Old (2021) * 1/2

Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring:  Rufus Sewell, Gael Garcia Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Nolan River, Abbey Lee, Alexa Swinton, Aaron Pierre

The premise of Old is an intriguing one:   A group of vacationers at a swanky island hotel spend the day at a beach where the kids age fifty years in a matter of a few hours and the adults age relatively more slowly, but are still no longer just hours older at the end of the day.    However, the film takes far too long to pay off.  When the traditional Shyamalan Big Reveal rears its head, we are underwhelmed.   Maybe the underlying concept has so much promise that any payoff would be disappointing.   Or maybe the thin characters aren't worth caring about.

The group of tourists include a couple soon to be separating (Krieps and Bernal), who have yet to tell their children of the decision, a burnt-out doctor (Sewell) with his mother, trophy wife (Lee), and young daughter in tow, and a famed rapper named, and I shit you not, "Mid-Size Sedan" (Pierre) who is already on the beach when the others arrive and has a bloody nose and a dead companion nearby.   He has no idea how she died, although the doctor nurses racially motivated suspicions that Mid-Size may have killed her.   Soon, the kids are growing out of their swimsuits and their bodies are aging rapidly.   Also on hand is a male nurse and his psychologist wife who suffers from epilepsy.

Attempts to escape the beach are futile, and soon more aging and death occurs.   The man who drove them to the beach (Shyalaman himself) is nowhere to be found and there is no cell service.   The group deduces quickly that something is aging them and soon things look bleak...because they are.   The curious thing about Old is how it isn't much fun.   Shyamalan, adapting from a graphic novel, allows a pall to engulf the film.   He is clearly attempting to invoke Hitchcock, and even tends to insert himself in cameos in his films like the master did, but Hitchcock would've found a way to inject some humor or levity, even briefly.   

The plot can't carry the day and the characters aren't exactly fleshed out.   They are in a dilemma but we don't exactly feel for them in any profound way.   They are the people this is happening to, and they could've been interchanged with any number of other characters.   There isn't much about this particular group to care about.   The actors, while skilled, aren't given anything to work with.   We know a Shyamalan film wouldn't be complete without a climactic twist, but the reveal is mostly anti-climactic and in the end we are more depressed than thrilled.