Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989) *

Directed by:  Jean Claude Lord

Starring:  Michael Pare, Marina Orsini, Matthew Laurance, Bernie Coulson, Anthony Sherwood, Kate Lynch

I thought I needed to suspend considerable disbelief watching the original Eddie and the Cruisers (1983), but the unnecessary sequel asks way too much of me.     Eddie lives now in Canada as a construction worker named Joe West. When he succumbs to the itch to perform again, he belts out flaccid 80's pop songs (sung by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band again) with precisely Eddie's voice.    If Jim Morrison returned from the dead under an assumed identity and looked and sang just like Jim Morrison, wouldn't it arouse at least a little suspicion?

There are no Cruisers in Eddie and the Cruisers II, except for one who appears in a cameo and deals with the return of his long gone best friend with way too much aplomb.    The original film was silly, but Cafferty at least provided us with some catchy original tunes and decent 60's staples covers like Runaround Sue.   In Part II, Cafferty's songs are dated and unmemorable.   I have a hard time believing any agent or manager would listen to them and be compelled to sign Eddie's new band. 

As the sequel opens, the record executives at Eddie's old label unearth "lost Eddie Wilson tapes" which they suggest were recorded after Eddie's presumed 1963 death in a road accident.    The answer to when they were recorded lies in a laughable interview with Bo Diddley (playing himself).  Putting up with Eddie/Joe is no small task.   It requires as much patience from his bandmates as it does from us to watch him.   He bellows on about "the music" and then proceeds to belt out their lame numbers.    And why did Eddie devastate his loved ones and friends by faking his death?    He mutters something about artistic integrity being compromised as the Cruisers gained popularity.    His life would've been considerably less stressful if he simply retired and didn't subject himself to possible criminal charges.  As far as I know, faking your own death is against the law somehow.

Eddie Wilson remains a shallow bore as much as he did in the first film.    We learn nothing about what it was like for him to be in hiding for over twenty years.    How did he avoid detection with just a mustache as the extent of his alteration of his appearance?    I was reminded of Jerry Seinfeld's classic bit about Clark Kent and Superman.   ("Let's face it folks, glasses are an excellent disguise")  Maybe Kent was onto something.    But no matter, Wilson's revelation of the world's worst-kept secret to a packed concert hall house causes barely any tremors.    If John Lennon suddenly materialized, the crowd would likely be too shocked with disbelief to cheer on any more songs.