Aloha (2015) * 1/2

Directed by:  Cameron Crowe

Starring:  Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Alec Baldwin, Bill Murray, John Krasinski, Danny McBride

Aloha stars numerous appealing actors who will no doubt be appealing again, but here they are trapped in a dead zone.     It is a romantic comedy without romance or laughs.    There is little chemistry between Cooper and Stone, Cooper and McAdams, and McAdams and Krasinski.     The actors try mightily to elevate Aloha, but it is for naught.   

The film opens with aerospace contractor (I think) and former Air Force hotshot (I think) Brian Gilcrest (Cooper) landing in Hawaii after many years away.   He works now for a private contractor run by scruffy Carson Welch (Murray), who looks like he needs a shave and a nap more than anything.    Gilcrest's job is to convince locals to allow a satellite to be placed in the sky above their airspace.    He does that, although is it anyone's place to be bargaining over where to place a satellite?   Which is usually placed somewhere in Earth's orbit?    Gilcrest is accompanied by Allison Ng (Stone), who has an Asian last name but of course looks like Emma Stone and not an Asian woman.    Cameron Crowe recently apologized for casting Stone in the role and not an Asian actress.     He should apologize for the film itself, although considering how underdeveloped these characters are, it makes little difference who is cast.  

Ng's job is to keep Gilcrest out of trouble (I think), but mainly she is but a budding love interest for him.    Gilcrest's eyes, however, may be diverted elsewhere, as he has unfinished business with his former flame Tracy (McAdams), who is married to a pilot/man of few words named Woody (Krasinski).    Brian and Tracy hadn't seen each other in thirteen years and Tracy's oldest daughter is around that age.    Is Brian the real father?    Does a bear do its business in the woods?

I don't wish to go on and labor about the film's plot and subplots.    And believe me it is labor.    Why would I bother describing something that is so uninteresting anyway?    Watching Aloha is like attending a party in which everyone knows each other and you know no one.    You try in vain to keep up with stories and fit into the conversation, but ultimately you feel left out and you have a lousy time.

The people here change their minds and feelings so fast you get whiplash, but no matter what the actors can't find the right tone for them because they are at the mercy of the plot anyway.   It is a shame to assemble all of this talent in one place and thoroughly waste it.