Directed by: Barry Levinson
Starring: Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Zooey Deschanel, Kate Hudson, Scott Caan, Danny McBride, Leem Lubany
You know a movie is bad when it reminds you of Ishtar. You know it is awful when you wish you were watching Ishtar instead. Rock the Kasbah is a colossal miscalculation that not just steals ideas from other movies, it steals from bad ones. It is a dreary slog. Poor Bill Murray is left shouldering this heavy load. His co-stars walk on and then have the privilege of disappearing for long stretches before being forced to show up again. He is stuck in nearly every frame, trying desperately to add something to this dead zone. Murray's appearance in Rock the Kasbah makes me wonder why he resisted making Ghostbusters III. It can't be much worse than this.
Murray stars as Richie Lanz, a burnt-out, name-dropping, has-been talent manager reduced to signing up talentless clients in his Van Nuys apartment. Consider him the West Coast version of Broadway Danny Rose. He dubiously claims he suggested to Jimi Hendrix to play Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock and "discovered" Madonna. Ronnie (Deschanel) is one of Richie's no-talents singing covers at a dive bar when the owner books her to play for the troops at a base in Afghanistan. Richie and Ronnie are on the next plane and land in war-torn Kabul with their luggage missing. Ronnie is zonked out of her skull, but soon steals Richie's wallet and flies the coop. Richie is now broke with no passport, but shady gun runners offer him $30,000 to facilitate a simple gun deal to a local warlord.
The plot veers off in a strange direction when Richie discovers the warlord's daughter Salima (Lubany) can sing Cat Stevens' Wild World like an angel and dreams of appearing on the Afghani version of American Idol. Because of the country's restrictive attitudes towards women, Salima's appearance causes great controversy and apoplexy in her father. The plot thickens and meanders, but all points lead to a dead end. Also clogging up the works is a hooker with a heart of gold (Hudson), looking to retire off of the money she makes in Kabul. She may want to pick another locale that is more hospitable and lucrative. Bruce Willis shows up as a mercenary with dreams of writing a book. And Richie has a daughter he rarely sees. All of this contributes nothing but a longer running time.
Rock the Kasbah is lifeless from the first frame. I had no idea Barry Levinson was the film's director until I saw the opening credits. He is a brilliant Oscar-winning writer and director, which leaves me completely baffled as to why he chose to helm this project. I cannot imagine what drew anyone to it. Is Bill Murray such a great guy that established talents will throw away weeks of their lives to work with him? I couldn't say, but I hope he is for their sakes. I feel sorry for Murray having to appear in the whole film, while his co-stars appear putting forth the least amount of energy possible and then skedaddling. Whatever Zooey Deschanel stole from Murray's wallet, it was well worth it to get out.
The plot is eerily similar to Ishtar. In both films, losers are booked to play in a remote hellhole halfway across the world only to become involved in a local war. Rock the Kasbah adds Salima, which only makes it more insufferable. Truth be told, she (or whomever is singing Wild World) is an ok singer at best; certainly not worth the effusive praise Richie bestows upon her. Rock the Kasbah seems to add plot elements in hopes that these would somehow make it funnier or more palatable. I don't think this movie would be tolerable even as a short film.
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