Safe Haven (2013) * 1/2

Directed by:  Lasse Hallstrom

Starring:  Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, David Lyons

Before the closing moments of Safe Haven, my review of this film would've been a bit different.    I wouldn't have overly praised it, but it was a decently made, if not predictable film about a young woman on the run from an abusive husband.    Then, the film unleashes a Big Reveal that is unnecessary, silly, and pointless.    What was it hoping to accomplish except to lay a heavy "whoa" moment on the audience?     I would've preferred an "it's all a dream" ending compared to this one. 

Let's start with what led up to the goofy ending.    The film opens with a young woman (Hough) boarding a bus to anywhere as a police detective is hot on her trail.    She escapes and departs the bus in a picturesque North Carolina town, which looks like a perfect place to start over.   She calls herself Katie and soon meets the town's other young person, a local shop owner named Alex (Duhamel), who is a kind, widowed father of two.    There is another young woman whom Katie befriends named Jo, who also seems to be running from something.   

Alex and Katie are instantly attracted, probably because they are the only two people left in town in the under-30 and single demographic.   Duhamel and Hough are likable and have a nice, unforced chemistry.    The children are at first wary of Katie because she isn't their dead mother, but they warm up to her also.    They go to the beach, go fishing, walk in the woods, and take in the abundant sunshine that seems to accompany all films based on Nicholas Sparks novels.    There is one rainstorm, however, just so we know that Katie and Alex don't reside in heaven.   Nonetheless, they fall in love. 

Paradise is soon to be invaded by the obsessed detective Tierney (Lyons), who sends out APB's that Katie (whose real name is Erin) is wanted for murder.   Flashbacks are shown.    Katie/Erin is shown holding a knife and there is a body lying in a pool of blood on the floor.    Is she indeed a murderer?   Was it self-defense?   And why is the detective so obsessed with tracking her down?    These questions are answered in time and all of this leads to a predictable, yet satisfactory conclusion.    Lyons is menacing as the hard-drinking detective whose role in Erin's predicament isn't at first what it seems.

Then after all is said and done, the aforementioned Big Reveal is sprung on us.    It didn't just come out of left field, it comes from another ballpark.    I was less shocked by it than I was appalled.    It doesn't shift the nature of what came before, but it brings about an otherworldly element that the film didn't really need.     It brings about a few questions, such as, "How can such a thing write a letter?"  "Why would it choose to speak to one character and not another, which is the one it really should be speaking to?"   I know I'm being hopelessly vague, but I don't want to ruin the spoiler for anyone.    However, I also can't properly give the film a thorough review without mentioning it either.    It's tough being me sometimes.  

A Shot in the Dark (1964) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Blake Edwards

Starring:  Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, Elke Sommer, George Sanders

Perhaps I'm not overly enthusiastic about A Shot in the Dark because I've already seen every other Pink Panther/Clouseau film and most of the slips, trips, and slapstick seen here are seen in those movies as well.    A Shot in the Dark was the second Pink Panther film with Peter Sellers in the starring role of inept French detective Jacques Clouseau.     Maybe back in 1964, this sort of comedy was fresh.   However, I didn't get around to seeing the film in its entirety until recently and that has skewed my opinion of it somewhat.    

There are some aspects of the Pink Panther series I never grow tired of, such as Cato's unexpected attacks on Clouseau (ordered by Clouseau himself) and Clouseau's boss Drefyus (Lom) reduced to an insane mess of facial tics over Clouseau's antics.    Seeing Dreyfus' eye twitch never fails to draw a laugh.     Clouseau's manservant Cato (Burt Kwouk) may be the only person on Earth with worse karate skills than Clouseau, although Clouseau naturally thinks he is an expert.     In fact, Clouseau continually thinks highly of his own police skills even though the rest of the world knows he is incompetent at best and absolutely bumbling at worst.      Decorum is very likely the only reason more people don't call him a buffoon to his face.

Clouseau is called upon to solve a murder in a mansion owned by the rich and powerful Benjamin Banton (Sanders).    A maid named Maria Gambrelli (Sommer) is the prime suspect, but Clouseau doubts this, mostly because he fell in love with her at first sight.     He swears she is innocent, even though she appears guilty.    She was found holding the murder weapon and has motive, but Clouseau goes out of his way to clear her name.     I'm sure in the police detective handbook this is not part of Clouseau's job description, but when she smiles and bats her eyes at him all police procedure flies out the window.    This enrages Dreyfus further.   He can't help but openly admit his hatred for his underling.

One portion of the movie takes place in a nudist colony.    Clouseau tracks Gambrelli there and is slow to catch on to the nature of the establishment even though the desk clerk is naked.     Despite the setup which should deliver beaucoup laughs, the payoff isn't there.    Most of the scenes here show the modest Clouseau trying to avoid being seen naked.     Two or three people fall into a lake, but once you've seen one person fall into a lake, you've seen them all.

I find I'm not much of a fan of people falling or tripping over things.    It may have been inspired back in the 1920s, but after countless slapstick comedies and Three Stooges episodes, this style of humor has lost its effectiveness.     Sellers does it plenty here, as he does in future Pink Panther comedies, but Sellers and the Clouseau character in general are better served by verbal humor and incidences of Clouseau's obvious slow wit.     In the film, Sellers hadn't fully developed Clouseau's trademark French accent, but it's amusing to hear others try and make sense of his mispronounced words.   

A Shot in the Dark was the genesis of the Clouseau character which has become immortalized.     It was the first true Clouseau film (The Pink Panther had Clouseau as more of a supporting character).     Maybe it doesn't work as well for me because I saw it last instead of first, but I don't know of any time machines to rent, so this effort is somewhat of a "meh" for me. 

Friday Night Lights (2004) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Peter Berg

Starring:  Billy Bob Thornton, Derek Luke, Garrett Hedlund, Lucas Black, Jay Hernandez

I can't imagine having the mindset that Odessa, Texas high school football fans have.     Their happiness and feelings of self-worth are in the hands of a group of teenagers.     Is it fair to put this responsibility on them?    "Do you even feel 17?" one of the players asks another during a rare moment of leisure as the football season begins.     They do not.     Fair or unfair, it is the reality in Friday Night Lights, based on Buzz Bissinger's best-selling book depicting the culture of high school football in West Texas.     Perhaps it's this way in many other parts of the country as well, which to me is sad, but to those people football represents their only hope at salvaging meaning in their lives. 

The enjoyment of playing football has long been sapped from these players, who face relentless pressure from parents, boosters, and the community.    They are treated like celebrities and even their August football practices are media events.     The third-string running back is interviewed on camera as if he were Emmitt Smith or Barry Sanders.    Coach Gary Gaines (Thornton) is beginning his second season and he understands the pressure on him to win even though he doesn't like it.     "Be perfect," he tells his team.   The players believe this statement to mean go undefeated and win the elusive state championship.     It is made clear later what Gaines actually means by that statement.

The Panthers play in a very large stadium which rivals some college stadiums in size.    A sign hangs on it commemorating the years the team won the state championship.   The last year listed was 1984 and as the film begins in August 1988, that's four years in which the Odessa community has had to endure misery.     The stadium is beautiful, meanwhile the rest of the town is in shambles.    It's no wonder the economy doesn't seem to grow there:  Businesses close whenever there's a big game and proudly put up signs stating, "Gone to the game."    Think about this: the players aren't old enough to vote and would otherwise be dismissed as "stupid kids" if they weren't wearing a football jersey.     Yet, these same teens are tacitly responsible for the community being able to wake up in the morning with a smile.  

I'm doing more judging of this community than Friday Night Lights does.    The movie observes this culture without judging it.    It doesn't preach and has no easy payoffs.     The microcosm of this football worship is displayed in the character of running back Don Billingsley's father, Charles (Tim McGraw).  Don fumbles a lot, which enrages his mostly drunk father whose only claim to fame is that he was on an Odessa team that won a state championship.     For the father, that win was the highlight of his life.    He finds it to be a curse, because nothing he does can top that.      He is trying to reclaim a smidgen of happiness through his son.   As he puts it, "When you fail, then I've failed."   

This is true of many of the people in Friday Night Lights.    Coach Gaines repeatedly hears people calling into to radio shows calling for his head after a loss.    He takes it with a grain of salt, although the pressure makes his wife half-jokingly consider moving to Alaska.    It's powerful when Gaines, even after a tough loss, blows a kiss to his wife in the stands, stating in his subtle way that his family comes first.     The same can't be said for most others in this movie.    

Friday Night Lights comes down to a Big Game, of course, but who wins and loses doesn't matter as much as the realization that many of those players will likely never play football again and should relish the enjoyment of playing one last time.    In the epilogue, only one of the players on the squad received a scholarship to a Divison I school.    Most of the players aren't delusional about playing in the NFL, although running back Boogie Miles (Luke) believes his own hype to the point that he thinks he can play with an ACL tear.    When he finds out he can't, he breaks down and cries, "Football is all I know.   What am I going to do?"    What's sad about this is that the players come and go, like interchangeable parts, but the football machine chugs along mercilessly.     If you listen to sports talk radio callers, can anyone say this is isn't still the case?  

The Lucky One (2012) * *

Directed by:  Scott Hicks


Starring:  Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Jay R. Ferguson, Blythe Danner

At least three times in The Lucky One, Logan (Efron) solemnly declares to his new lover Beth (Schilling), "I have something I have to tell you," and after a well-timed interruption, Beth says, "It's ok, you can tell me later."    This only works in movies.    In real life, Beth would've been too curious to continue on with her day until she hears Logan out.     I know I would have.    It's not every day somebody is so intent on telling me Something Important.  

But, alas, so goes The Lucky One, in which Logan is unable to tell Beth his Big Secret.    It's maddening.     The secret itself isn't really much of one anyway.    I can't imagine why Beth would be upset with him over it, except that in movies like this, new couples are artificially kept apart before making up at the end.     The Lucky One covers everything on the romance checklist and does so in pedestrian fashion.  

The Lucky One begins during the Iraq War (or is it Afghanistan?).    Logan Thibault (Efron) is a soldier who during a battle notices a photo of a pretty girl lying on the ground.     As he picks it up, he avoids getting hit by gunfire.     He believes the photo to be a good luck charm and wears it under his helmet.     He credits the photo with saving his life on more than one occasion.     After his third tour ends, he decides to set out and find the identity of the woman in the photo.     He has no leads to go on and doesn't even know for sure she is even American.    That doesn't stop Logan, who is able to discover the woman's identity after a few Google searches.     She is Beth, who runs a pet boarding kennel in Louisiana.    Logan walks there from Colorado with his dog (I'll assume he hitchhiked some) and meets Beth.     He attempts to tell her why he's there and she mistakes him for a job applicant.     This is the first occasion where he tries to tell Beth "The Truth". 

She hires him, mostly because he's hunky and earnest.    Beth's grandmother (Danner) eyes up the two and sees There Are Meant For Each Other, which of course doesn't occur to Beth and Logan until much, much later.      Complicating matters is Beth's ex-husband, Keith (Ferguson), who shares custody of her son and is a creep from minute one.     He's a deputy sheriff with family political connections and a drinking problem.     He intimidates Beth and confronts Logan every time they meet.     It's almost unintentionally funny when Logan tells Keith, "You're a good guy, you know," during one of the umpteen staredowns between the two.     On what is this based?     We find out later when both men team up to find Beth's runaway son that Keith may not be Such A Bad Guy After All.
Seems like a screenplay swerve to me.

Beth and Logan fall in love (albeit despite their individual appeal they have little chemistry) and break up briefly after Logan reveals to her that his chance meeting with her wasn't exactly chance.     There's also business involving Beth's brother who served in Iraq as well and was killed in action.   
Efron and Schilling are appealing leads.    Efron effectively dials down and Schilling is a fresh, pretty face.     But The Lucky One ultimately puts them in a predictable story bordering on what Roger Ebert called The Idiot Plot.    This means the plot and any misunderstandings would be wrapped up quickly if one or more of the characters would say the right thing.    

Another side plot was Logan's apparent shell shock, which manifests itself early in the film when he comes home.    He jumps when he hears gunfire on a video game and nearly strangles his nephew while playing with him.     This is never referred to again once he hits Louisiana.    Maybe the movie just wanted Keith to have all of the bad attributes.  

Inspector Clouseau (1968) * *

Directed by:  Bud Yorkin

Starring:  Alan Arkin, Frank Finlay

Peter Sellers made the role of bumbling French detective Jacques Clouseau famous over the course of five Pink Panther films made during his lifetime.     The film, Inspector Clouseau, was expected to be made with Sellers reteaming with director Blake Edwards.   However, the team decided to make The Party, the only non-Pink Panther film they made together.     The studio pressed on and cast Alan Arkin in the role of Clouseau and hired Bud Yorkin as director.     The results are mixed, but not for reasons you would think.  

By 1968, Edwards and Sellers made two Pink Panther films, the remaining three would be released between 1975 and 1978.     Alan Arkin actually did the right thing by not attempting to imitate Peter Sellers.    His Clouseau is a careful reimagining.      Sellers' take on the role including a very thick French accent and a never ending belief in his own brilliance, even when all evidence is to the contrary.     Arkin's Clouseau has an accent, but not an impenetrable one.     He has occasions in which he simply can't help but slip, trip, and fall, but he also seems more human, more bewildered, and played with a sneaky belief that he knows that he solves cases by pure luck.     He has to know that he is in over his head.    Would hardcore Clouseau fans accept this version?     Probably not, but I was intrigued by it.     It's not heresy to have another actor play Clouseau.    After all, Beatles and Elvis Presley songs have been covered. 

However, Inspector Clouseau likely wouldn't have worked even with Sellers in it.     The plot is lackluster, involving a string of London robberies which Clouseau is brought in by Scotland Yard to solve.     There are pratfalls and, hell, Alan Arkin can fall down and bungle things just as well as Sellers can.    Once you see one slip, you see them all.    There are no truly hilarious moments in Inspector Clouseau, just some chuckles here and there.    Even those are islands onto themselves, although I thought the way the thieves smuggled the stolen loot out of the country was pretty ingenious.   

Alan Arkin's Clouseau was a one-off performance.    Peter Sellers returned to the series in Return of the Pink Panther (1975), along with Edwards, Henry Mancini, Inspector Dreyfus and Cato (all are absent here).      If anything, Jacques Clouseau was a footnote in Arkin's career, which has included four Oscar nominations and one win for Best Supporting Actor in 2006.    He's a genuine talent and I admired his risktaking by playing a role which would be forever linked to another actor.     Inspector Clouseau didn't do Arkin any favors with a weak script and uninspired slapstick, leaving Arkin hanging around trying in vain to do something funny.

Dark Shadows (2012) * *

Directed by:  Tim Burton

Starring:  Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Bella Heathcote, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jonny Lee Miller, Helena Bonham Carter

Dark Shadows is a film with an identity crisis.    Does it want to be a fish-out-of-water comedy about an 18th-century vampire who awakens in 1972?   Does it want to be a gothic horror film?    Does it even know?    The humor fits in very awkwardly with the vampire stuff and we're left without any rooting interest.     Are we expected to be supportive of a vampire just because he's played by Johnny Depp?    He kills about 15 innocent bystanders and a few not-so-innocent ones.     I know that's what vampires do, but still. 

Dark Shadows begins circa 1780 in the Collins mansion in Collinsport, Massachusetts.     The Collins family runs the local fishing company is rich and powerful.    The son and sole heir to the Collins fortune is Barnabas Collins, who throws over his lover Angelique (Green) for the young, fetching Victoria (Heathcote).    Angelique, who is a witch/vampire (I think), turns Barnabas into a vampire while putting Victoria in a spell that causes her to jump to her death from a cliff.     Angelique then chains up Barnabas in a casket and buries him in the forest, only to be unearthed nearly 200 years later by a construction crew.

After killing the construction workers, Barnabas travels to Collinsport and sees his first McDonald's sign, cars, and light bulbs.     He finds his mansion nearly in ruins and occupied by Elizabeth Collins (Pfeiffer), whose family's fortune has been squeezed by rival fishing magnate Angelbay, which is run by (drum roll please) Angelique.     She hasn't aged a day, but sports blonde hair and quickly discovers that her former love has returned to gain vengeance.

Angelique inexplicably still loves Barnabas and, although he doesn't love her, he doesn't object to a roll in the hay in order to spare his newfound family from her curses.    Most of the scenes between Barnabas and Angelique take on the same format:   Angelique proposes to Barnabas that they rule Collinsport together, Barnabas refuses and insults her, she puts the pressure on, etc. etc.    Adding to the equation is the arrival of a young girl named Vickie, who becomes the nanny of the Collins children and looks exactly like the long-deceased Victoria.     Barnabas immediately falls for Vickie, who feels a strange attraction to Barnabas as if she's met him before, which she has..in a past life.  

Tim Burton incorporates his usual superior art direction to the Collins mansion and especially in the 18th century scenes.     But Dark Shadows is a glum project.    Maybe it's meant to be that way, but it isn't much fun.     Burton tries to lighten the mood by having Barnabas encounter 1970's pop culture and he naturally doesn't get it, but shoehorning comedy into this dark material just doesn't work.    
Depp tries to provide as much of a hero as Dark Shadows deserves.    He is well-spoken, mannered, a bit arrogant, and of course a little out of his depth.    After all, two hundred years in a casket would do that to a guy.

There isn't much juice to the growing love between Barnabas and Vickie.    For long stretches, Vickie is off screen which doesn't help matters.    There was more tension and energy between Barnabas and Angelique, even though they are not Meant For One Another.     Green slinks around in knee-high boots and low-cut dresses, but she has a ball with the role.     And wouldn't you know it?   After all that happens between she and Barnabas, she really does kinda sorta love the guy.    Does it seem strange that when Dark Shadows was over, I felt more sympathy for the villain than the hero? 

Now You See Me (2013) * *

Directed by:  Louis Leterrier

Starring:  Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher, David Franco, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Melanie Laurent

Now You See Me is so full of surprises, swerves, and misdirection that it assumes few will realize how ridiculous it is.    It begins with an intriguing premise and quickly spirals downward into a ludicrous plot.       I'll describe the setup.   Four street magicians/con artists are summoned to a meeting place by a mysterious person in a blue hoodie whose face is not seen.    This is to be used to set us up later for the Big Reveal.     Fast forward to one year later and the four magicians are performing in a Las Vegas show with enough lights, music, and visual effects to make David Copperfield envious.    "For our last trick, we're going to rob a bank," proclaims Danny Atlas (Eisenberg).    After the trick is performed and the money allegedly stolen from a Paris bank rains down on the delighted crowd, FBI agent Dylan Rhodes (Ruffalo) receives word the Paris bank was indeed robbed of $3 million.    I will not reveal any plot points from this point forward, but I will pose the questions that popped into my head as the film wore on. 

*  Why are the four magicians given so little screen time?    Why should we care about them? 

*  Did the plan really hinge on things the plotters couldn't possibly foresee, such as the outcome of several car chases, foot races, standing in front of the correct tree in Central Park at the exact time they needed to be standing in front of it, and being able to escape hundreds of FBI agents in various places?

*  Considering how costly the setups, tricks, and distractions the plotters used to keep the FBI at bay must be, at what point do the plotters break even?  

*  How did the Morgan Freeman character know everything the magicians were going to do or how they did it?  

*  How does Mark Ruffalo's FBI agent Rhodes manage to keep his facial hair at just a stubble for days on end?

*  Where did the magicians find the time and equipment to set up these elaborate contraptions, such as the makeshift one on top of an abandoned Queens warehouse, when the FBI is only a few steps behind?

*  After robbing a bank and committing other crimes, did one of the magicians actually say, "I don't know if I want do anything that would put me in jail."?

*  Did the magicians really go through all of this without knowing who they were working for?

*  Did the mastermind behind all of this really need to have a day job?  

It's a bad sign when I watch an entire movie and I know less about it than when I entered the theater.    Maybe Morgan Freeman should've been on hand to answer my questions.    He seemed to know almost everything else.    You'll see what I mean. 

History Of The World Part I (1981) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Mel Brooks

Starring:  Mel Brooks, Gregory Hines, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman, Dom DeLuise, Mary Margaret-Humes, Shecky Greene

History Of The World Part I has many funny scenes and other bits which fall quite short of funny.    It's chock full of Brooks' humor, consisting of puns, raunch, double entendres, and slapstick.    Regardless of the result,  Brooks gives plenty of effort.    He tries harder to get laughs than just about any comic director in history.    

The film is divided up into four sections:   The Stone Age, The Roman Empire, The Inquisition, and The French Revolution.     The Roman and French segments actually have plots, while the other segments ungainly fit in musical numbers.     Brooks himself appears in three of the segments, while the rest feature actors who have appeared in other Brooks movies (Korman, Ron Carey, Leachman, Kahn, and DeLuise).    

The Stone Age segment begins with Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra (also featured in the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey.)     Men rise along with the sun and immediately begin jerking off, which is accompanied by a subtitle, "Our Forefathers".    Very funny.    The rest of the segment is hit and miss, although I like how the critic responds to a cave painting. 

The Roman Empire features Brooks as an out-of-work "stand-up philosopher" who gets on the bad side of a piggish Roman emperor (DeLuise) and goes on the run.    This is the longest and funniest of the segments, which includes Gregory Hines in his film debut as a runaway slave who can dance and Madeline Kahn as Empress Nympho, who holds orgies which advertise, "First Serve, First Come".    Moses even makes an appearance along with a parting Red Sea.     This is an anachronism, to be sure, but it's a good laugh.

The weakest segment is The Inquisition, which is a overly long musical number featuring Brooks as the infamous Torquemada.     Besides an early chuckle, The Inquisition makes the fatal mistake of thinking that having dancing nuns and priests in and of itself is funny.    It tries to make light of the tortures of non-Christians by the Catholics, but flops.    I don't think it ever had a chance.

The French Revolution contains some pretty good yuks, including a plot in which King Louis XVI is replaced by a lookalike "piss boy" (both roles played by Brooks) in order to escape Paris on the eve of the 1789 French Revolution.      The plan is hatched by Count DeMoney (Korman), a snobby aristocrat who repeatedly corrects people who mispronounce his name.  ("Dee-Mo-Nay").    He informs the king, "You look like the piss boy!"   To which the king replies, "And you look like a bucket of shit!"    I enjoyed the inspired lunacy here.

The epilogue shows us a fake trailer for "History Of The World, Part II", but this was meant as a gag.   There was never a Part II in the works.    What can I say about Part I except I laughed, but not consistently.     Brooks' Young Frankenstein and High Anxiety were more consistently funny and inspired.     History Of The World Part I has parts that work and others that made me groan.      

Warrior (2011) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Gavin O' Connor

Starring:  Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Kurt Angle

I watched Warrior assuming at best I would see a satisfying sports drama.   It worked better than that.   It became an engrossing story about a wounded family which oddly comes together and heals during an MMA tournament.    The fights are shot in the style of O' Connor's Miracle (2004), about the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team, with play-by-play on the soundtrack to help us figure out the action.   They are well done, to be sure, but the biggest strength of Warrior is that we care about the characters and we care what happens to them.   

Warrior opens with Philadelphia teacher Brendan Conlon (Edgerton) struggling to make ends meet .     An MMA tournament is announced with a $5 million purse, which would certainly cover the bills.    Brendan is a former MMA fighter and gets back into the cage to win a spot in the tournament.     Brendan's estranged brother Tommy (Hardy) returns from fighting in Iraq and wants to enter the tournament as well, but for different reasons that are made clear later.    Tommy enlists his father Paddy (Nolte), a recovering alcoholic who made life miserable for Brendan and Tommy growing up, as his coach.     Despite Paddy's recovery and desire to be closer to his sons, Brendan and Tommy are leery of him and each other.     The numerous wounds caused by Paddy's alcoholism are still gaping after many years.  

Brendan is a submission specialist while Tommy relies on brutal kicks and punches to knock his opponents out.    It comes as no surprise that the brothers will face off in the tournament and both have plenty to gain by winning, but they also must face resentments and pain which hurt as much as a leg lock or a punch to the face.     Warrior is not a "feel good" story.    Who wins the fight is secondary to whether the brothers are able to reconcile and forge forward as a family again.     I was truthfully more moved by Brendan's plight than Tommy's.     In fact, the way Tommy's situation is discovered and dealt with is rather unrealistic.   "Military police are waiting until after the fight before placing him into custody," says a TV news anchor covering the story.   Uh-huh.    I actually would've preferred it if this story line were dropped altogether, but I guess it's needed to provide Tommy an altruistic reason for fighting.

The performances are strong, with Edgerton's Brendan being the more sympathetic of the brothers.    Tommy (Hardy) is full of anger and bitterness, but softens up in a key scene when his old man falls off the wagon.    Nick Nolte is the best he has been in years, realizing slowly that his recovery won't necessarily be welcomed with open arms by his sons.    You'll notice I wrote more about the family than I did about the tournament itself.     The fight scenes are well choreographed and exciting, but they are only the backdrop.     I won't reveal who wins the big fight, but I was moved by the emotional payoff that came with it.    Really moved. 

Here Comes The Boom (2012) * *

Directed by:  Frank Coraci

Starring:  Kevin James, Salma Hayek, Henry Winkler, Greg Germann, Joe Rogan

Scott Voss is a Boston schoolteacher who is playing out the string.    His claim to fame was a "Teacher Of The Year" award from 10 years ago and his only reason to come to work is to hit on the school's sexy nurse Bella (Hayek).    Later, at a staff meeting, he learns the school is working on a budget deficit and will be cutting the school's arts and music programs.     Scott's best friend Marty (Winkler) is a music teacher and will soon be out of a job due to the cuts, unless Scott can figure out how to raise $48,000 to keep the programs.  

Scott signs up to teach citizenship classes to a bunch of goofballs, but the paltry pay won't help the cause, so he decides after watching a UFC fight on TV that he could try his hand at mixed martial arts.   After all, even the loser gets paid pretty decent money in those fights, if you're willing to get your head beat in.     This is the setup for Here Comes The Boom, an uneven comedy mixing MMA with Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions.    That means at least once someone is going to get vomited on or have an attack of diarrhea.     The former happens, by the way.  

There is certainly a good movie to be made from this material, but it keeps distracting itself with unnecessary painful slapstick and gross-out humor.     I've grown quite weary of bodily functions gone amok in recent comedies.    Ever since the kid from American Pie accidentally drank someone else's semen, movie comedies have tried upping the ante with this stuff.     It's tired.    It's played out.   It's appealing to the lowest common denominator.     Since Kevin James co-wrote the script, he will have to take some blame for this.

The fight scenes have intrinsic interest because we want to see how an out-of-shape former collegiate wrestler like Scott would do in cage fighting.    His first fight ends with him being knocked out with one punch, but things get better as he trains with Nico, a Dutch former MMA fighter who attends Scott's citizenship classes.      Money begins pouring into the school's coffers and Scott becomes famous, mostly for throwing up accidentally on his opponent.     Scott's biggest strength appears to be his ability to take a licking and keep on ticking.     Hey, Rocky Marciano went 49-0 boxing this way in the 1950's.    

You know that Scott will soon find himself in "the big fight" with lots of money on the line.    You know that Bella will eventually fall for Scott because, otherwise, what's the point of her being in the movie?     Does he win?   Does a bear crap in the woods?     Kevin James is likable so we wince when we see him getting hammered and tied up in painful submission holds by his opponents.    We then get an obligatory scene of someone resetting his dislocated shoulder.  

Maybe Here Comes The Boom might've worked better if it were more serious or got its laughs from sources other than pratfalls and silly behavior.     Warrior (2011) was a very good film about MMA.    Here Comes The Boom doesn't have such lofty goals and is comfortable taking the low road.   

Snitch (2013) * * 1/2

Directed by:  Ric Roman Waugh

Starring:  Dwayne Johnson, Jon Bernthal, Barry Pepper, Susan Sarandon, Benjamin Bratt, Michael K. Williams, Rafi Savron

How is the "War On Drugs" expected to be won when the system is set up as quasi-McCarthyism?    In Snitch, teenager Jason Collins (Savron) receives a call from a friend asking to accept a drug package to hold for him.    Collins refuses, but the package is sent to him anyway.     As soon as Collins opens it, his home is swarmed by DEA agents in an obvious sting operation.     The friend was pinched for drug distribution and was forced to set up Jason to get his sentence reduced or commuted.     Jason is now facing a mandatory 10-year prison term for distribution.   The DEA is figuring they will eventually land a big fish this way, but it requires a certain degree of amorality to have friends set up their other innocent friends.  

Any decent lawyer could likely get the case thrown out, especially since Jason never even opened the giant bag of pills in the box.    In Snitch, Jason's father John Matthews (Johnson), is forced to take extreme measures in order to free his son, which means he seeks out a drug dealer and sets him up.    For John, though, this involves a dangerous game in which he is clearly in over his head.     John also has to implicate an ex-con (Bernthal) who works for him and is trying to rebuild his life.    The ex-con, Daniel, initially wants no part in the scheme, but John's lucrative offer of $20,000 helps grease the rails. 

A refreshing aspect of Snitch is how Matthews is simply an ordinary man caught up in nightmarish circumstances.     With an action star like Johnson playing Matthews, you expect him to be inexplicably able to beat up 10 guys at once and shoot a gun like a professional marksman.    However, after receiving a beatdown at the hands of local thugs he was trying to set up, we see that John Matthews isn't one for fisticuffs and firing weapons even though he is a tall hulk of a man.     He has to use his brains and a little luck to figure his way out of this situation, which becomes all the more dangerous when drug kingpins like El Topo (Bratt) and Malik (Williams) enter the scene.   

Matthews also has moral tug of wars with both a veteran DEA agent (Pepper) and the local Federal prosecutor seeking higher office (Sarandon).    They see how Matthews is getting in deeper and deeper and even sympathize with him, but they also feel nabbing the big catch may have to take precedent.     It's a shame that Matthews would have to go to such lengths to free his son, but that's the game the "War On Drugs" has set up.  

Dwayne Johnson moves through the film with authority.    He is of course a big guy due to his past as a professional wrestler, but he displays intelligence and determination.    He is not a one-dimensional action star.    He proves in Snitch that as an actor he is not out of his depth, even in scenes with veterans like Oscar-winner Sarandon and Pepper.   The only thing that really kept me from enjoying Snitch thoroughly was that it isn't amped up to the suspense and energy levels one would normally see in a thriller.    Perhaps this is because you kinda sorta know that Matthews won't fail.   After all, who wants to see an ending in which Jason has to wind up serving 10 years in prison getting brutalized by thugs?     Snitch, however, is a lot better than I anticipated, because it is plausible and is more interested in showing that the war against drug cartels comes down to saving one's hide by "naming names."   

Man Of Steel (2013) *

Directed by:  Zack Snyder

Starring:  Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Kevin Costner, Russell Crowe, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane

Man Of Steel is an incomprehensible mess.   When did Superman become such a bore?   There is no joy, life, or humor here.   Superman (Cavill) soars through the air screaming at the top of his lungs and clenching his fists, but there is no character there.   The scenes where he actually talks to people using his inside voice are even worse.    The fights between Superman and his enemies consist mainly of the two combatants jetting towards each other and colliding in mid-air, thus the force of collision sends them a. crashing through building after building or b.  ripping up the ground like a stone skipping on a pond.     The film is CGI on steroids.    It's unpleasant even to look at.  

The film is yet another retelling of Superman's origin into the guy wearing the blue suit and red cape with the "S" on it.    This is the first Superman film to explain what the S stands for (and it isn't Superman).    Superman's home planet is near self-destruction due to reasons too numerous to be recapped here.    Jor-El (Crowe) and his wife Lara become proud parents to son Kal-El soon before an attempted coup by the evil General Zod (Shannon).    Zod wants to restore Krypton to greatness, although considering Krypton's time left can be measured in days, Jor-El sounds reasonable when he tells Zod, "you will be the ruler of nothing."     Zod's coup fails, but not before he kills Jor-El in an attempt to gain control of a gray skull which contains "the genetic registry of all of Krypton".    Jor-El manages to inject his son with its contents before shipping him off to Earth.     Considering the ease in which Jor-El gains access to this skull, one questions why something so important can be so easily obtained.      Zod and his cohorts are sentenced to "the Phantom Zone", in which all are cryogenically frozen and shipped into space.     They're doing him a favor, since Krypton is hours from exploding. 

Kal-El travels to Earth and through flashbacks we see he is discovered by Jonathan and Martha Kent (Costner and Lane), who know the child is not of this Earth and must keep his powers a secret.    Something about "the world isn't ready for him", they say over and over.    In a world where we have Gangnam style dancing, the Kardashians, and UFC fighting, I don't think having Clark Kent flying around saving people from death would be unwelcome.    Clark grows up, sporting a beard while working on an Alaskan fishing boat and trying to blend in, but that's impossible because he soon encounters an exploding oil rig and the only way to save everyone is to perform feats of superhuman strength.    Everywhere he goes, he encounters situations in which he must put his skills to use, creating an urban legend.

Enter Lois Lane (Adams) who works for The Daily Planet and stumbles across a 20,000 year old alien vessel trapped in the Alaskan ice.    She then discovers Clark Kent, who saves her from an alien probe thingy and cauterizes her wounds with lasers emitting from his eyes.    She then goes on a quest to find out who this mystery man is, which doesn't seem to take very long.    She interviews a few people and voila, she is face to face with Clark in a Smallville cemetery.    Meanwhile, Zod finds his way to Earth and threatens to destroy all of humankind if Clark/Kal-El/Superman doesn't surrender to him.    Zod now sports a goatee, which is supposed to add to the menacing look, and soon enough Zod and Superman are battling to the death with the fate of the world hanging in the balance.    It's funny how, although the entire world is threatened, only the US Army shows up to assist Superman in fighting Zod.    This would be a perfect time for Iran or North Korea to unveil those nuclear weapons they've been bragging about.  

The battles are endless and boring.    None of the characters are written with any depth.   Jor-El even reappears as a ghost, although he can use telekinesis to move things and predict the future.    And how does he even know how to stop Zod's plan?   There is also this business of a key with the "S" logo on it, which fits into keyholes of various pieces of Kryptonian machinery.    It seems there are many copies of this key, but I doubt one can go to a Home Depot to get copies made, so where do they come from?    Soon enough, I gave up trying to follow the plot or the action, since there are so many loud explosions and things flying around that it becomes a blur.     Not that I cared anyway, since nothing or no one in Man Of Steel is worth caring about.    It is interested in bone-crunching, exploding mayhem.

The original Superman (1978) and two of its sequels all were simpler and much more effective.    Zod in Superman II wasn't interested in recreating a master race, but ruling Earth.    Superman/Clark Kent as played by Christopher Reeve was multi-dimensional and played with sly, knowing humor.   He let you in on the fact that his Clark Kent was a well-controlled act, so you could see why Lois Lane was fooled into believing that Clark and Superman weren't the same person.    In Man Of Steel, Clark/Superman is a monosyllabic shell of a person.    He does have facial hair in some scenes, which shows Meaning and Inner Conflict, but he is quickly clean-shaven as soon as he dons the Superman cape.    Does he carry a razor around for times just like these?    One more question before I put this to bed:  Does Superman have limits to his powers?    He strains when he has to lift the oil rig and when he is beat up by Zod's gang, he is slow to recover.    Yet, he is thrown through glass and concrete and bounces right back.   And since he grows up from a child to a man, is it too farfetched to think one day he will be a gray-haired, wrinkled old man flying around saving people in distress?    Ok, that's two questions. 

Behind The Candelabra (2013) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  Steven Soderbergh

Starring:  Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Dan Aykroyd, Scott Bakula, Debbie Reynolds

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful," Liberace said often during his performances, which contained plenty of the over-the-top glitz that the famed pianist was famous for.     He earned the title "Mr. Showmanship", not just for the excess, jewelry, the candelabra on top of the piano, and the bells and whistles which were part of his shows, but because of his charisma and ability to connect with audiences.     Behind The Candelabra concentrates more on the personal side of the man, focusing mainly on his six-year relationship with a man 40 years his junior which began in the late 70's.     The film never fails to be fascinating as it explores a man who humbly dubbed himself, "just a piano player", but who was caring, compassionate, generous, and flawed.   

Liberace's homosexuality may have been the worst kept secret in Hollywood, although he successfully sued a London tabloid for libel which printed a story that he was gay .    He was conscious of his public image, sticking with the story that "he just never found the right girl" and his high-priced attorney Seymour (Aykroyd) worked tirelessly to keep the facade going.    But who really was fooled?    I recall the 2005 film Good Night, and Good Luck in which Edward R. Murrow interviewed Liberace on his TV news show and Liberace tried to sell him the same bill of goods.    After the interview concluded, Murrow just shook his head, not buying Liberace's story for one second.     

Liberace met Scott Thorson (Damon) during a show circa 1976.   Thorson was a teenager who was studying to be a veterinarian.    When Thorson procured medicine to help cure Liberace's poodle's eye condition, the two become friends and then quickly lovers.     Liberace bestowed gifts, cars, and even an apartment on Thorson, which according to his jealous houseboy Carvulli is something Liberace did often.   "I've seen boys like you come and go, but I'm still here,"  he says, not believing that he would eventually be shown the door also.

The two fall in love, but things go sour when Liberace gets a facelift done and orders facial surgery for Thorson so he could look like a much younger version of himself.     Thorson becomes addicted to diet pills and then cocaine in his attempts to stay thin and stay in Liberace's good graces.     Liberace even has plans to adopt Thorson, which adds an element of creepiness to their relationship.    Thorson loves Liberace, but keeps a certain detachment from him by saying he's bisexual and refusing to receive anal sex because "it's repugnant."    Liberace responds by traveling to a remote Las Vegas adult bookstore and glory-holing with strange men.     The pattern seems to be that Liberace lavishes his boy toys with endless gifts and then grows tired of them.     Seymour has kicked out so many boy toys on Liberace's behalf that he approaches it with weary inevitability.   

Behind The Candelabra unflinchingly shows Liberace in all of his glory, including shocking, frank scenes of gay sex, but yet Michael Douglas' performance isn't caricature.    He is never overly flamboyant or over-the-top.    He presents Liberace as both the loving, doting father figure for Thorson and also as a flawed, troubled, sometimes spiteful man.     Liberace is a complicated, fully developed human being whom we know intimately.      As Scott Thorson, Damon expertly expresses the conflict within himself as he sees things go wrong with Liberace.    He wants to be more than a boy toy, but can't resist the lifestyle he has grown accustomed to.    Behind The Candelabra is based on Thorson's autobiography, but it doesn't necessarily paint him as a wronged hero, nor does it paint Liberace as an egotistical monster.     It is very even-handed.

I was especially moved by the closing scenes in which Liberace, sick with AIDS, reconnects with Thorson.     On his deathbed, he and Thorson are able to reconcile their ugly past and move forward with forgiveness and compassion.     Thorson attends Liberace's funeral and fantasizes that Liberace isn't in the casket, but putting on one last show just for him, singing "The Impossible Dream" and ascending in the heavens.    It sounds hammy, I know, but it works.    

Liberace died in 1987 after succumbing to complications from AIDS.   Even at the end, he denied his homosexuality to the public and his handlers attempted to denote the cause of death as "heart failure stemming from anemia caused by consumption of an all watermelon diet."    Uh huh.    This didn't hold up long under medical scrutiny and the truth was later revealed.    But it goes to show that Liberace showed his audience what they wanted to see and they ate it up.    Even in death, he tried to do the same thing.  

Richard Pryor: Omit The Logic (2013) * * *

Directed by:  Marina Zenovich

Could Richard Pryor have flourished in the present day as a stand-up comedian?    He was a ground-breaking comedian who spoke with unflinching honesty and humor about being black in America, drug use, and autobiographical stories about growing up in a brothel run by his family.     There was no subject that was off-limits for him to discuss.     He would appear on Johnny Carson and throw the n-word around in a way that would never be tolerated today.     Pryor's album titles included variations on the n-word that would not be accepted today.     He came along at the right time, when comedians didn't speak with such frankness and there were many barriers that needed to be broken.  
Omit The Logic is an engaging documentary which shows the funny and tragic side of the legendary comedian.

Growing up as Pryor did, he didn't stand much of a chance of functioning as a normal adult.     He grew up in a brothel run by his family and witnessed things daily that young boys shouldn't be forced to witness, such as his mother prostituting herself and rampant drug use.    Pryor used what he witnessed as fodder for his stand-up act, or was it a form of therapy?   Comedy wasn't therapeutic enough and Pryor began a lifelong battle with drugs and alcohol which turned him into a public spectacle at times.     His most infamous drug-related incident occurred on June 9, 1980, when Pryor poured rum on himself and lit himself on fire following a three-week freebasing bender.    This was reported as accidental at first, but Pryor revealed later that it was a suicide attempt.   George Carlin referenced this in his own act, stating, "I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks two to one, but he leads me in setting my entire body on fire 1-0".    After this incident, Pryor was clean for a bit, but suffered relapses which had negative effects on his career and his health.     Until he was diagnosed with MS in the early 1990's, Pryor's battle with drugs and alcohol continued.   

Pryor married 7 times, including marrying two different women twice.    One of Richard's former girlfriends saw him as one who loved the chase more than the conquest.    "He would spend his energy getting the girl and then spend his energy trying to get rid of her".    In between his marriages and drug addiction, he also made some very funny and not-so very funny movies, two concert films, a TV show which pushed the limits of censorship, and of course some brilliant standup.     Richard Pryor was possibly more autobiographical on stage than any other comedian.    He didn't necessarily say it all for laughs.    He had stories to tell, like one would tell in an AA meeting.     When I first heard a Richard Pryor album, I would characterize him as "Hilariously funny for 10 minutes and then not funny for an hour."    Little did I realize that he wasn't a laffaminit comedian, but someone who was communicating his life and pain for all to see.     I can't imagine I would ever have wanted to trade places with him.

The documentary covers plenty of ground, including showing previously unseen footage from the filming of "Live On The Sunset Strip".   The movie everyone saw was actually his second comeback concert.   The first one went horribly, with Pryor stumbling through an ad-libbed act without the fire and confidence that marked previous performances.    He left the stage after one hour to a booing crowd.     He returned the following night and the rest is history.    Many celebrities, family members, and friends provided honest insight into a man who wasn't easy to get along with or read.     Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams commend his comedic talents, while friends and family lament the fact that drugs prevented Richard Pryor from being even greater than he already was. 

Avatar (2009) * *

Directed by:  James Cameron

Starring:  Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Zoe Saldana

Stop me if you've heard this plot before.    A stranger makes contact with a race of people whose ways are foreign to him.    After spending time with the group, learning their ways, and then falling in love, he joins his newfound compadres in a battle against those wishing to eradicate them.      That's the plot of Dances With Wolves (1990), Kevin Costner's Oscar-winning epic and it's also the plot of Avatar.    The only difference is that Avatar's Dances With Wolves character, Jake Sully, is originally supposed to infiltrate the Na'vi (a group of blue alien-looking types) to gain information about the moon they occupy named Pandora, so Marines can destroy them and take over Pandora and mine its natural resources.      Jake Sully is a legless Marine, who through computer technology, is able to create an avatar of himself which would allow him bear a resemblance to the blue people.  

Avatar is long on visuals and very short on anything else to care about.     It went on to become the highest grossing film of all time, beating out Cameron's own Titanic.      While Titanic had a stronger backstory accompanying the sinking ship, Avatar's plot is an ancient retread.     Some ancient retreads work well, mind you, but Avatar provides one-dimensional characters (including the blue people) so we can only distract ourselves with the digital visual effects and art direction for so long before we get bored.

I'm not certain how much Cameron even cared about the plot.    He seems more interested in plastering the latest visual technology all over the screen.     I've maintained that characters and story trump visuals every time and this is no more evident than in Avatar.    Anyone who wasn't a fan of Star Wars Episodes I and II (like me) can attest to this.     Dances With Wolves, which I can't help but compare this movie to, took time to establish its characters so we grew to care about them.    The Native American tribes weren't seen as a hostile, or even friendly group, but as distinct individuals with their own personalities.     No one in Avatar seems to have much of a personality at all.    Col. Miles Quartich (Lang) is Sully's superior and is so gung-ho and muscle bound that he is nearly a parody of gung-ho Marines you see in other movies.     Sully himself is rather mundane as played by Worthington and we're not much moved when he decides to stand with the Na'vi in their fight.    The actors who play the Na'vi are of course digitally disguised but nobody really stood out anyway.

Avatar, from a technological and visual standpoint, is extremely well done.    Cameron has never been afraid to test the waters with the latest movie technology.      But soon enough, we find ourselves witnessing a gun and laser battle like the one in Return Of The Jedi, in which the Ewoks subdued the Empire with rocks, gadgets, and spears.    Sully's avatar battles Quartich's avatar in giant At-At looking things and half of the moon is blown up.

Quick question on this:  Is it wise for the bad guys to destroy half of the surface of the moon they wish to mine with high-tech gunplay?    Any plans they had for the forests may have to be put on the backburner. 

The Graduate (1967) * * * *

Directed by:  Mike Nichols

Starring:  Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross, William Daniels, Murray Hamilton, Elizabeth Wilson


At one time, The Graduate was my favorite film.  Period.  Nothing else could possibly top it.   That was over twenty years ago.  The Graduate remains a great film, even if the years have eroded some of its luster, but it's still thoroughly enjoyable. 

The Graduate follows Benjamin Braddock (Hoffman), a recent college graduate facing an uncertain future.    These days, college graduates need to worry about whether any jobs will be available.   In 1967, graduates like Benjamin were undecided about their direction.    Once they decided, a job was more than likely available.    A family friend suggests "plastics" to Benjamin, who has no idea what is meant by that.    At his graduation party, Benjamin retreats from constant interrogation from his parents' friends to a quiet room with a fish tank.     Mrs. Robinson (Bancroft) "accidentally" comes into the room and asks (more like insists) that Benjamin drive her home.

Mrs. Robinson, the sultry, bored wife of Benjamin's father's law partner, takes her clothes off and offers to seduce Benjamin.   He doesn't take her up on the offer at first, but soon they are engaged in a months-long affair which seems to lack any joy for either person.   This is why Mrs. Robinson's objection to Benjamin's eventual pursuit of her daughter Elaine  (Ross) is a swerve.  She seemed to regard Benjamin as a meaningless sex partner and little else, so why is Mrs. Robinson suddenly jealous of her daughter?  This is never fully explained.

Elaine is a pretty girl who seems to love Benjamin, but is being pushed into marriage to a blond jock by her parents.   Her relationship with Benjamin sours when his affair with her mother is revealed.   Brokenhearted Benjamin decides to win Elaine back, which considering that he banged her mother, turns out to be a fairly easy accomplishment.  In one scene, she confronts Benjamin with the belief that he raped her mother.    He denies it and soon they are talking marriage.   The ending is well-known, as Benjamin interrupts Elaine's wedding and the two run away together.  The final shots of the two aboard the bus have also been the subject of debate.  Are they happy?   Scared?   Relieved?  Uncertain?   

Despite the years between viewings, I found The Graduate to be a superior romantic comedy.  Yes, there are plot points that are glossed over for the sake of moving the story forward, but the performances are always great.   Hoffman's Benjamin lacks confidence and certainty, leading to some awkward, yet funny moments.   Watch Benjamin's reaction when a hotel desk clerk, played by Buck Henry (who also co-wrote the script), asks innocuously, "Are you here for an affair, sir?"  Bancroft, who was actually only six years older than Hoffman, remains a figure of desperation and loneliness even though the plot turns her into a spiteful witch.  

My view of The Graduate twenty-plus years ago was that it was a near-perfect film.  It is still a classic, albeit not perfect, but how many movies are?  

Rumor Has It (2005) * * *

Directed by:  Rob Reiner

Starring:  Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Mark Ruffalo, Shirley MacLaine, Richard Jenkins


When I was in my late teens/early 20's, my favorite film was The Graduate.    Now in my early 40's, I still love The Graduate, although my enthusiasm for it has waned over time.     Why do I bring up The Graduate during a review of Rumor Has It?    Because the book which was turned into the 1967 movie plays an integral part with many of the characters in this film.     Mid-30ish Sarah Huttinger (Aniston) travels to Pasadena with her nice-guy fiance Jeff (Ruffalo), who patiently deals with Sarah's neurotic insecurities.    She hears a rumor that Charles Webb, the writer of The Graduate, based his characters on real people from Pasadena, with the names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.    Hmmm.   

Members of her family seem to fit the profile.    Sarah's mother Jocelyn, now deceased, fled to Mexico days before her wedding and hooked up with a man named Beau Borroughs (Costner), who has the same initials as Benjamin Braddock of The Graduate.     Jocelyn returned after a few days and married Sarah's father Earl (Jenkins), but was her mother pregnant with Beau's child instead of Earl's?   The timeline between the wedding and Sarah's birth seems to indicate that, but who knows?    Oh, and there's the small matter of Beau having an affair with Jocelyn's mother Katharine Richileu (MacLaine).    

Sarah is determined to find out the truth and travels to San Francisco to meet Beau Borroughs, who is now a multi-millionaire looking to increase his fortunes in the fledgling internet market (the film takes place in 1997).     Beau is a charismatic, pleasant guy who likes Sarah and I will not reveal whether Sarah becomes the third-generation Richileu to sleep with him.    I liked Beau's response when Sarah sees President Clinton on TV and asks "Do you know him?"   Beau said, "I don't know if anyone can truly know him, but I've spent time with him." 

Rumor Has It is a likable romantic comedy filled with likable characters with The Graduate forming a subtext with every scene.    It's a quasi-continuation of the original story with also some background information which fills in the blanks.    "I never finished college," Beau confesses, "but calling the book The Dropout just doesn't have the same ring."    And there isn't a million miles difference between Anne Bancroft's Mrs. Robinson and MacLaine's Katharine Richileu, which means both have a love of bourbon.    It's difficult not to enjoy the performances, especially Costner who displays effortless charm even as the film skirts a potential ick factor.    I was also moved by Richard Jenkins, who shows interminable patience and tact in a crucial scene.   

Rob Reiner, who cut his teeth in show business as Meathead from All In The Family, is a gifted director of comedy.    In films like Stand By Me, The Sure Thing, The American President, Flipped, and even A Few Good Men (which wasn't a comedy), Reiner is a confident, steady hand.   Rumor Has It has its heart in the right place.    It's not deep, but it does provide an answer to the question many of us Graduate fans always had:   Did Benjamin Braddock ever get into plastics?   

A Pro Athlete Doesn't Care What The Fans Think? The Sky Is Falling!!!

New Philadelphia Eagles cornerback Cary Williams has come under fire this week because he skipped the team's voluntary organized team activities (OTA's) to attend to family and personal matters.     Then, in an interview with 97.5's Mike Missanelli last Friday afternoon, Williams defended his decision and when asked if he was concerned about the fans' reaction, he said it didn't matter to him what the fans thought.     Outrage!!!  Callers burned up the airwaves sounding like teenagers who were stood up at the prom.     Oh, the indignation!!  Cary Williams doesn't care what I think?    Oh, I can't bear it!!!  

I hate to shatter everyone's illusions, but pro athletes are doing a job.   Yes, it's something they love to do and get paid a lot of money to do, but it's their job.    They are going to play for the team that makes the most financial sense for them and their families.   99.9% of people will never know what it's like to play even one down of a pro football game.     Being a pro athlete means being able to shut out fan reaction on and off the field.     Fans are a fickle bunch.     You show me a sports hero today and I'll show you someone who fans will want run out of town on a rail tomorrow.      Without taking a poll, I will bet that most pro athletes hold fan approval on their priority list slightly above taking out the trash.      I understand that fans think because they pay for tickets that their opinions should matter the most.     Let me throw a question to all of you people out there in customer service positions:  The customer pays your bills by buying your product or patronizing your store.     Do you always treat them right?   Do you always care what they think?    Are there days you treat them rudely because you're just not having a good day?    In a perfect world, the customer should matter the most, but it doesn't always work that way. 

Fans have a right to voice their opinions and athletes have a right not to care about those opinions.    I've met my share of pro athletes and coaches over the years.    Some were nice, some aloof, and others have heard praise so often they were numb to it.     We as a society place entirely too much stock in pro athletes, holding them to standards that couldn't possibly be upheld.     "Cary Williams missed a practice to attend his daughter's dance recital?" people ask with disdain, as if any of these fans never called out of work because it was raining outside or just plain didn't feel like coming to work that day.   Come on, you can be honest, you've done that.   We have all done it.    But somehow, football players aren't allowed to miss voluntary practices being held in May.    Not allowed.   

Many people seem to tie their self-worth to whether their favorite sports teams win or lose.    George Carlin once said it was silly to place your happiness in the hands of a group of strangers, but that's what some do.    In their mind, if Cary Williams misses practice twice then that will adversely affect him and thus the team and thus the Eagles won't win the Superbowl again this year....oh, woe is us fans.      I understand that a fan pays his money and expects to see a quality product on the field.    No one wants to pay several hundred or thousand dollars to watch a team get blown out every week.    But does that give the fan the right to tell a player he must attend a voluntary practice in May?    Does a fan suddenly dictate what is an acceptable reason for missing team activities?    Is an immediate family member's funeral an ok reason to miss but an aunt's or uncle's not?   Would a fan want a stranger in his face over the fact that he didn't show up at the office last Tuesday?  

Then again, once the season starts, does anything matter if Williams makes 2 or 3 interceptions in the first three games?   Nope.   The same radio pundits raking him over the coals now will be giving away his jersey to the 8th caller and petitioning his induction into the Hall of Fame.    If Williams has continued success, the fans will then demand that Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie pay him an absurd amount of money.    Then, if Williams' performance drops off, the fans will bring up this missed practice nonsense from May 2013 and complain how he's a spoiled rich athlete who doesn't care about the fans.

At least Williams had the honesty to admit it.    I applaud him for that.    Oh, and not to disillusion you further sports fans, but the stripper you buy lap dances from at your local strip joint doesn't really think you're cute either.   

The Internship (2013) * 1/2

Directed by:  Shawn Levy

Starring:  Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rose Byrne

 The Internship had ingredients to work as a poignant comedy, but the results are tepid.    Vaughn (who co-wrote the screenplay) and Wilson try hard to elevate this dreck, but I expected a film about unemployed fortysomethings competing against technologically superior college grads for a Google internship to have more bite.   Instead, we are forced to settle for Vaughn and Wilson using their people skills to help a team of awkward nerds realize their potential and win the internship.     It's underwhelming and flat.  

The Internship opens with watch salesmen Billy and Nicky (Vaughn and Wilson) trying to close a major client over dinner.    The client informs them before their boss does that their company closed and the two are out of a job.   Nicky takes a job with his sister's boyfriend (Will Ferrell-unbilled) as a mattress salesman.    Ferrell cameoed in Wedding Crashers and was a lot funnier there.    I knew I was in for a long movie when his cameo here resulted in zero laughs.

Billy and Nicky apply for an internship at Google and interview via webcam with their prospective employers.     This scene flies off the rails so badly that I wished Google would've turned them down on the spot and thus making the film only 20 minutes long.    But alas, the two knuckleheads are hired because someone Sees Something In Them.     Google's headquarters are complete with free food, a slide which connects floors, and lots of colors.     It looks like a day care center gone berserk.    Maybe the real Google headquarters is set up like this, but I hope not.   

At Google, interns divide up into teams and attempt to work their way into a job there.   Billy and Nicky are regarded as dinosaurs and are left with other undesirables to form a team that reminded me of an intern Land Of Misfit Toys.   Of course, the team doesn't gel at first because the techno nerds think little of Billy and Nicky, but then the team comes together and learns to Respect and Trust Each Other.     This starts during a Quiddich game.     Yes, a Quiddich game, a la Harry Potter but without the flying around on brooms.    Instead the participants have to run with the brooms between their legs.    The team truly unites during a drunken night at a local strip club, which must know it is in a PG-13 rated film and the dancers dress appropriately.   In other words, they are attired in entirely too much clothing. 

The Internship then makes the fatal mistake of becoming earnest and forthright when it should be edgier.   Nicky gains a love interest, a workaholic Google executive named Dana (Byrne), who predictably rejects his early advances and then, just when the script requires it, she goes on a date with him and falls in love.   There is no chemistry between the two even though both are likable enough.    Billy and Nicky give at least four peptalks, either to the team or to each other, about going for your dreams, taking risks, giving it your all, yada, yada, yada.   Am I watching a comedy or a Tony Robbins motivational speech? 

Wilson and Vaughn worked together before in Starsky and Hutch and Wedding Crashers, two comedies which made me laugh a lot more than The Internship.   For all of the lip service given to taking risks in The Internship, it's amazing the filmmakers didn't follow its own advice.    However, I thought the team's idea for a phone app wasn't so bad.    The app asks you a difficult question you must answer correctly before you send a drunken text you may regret.    How the phone knows your text is being sent while in a drunken state I don't know, but I should've been made to correctly answer a difficult question before I was allowed to plunk down $10.00 for this movie.