Logan (2017) * *

Directed by:  James Mangold

Starring:  Hugh Jackman, Dafne Keen, Patrick Stewart, Richard E. Grant, Stephen Merchant, Boyd Holbrook, Eriq La Salle

Hugh Jackman says this is his last go-around as the miserable, monosyllabic, snarky Wolverine, the movie superhero to which most people would most identify him.    I'm sure he'll miss the paychecks, but not necessarily the heavy baggage he must haul around as this relentlessly sad superhero.    He is immortal and his weapon of choice are blades which protrude from his knuckles, but if there is a man to whom death would be a sweet relief, it is Wolverine.    

The movie isn't called Wolverine 3, but Logan, which is the Wolverine's real name.    The title suggests we will somehow delve deeper into the character and find some hidden dimensions.     I'm afraid that isn't the case.    Logan puts us through another two plus hours of, well, Logan.    As the movie opens in the near future, Logan is hiding out as a limo driver who looks to be about ten seconds away from cursing out his clients.     He keeps the very, very old and ill Professor Charles Xavier (Stewart) hidden away in an abandoned refinery (I think) in the Mexican desert.     Guarding Professor X, who suffers greatly and has seizures which can stop anyone within a five-mile radius in his tracks, is the albino Caliban (Merchant).   

Logan is saving money to buy a boat and spend the rest of his (and Professor X's) days at sea, but the world has other plans.     He is tracked down by a nurse whose patient is a 6-year old mutant who also has blades protruding from her knuckles and a nasty, surly disposition.     As Professor X points out, "Does she remind you of anyone?"   Logan reluctantly agrees to take the girl, named Laura (Keen) to Eden, where she can be reunited with other genetically created mutants who were bred to be future killing machines.     Laura is being tracked by the relentless Pierce (Holbrook), who travels with a caravan of ominous black trucks that only seems to appear in movies.    We see numerous shots of the caravan slowly creeping up on wherever Logan and company are hiding out.    How much does it cost to keep those vehicles fueled?    How often do they have to stop for gas?

At first, Logan is very reticent to be Laura's protector, but considering how well she can handle herself in the fight scenes, should she be Logan's protector?    Logan is aging, drinks a lot, and heals a lot more slowly than he used to in his younger days.    He must spend half the movie passed out while recuperating from his injuries.     The budding father figure/daughter relationship between Logan and Laura is supposed to tug at the heartstrings, but it follows the same formula as countless others you've seen before.     Hostility gives way to guarded truce which then gives way to respect then sacrificial love.    The trouble is, we just don't buy it.     Logan never seems to grow into someone who gives us a warm and fuzzy feeling, so when he finally does we scarcely believe it.     He becomes this guy because the script tells him to right about now.

Logan is the first R-rated entry from the Marvel Universe and it is sufficiently bloody and violent.    Heads are decapitated.    Bodies are stabbed repeatedly and viciously by the blades of Logan, Laura, and an evil Logan 2.0 created Dr. Rice (Grant), who also created the mutants which escaped from the same lab as Laura.   Other bodies are impaled on sharp objects.     It is all kind of a depressing slog.   It is a pity that Logan/Wolverine doesn't match the charisma that Jackman naturally oozes.     Jackman is capable of so much more and now he is finally giving the Wolverine a permanent rest.    Will it hurt his box office drawing power?    Possibly.    Logan plays just like its title character, as a franchise that is so, so ready to move on.