The Fate of the Furious (2017) * *

Directed by:  F. Gary Gray

Starring:  Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Charlize Theron, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Nathalie Emmanuel, Helen Mirren, Ludacris

I saw the original The Fast and the Furious in 2001 and while I was less than enthusiastic about the movie, at least its stunts and cars didn't violate the laws of physics.    I haven't seen the other entries in the series, but I'm relieved to report that you don't need to.    We get the gist of the characters and we can follow along, because The Fate of the Furious, the eighth film in the endless series, isn't written for characterizations or memorable dialogue.    People see it in droves for the ludicrous action sequences which up the ante in sheer breaking of the laws of physics and gravity.  

Johnson's Luke Hobbs, a former government agent turned member of Dominic Toretto's (Diesel) merry band of racers/thieves/operatives, doesn't say anything more than colorful threats of kicking someone's ass or "Let's roll".    The rest of the group sticks with glib dialogue and one-liners, even in the midst of deadly attacks by tanks, guns, and at one point even cars whose computer chips are hacked and turned into deadly, driverless machines.     More on that later.

A villain is introduced in the cold person of Cipher (Theron), who is planning the theft of a nuclear device and blackmails Dominic into betraying his "family" and joining forces with her.     Why she would go through the headache of convincing Dominic to turn and then have to keep convincing him to stay on her side is something the movie fails to answer...among other things.    Were there no independent villains out there willing to help Cipher?   Ones with less baggage?   And Dominic's turn causes barely a ripple, even with his new wife Letty (Rodriguez), who can only look at Dominic with a wounded expression and tears in her eyes.    And the secret which causes Dominic to turn bad is one which wouldn't even cause a politician to resign from office these days.

When the action reaches New York, and Dominic is assigned the thankless task of securing nuclear launch codes from Russian diplomats, the action goes from ridiculous to an absolute howler.    This is when Cipher has a hacker break into the computer chips in what must be thousands of cars and orders the cars attack the limo carrying the Russians.    Talk about using a shotgun to kill a mosquito.    In a series which prides itself on over-the-top action, this has to be one which can't be topped in terms of sheer overkill.    If Cipher has that kind of dastardly weaponry at her fingertips, then who needs a wild card named Dominic?    The finale takes place in freezing Siberia, but not freezing enough for the heroes to wear hats or even warm clothing. 

The chemistry between enemies-turned-bros Hobbs and Deckard Shaw (Statham), the villain from the previous installment, is supposed to be a big deal here and enough to warrant a spinoff film.   But, the two have very few scenes together and their paths in the plot diverge.     The cast is chock full of action stars who can work through the material while having lots of fun and somehow stop themselves from breaking up in laughter.    They take it seriously.    Theron is a suitable villain and F. Gary Gray presents the action with slick professionalism.    The Fate of the Furious is a good-looking bad movie and I'm sure I would come to the same conclusion if I bothered to watch chapters 2-7, which I won't.