all of these guys.  

Wahlberg plays Daniel with cockiness and bravado (along with a dose of delusion), convinced that his plan will work even in the face of overwhelming evidence that it won't.     When someone is unexpectedly killed, he says he "needs a pump" and starts curling dumbbells while a victim lies dead on the floor.      Johnson brings easy authority to his roles, although this time there are inner conflicts which weigh on him.     He is the closest thing to a moral center between the three kidnappers, but he goes against his better nature too often.      Also in the mix is Ed Harris as a recently retired private eye lured out of retirement by Kershaw.     It doesn't take him long to begin tailing Lugo and his crew, providing incriminating photos to Kershaw and the police.  

Pain and Gain reminds me plenty of Fargo in terms of tone and story.    The criminals in Fargo were amateurs who thought of themselves as pros.    They were in way over their heads, as are the guys in Pain and Gain.    Pain and Gain correctly sees the events with dark humor.     One shakes his head in bewilderment as the situation spirals quickly out of control.     The guys make things worse when faced with unexpected developments.      Adrian cleans up a bloody mess by cutting out 48 squares of  blood-spattered carpet and dumping them in the trash, believing his wife won't notice all of the holes when she gets home.     They rent a chainsaw to cut up body parts and have no clue how to actually use it.     It is returned to Home Depot with hair stuck to the blades.  

Director Bay has made hay off of loud, big-budgeted action films like The Rock, Armageddon, and the Transformers series.     Pain and Gain is a more humorous film.    It manages a workable tone for grim material.    Things aren't blowing up every five minutes and numbing our senses with relentless action.     Lugo and Adrian were convicted of various felonies, including murder, and sentenced to death.     Paul received a lighter sentence and was happy to have it.     Maybe jail was better for him than life on the outside anyway.      Through all of it, and even on death row, Daniel is convinced of better times ahead.     There are instances where confidence gives way to delusion.     Daniel is living proof.