The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (2018) * * *

Directed by:  Judd Apatow

Featuring:  Garry Shandling, Jim Carrey, Jay Leno, Judd Apatow, Linda Doucett, Jeffrey Tambor, Al Jean

The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling is Judd Apatow's love letter to his late mentor.    To its credit, it doesn't pull punches about its subject.    To Apatow, not presenting the comedian warts and all would be a disservice and also less interesting.     Shandling, as a stand-up comic, actor, and late night talk show fill-in host, seemed to be holding back.    He managed to be funny and witty while being completely ill at-ease within his own skin.    Being happy was hard work for Shandling, as his written diaries which are highlighted in this two-part documentary tell us.    He had to talk himself into being happy and not to dwell on the negative.    If you need to consistently give yourself a written reminder to be happy and to let go, chances are you likely won't do either.   

Shandling is best known to older audiences as the star of the late 80's "It's Garry Shandling's Show" and the 90's HBO comedy "The Larry Sanders Show", and perhaps to younger audiences as the two-faced Senator Stern in the Marvel Universe movies Iron Man and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.    Roger Ebert wrote of Shandling in his review of the disastrous 2000 film "What Planet Are You From?": " His public persona is of a man unwilling to be in public. Words squeeze embarrassed from his lips as if he feels guilty to be talking."   It is a spot-on analysis and the sometimes overlong four-plus hour documentary confirms that.    Mike Nichols, who directed What Planet..., felt on the first day of shooting that Shandling was not the right actor for the lead role in a comedy, and Shandling spent the rest of the shoot knowing Nichols didn't want to be there.    This would only add to the self-doubt which plagued his life and also propelled him to try harder.

We learn of the event which would forever alter his life, which was the death of his ten-year-old brother and the sometimes unhealthy focus his mother placed on him in his brother's absence.    Shandling would joke about his mother's smothering attention, and we can tell the truth being spoken in jest.    This lack of closure would create a hole in Shandling no amount of success could fill.    It was as if a piece of him remained missing; a wound which never closed.    He never married and his only long-term relationship was with his Larry Sanders co-star Linda Doucett, whom he fired after the breakup which led to a sexual harassment settlement.    Doucett, despite all this, agreed to be interviewed and clearly still had a soft spot in her heart for Shandling.

Apatow has a clear love and appreciation for Shandling, and perhaps so much so that he allows scenes from various shows to run on too long.    The on-camera interviewees marvel at Shandling's work ethic and wit, while also lamenting his insecurities and his inability to let go of grudges, as was the case during his lawsuit against former agent Brad Grey.    The highlighted sections of his diaries seemed more like daily pep talks to snap him out of the sadness which at times threatened to overwhelm him.    Before his sudden 2016 death from a heart ailment, Shandling's diaries suggested he may have finally come to terms with his brother's death and for the first time perhaps ever was eagerly looking toward the future.    How long would this positivity have lasted?   We'll never know.