The Wolverine (2013) *

Directed by:  James Mangold

Starring:  Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Svetlana Khodchenkova

Logan/Wolverine seems to go through all of the trials and tribulations that most superheroes put themselves through.    Wolverine fights as much with his guilt and inner demons as he does bad guys.     There is no joy in being him and thus there is no joy in the movie starring him.     The Wolverine is a slog through a silly plot.     It's sad to see the very talented Hugh Jackman trudge his way through this dreck.     No wonder he never, ever smiles.     You wouldn't either if you had to deal with his problems.

The film opens in 1945 on the very day Nagasaki is decimated by the atomic bomb.    Logan is a prisoner of war (I think) imprisoned in a deep well.    After the POW camp is liberated, Logan saves the life of a prison guard by shielding him from the blast.    The guard then repays him by tracking him down years later from his deathbed to participate in the silliness that follows.     If Logan knew then what he knows now, he would've let the guy vaporize.    Then again, how could he (with blades that can extend from his knuckles at will and the ability to heal himself quickly) have not escaped from the camp whenever he felt like it?

Maybe he's doing penance for killing his lover (Famke Janssen in a cameo role), whose job is to show up in his dreams and beg him to come join her on the other side.    There is likely a backstory there that requires catching up on previous X-Men movies, which I won't do anytime soon.   But boy is she a nag.    Anyhow, Logan starts off in present day Canada or Alaska (I think), or someplace where there is snow and giant bears roam the forests.     His is tracked down by a mysterious Japanese woman who has power to see the future and is the granddaughter of the guard whose life he saved.    The old man runs the "most powerful company in Asia" and enlists Logan's help in exchange for the possibility of....mortality.     Yes, Logan/Wolverine is immortal and it seems to weigh on him, although once he is stabbed and shot and the wounds don't heal, he seems to realize that being immortal has its advantages.

Also in the mix is a sexy villain named Viper (Khodchenkova), who is immune to poison and can deliver a few deadly doses herself.    There are other shadowy people about looking to kill Logan and the old man's granddaughter who is the heiress to his fortune.      A robot reminiscent of Johnny Socko's Giant Robot (for those who watched the reruns on TV in the late 70's) also appears and is such a big, hulking, awkward looking thing that you have to wonder why someone spent so much time working on it.    What exactly is its function?    The mind boggles.

Wolverine is an underwhelming, uncharismatic superhero.     Jackman has played the role in four X-Men movies and two spinoffs (plus one more X-Men sequel at least), but what exactly attracts him to the role?     It's possible that he gets a big payday while exerting very little energy, which is a double whammy for him.    The role, however, is very limiting.    He says little and whatever he does say is either monosyllabic or just above a grunt.    Sometimes Jackman expends just enough energy to be audible.

It appears we will see more of The Wolverine in future movies, but unless Jackman is allowed to sing and dance, I highly doubt those movies will be much more entertaining than this one.