The Meg (2018) * * *

Directed by:  John Turteltaub

Starring:  Jason Statham, Rainn Wilson, Robert Taylor, Jessica McNamee, Li Bingbing, Cliff Curtis, Masi Oka, Winston Chao

No, this isn't another Jaws ripoff.   The creature in question is a megalodon, an ancient precursor to the modern day shark which was thought to be extinct for two million years.    But, the scientists in The Meg disturb a portion of the ocean which contains parts deeper than previously explored and find themselves battling a megalodon much to their shock.    Besides its huge size and deadly appetite, the creature was supposed to be, you know, extinct.    But, now the scientists who built a multi-billion dollar underwater lab are forced to battle the monstrous being which has its eye on destroying or eating everything in its path.

This is not the type of movie in which you ask how megalodons managed to survive for millions of years in the remotest part of the ocean, or why there only seems to be one left, or possibly two at the most.    The megalodon is convincingly shot to evoke a legitimate threat to everyone not already eaten by it.    This includes Jonas Taylor (Statham), who specializes in deep underwater rescues but has been long retired after a large creature (likely the meg) disrupted a submarine rescue ten years ago, causing Taylor to save only eleven lives instead of the entire crew.    He is reluctant to return, but when one of the people in danger is his ex-wife (McNamee), Jonas becomes a rescuer once again.   In a pleasant twist, the ex and Jonas do not fall in love again because Jonas finds another love interest.

Statham infuses some humor and a few extra dimensions to the role.    He isn't simply an instrument of violence who sneers a lot and physically imposes his will on everyone.    It's a kinder, gentler Jason Statham, although the meg may not be as willing to co-sign that observation.    The Meg isn't Jaws and it would be unfair to expect that quality.    But, it is a competent action film which gets the job done; creating some suspenseful moments and the understanding that the fish underneath the menacing dorsal fin which protrudes above the water is attached to a much, much larger monster.    Once that is understood, The Meg takes on a charm of its own despite the gallons of blood spilled and body parts floating around. 

They Live (1988) * 1/2

Directed by:  John Carpenter

Starring:  Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster

They Live is a title which suggests an amusing harkening back to the 1950's B-movie sci-fi flicks, but we get the opposite.    It is a plodding, sluggish action film without the spirit of the films it is paying homage to.    The premise is compelling, but the execution of it is all wrong.   We meet drifter John Nada (Piper) who wanders Los Angeles with a large backpack looking for work at local construction sites.    He then settles into a Hooverville-type of outdoor dwelling in which the homeless live in tents and are fed by the local church.    Because of some odd actions by the church's blind pastor and strange speeches of doom which break in during local TV telecasts, Nada discovers the church is the focal point of the resistance against aliens whose messages and likenesses can only be seen through special sunglasses.

When Nada puts the glasses on, he sees alien beings within otherwise normal looking people (although not everyone is an alien) and subliminal messages such as "Obey", "Stay Asleep", and "Money is your God", etc. which lie apparently underneath billboards, magazines, and TV broadcasts.    The world with the glasses on is gloomy black and white, while the world without them appears normal and unassuming.    The aliens plan to subdue humans into becoming compliant, apathetic slaves through subliminal conditioning and a signal from a TV station.    Once Nada sees what he sees, he leads the resistance against the aliens.

Nada enlists the help of fellow construction worker Frank Armitage (David), which is also the name of the screenwriter (who is actually John Carpenter himself), but only after the two engage in a lengthy fistfight which grinds the already slow starting movie to a halt.    Piper, the famed heel wrestler with the big mouth who wore a kilt to the ring, is more jacked physically than he ever was in the squared circle, and his acting style resorts to his ring persona.   ("You are a formaldehyde face, man") he tells a woman who is actually an alien.    Despite Piper's best efforts, the film has the feel of trying to escape quicksand.  

Carpenter's career has been a mixed bag of very good films (Halloween and Escape from New York) to duds like this one, The Thing, and Escape from LA.    His better films are more original works, while homages and remakes of the sci-fi films of his youth aren't as successful.    They Live and The Thing have palls cast over them and aren't permitted to sneak in any fun or goofiness.    It's as if Carpenter knows the words but not the music.  

The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (2018) * * *

Directed by:  Judd Apatow

Featuring:  Garry Shandling, Jim Carrey, Jay Leno, Judd Apatow, Linda Doucett, Jeffrey Tambor, Al Jean

The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling is Judd Apatow's love letter to his late mentor.    To its credit, it doesn't pull punches about its subject.    To Apatow, not presenting the comedian warts and all would be a disservice and also less interesting.     Shandling, as a stand-up comic, actor, and late night talk show fill-in host, seemed to be holding back.    He managed to be funny and witty while being completely ill at-ease within his own skin.    Being happy was hard work for Shandling, as his written diaries which are highlighted in this two-part documentary tell us.    He had to talk himself into being happy and not to dwell on the negative.    If you need to consistently give yourself a written reminder to be happy and to let go, chances are you likely won't do either.   

Shandling is best known to older audiences as the star of the late 80's "It's Garry Shandling's Show" and the 90's HBO comedy "The Larry Sanders Show", and perhaps to younger audiences as the two-faced Senator Stern in the Marvel Universe movies Iron Man and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.    Roger Ebert wrote of Shandling in his review of the disastrous 2000 film "What Planet Are You From?": " His public persona is of a man unwilling to be in public. Words squeeze embarrassed from his lips as if he feels guilty to be talking."   It is a spot-on analysis and the sometimes overlong four-plus hour documentary confirms that.    Mike Nichols, who directed What Planet..., felt on the first day of shooting that Shandling was not the right actor for the lead role in a comedy, and Shandling spent the rest of the shoot knowing Nichols didn't want to be there.    This would only add to the self-doubt which plagued his life and also propelled him to try harder.

We learn of the event which would forever alter his life, which was the death of his ten-year-old brother and the sometimes unhealthy focus his mother placed on him in his brother's absence.    Shandling would joke about his mother's smothering attention, and we can tell the truth being spoken in jest.    This lack of closure would create a hole in Shandling no amount of success could fill.    It was as if a piece of him remained missing; a wound which never closed.    He never married and his only long-term relationship was with his Larry Sanders co-star Linda Doucett, whom he fired after the breakup which led to a sexual harassment settlement.    Doucett, despite all this, agreed to be interviewed and clearly still had a soft spot in her heart for Shandling.

Apatow has a clear love and appreciation for Shandling, and perhaps so much so that he allows scenes from various shows to run on too long.    The on-camera interviewees marvel at Shandling's work ethic and wit, while also lamenting his insecurities and his inability to let go of grudges, as was the case during his lawsuit against former agent Brad Grey.    The highlighted sections of his diaries seemed more like daily pep talks to snap him out of the sadness which at times threatened to overwhelm him.    Before his sudden 2016 death from a heart ailment, Shandling's diaries suggested he may have finally come to terms with his brother's death and for the first time perhaps ever was eagerly looking toward the future.    How long would this positivity have lasted?   We'll never know.  

Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! (1989) *

Directed by:  Jean Claude Lord

Starring:  Michael Pare, Marina Orsini, Matthew Laurance, Bernie Coulson, Anthony Sherwood, Kate Lynch

I thought I needed to suspend considerable disbelief watching the original Eddie and the Cruisers (1983), but the unnecessary sequel asks way too much of me.     Eddie lives now in Canada as a construction worker named Joe West. When he succumbs to the itch to perform again, he belts out flaccid 80's pop songs (sung by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band again) with precisely Eddie's voice.    If Jim Morrison returned from the dead under an assumed identity and looked and sang just like Jim Morrison, wouldn't it arouse at least a little suspicion?

There are no Cruisers in Eddie and the Cruisers II, except for one who appears in a cameo and deals with the return of his long gone best friend with way too much aplomb.    The original film was silly, but Cafferty at least provided us with some catchy original tunes and decent 60's staples covers like Runaround Sue.   In Part II, Cafferty's songs are dated and unmemorable.   I have a hard time believing any agent or manager would listen to them and be compelled to sign Eddie's new band. 

As the sequel opens, the record executives at Eddie's old label unearth "lost Eddie Wilson tapes" which they suggest were recorded after Eddie's presumed 1963 death in a road accident.    The answer to when they were recorded lies in a laughable interview with Bo Diddley (playing himself).  Putting up with Eddie/Joe is no small task.   It requires as much patience from his bandmates as it does from us to watch him.   He bellows on about "the music" and then proceeds to belt out their lame numbers.    And why did Eddie devastate his loved ones and friends by faking his death?    He mutters something about artistic integrity being compromised as the Cruisers gained popularity.    His life would've been considerably less stressful if he simply retired and didn't subject himself to possible criminal charges.  As far as I know, faking your own death is against the law somehow.

Eddie Wilson remains a shallow bore as much as he did in the first film.    We learn nothing about what it was like for him to be in hiding for over twenty years.    How did he avoid detection with just a mustache as the extent of his alteration of his appearance?    I was reminded of Jerry Seinfeld's classic bit about Clark Kent and Superman.   ("Let's face it folks, glasses are an excellent disguise")  Maybe Kent was onto something.    But no matter, Wilson's revelation of the world's worst-kept secret to a packed concert hall house causes barely any tremors.    If John Lennon suddenly materialized, the crowd would likely be too shocked with disbelief to cheer on any more songs. 

Along Came Polly (2004) * * * 1/2

Directed by:  John Hamburg

Starring:  Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Debra Messing, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Brown, Bob Dishy, Michele Lee, Hank Azaria, Jsu Garcia

For a guy whose livelihood depends on assessing risk, Reuben Pffefer (Stiller) bets on longshots in his personal life.   Reuben is an insurance risk analyst who knows eating from a bowl of nuts at your average bar increases risk of exposure to any number of bacteria, but then marries Lisa (Messing) who cheats on him with a scuba instructor on their honeymoon.  During his separation from Lisa, he begins a relationship with flighty Polly (Aniston), who goes through life without a plan or any semblance of direction.    

Along Came Polly receives most of its laughs from the absurd characters which populate Reuben's world, including his best friend Sandy Lyle (Hoffman), a washed-up child actor still living off his popularity from a teen movie he did back in the 80's, and Reuben's boss Stan Indursky (Baldwin), whose behavior could be construed as hilariously inappropriate in more ways than one.  Just listen to his speech to Reuben and Lisa at their wedding and you'll see what I mean.   And let's not forget daredevil CEO Leland Van Lew (Brown), who is looking to be insured by Reuben's firm while doing everything possible to up his risk factor, including sky diving off of the tallest building in LA and sailing during a hurricane.

Polly helps Reuben to stand outside of his self-protective bubble and take chances, even ones which he knows will likely cause him grief such as eating spicy food and those dastardly bar peanuts.    Which isn't to say he is 100% sure of Polly or Lisa.    In a scene reminiscent of a Friends episode starring Aniston, Reuben categorizes the pros and cons of both women to see who is a better fit statistically.    Maybe Lisa would be safer, if Reuben could get past the whole being cheated on during his honeymoon thing.

Reuben's relationship with Polly is more subtle in its comedy than the antics of his co-stars, who bring their own hilarious A-games and provide some comic gems.    Stiller proves once again he is the master of the straight man slow burn, while Aniston is appropriately likable.    Along Came Polly manages to mix up just the right amount of screwball romance while not overshadowing the supporting players.    You would be surprised what an entertaining mix it is. 

Reefer Madness (1936) * *

Directed by:  Louis Gasnier

Starring:  Dave O'Brien, Thelma White, Warren McCollum

The first time I was made aware of Reefer Madness was in It Came from Hollywood (1982), which compiled clips of some of the worst movies ever made up to that time.    Cheech and Chong hosted the segment which showcased Reefer Madness and it was properly heckled and made fun of.    The movie is propaganda to be sure; trying to steer people clear of marijuana, and it was allegedly instrumental in getting marijuana installed as a class one drug.    But, aside from bureaucrats, I can't imagine this over-the-top, silly film swaying anyone, even in 1936. 

The plot (plot?) is about a group of seemingly upstanding white folks who hold parties where weed is smoked and bad things immediately happen, including murder and a hit-and-run accident.     Marijuana leads to violence, rape, improper behavior, sex, and a future murder trial.   Don't say you haven't been warned.    Maybe Reefer Madness deserved to be satirized in books and movies chronicling the worst movies ever made, but I couldn't help but at least be mildly entertained by its absurdity for a brief period.   

The people puff on the joint instead of inhaling and immediately their eyes turn crazed.   One guy orders a woman (who is sitting at the piano with a joint hanging from her mouth like a cigarette) to "play faster" as he rubs his hands together simulating masturbation.    I wonder if there was a movie titled "Masturbation Madness" somewhere.     Reefer Madness was made during The Great Depression.    Weren't there bigger fish to fry?    Like millions unemployed in need of work?

Yes, Reefer Madness is a bad film; overacted and as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face.    But pointing out its badness is as redundant as complaining about a dog barking.    But, the purpose of my blog is to watch movies and report my observations to you, so I will do so.    Even with a movie made eighty plus years ago which wound up amusing likely stoned audiences at midnight theater screenings.  

In the Cut (2003) * *

Directed by:  Jane Campion

Starring:  Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kevin Bacon, Nick Damici, Sharrieff Pugh


Thank goodness a whodunit was inserted (no pun intended) into the middle of the lives of these mostly sex-obsessed people.    It breaks up the monotony.    If they aren't thinking about sex, they are talking about it, dreaming about it, or actually doing it.   Then, after the act, they talk more about what just happened.     The women act like they arrived direct from a Tennessee Williams play, and the male characters recite dialogue during sex which sounds similar to what a male porn star would say when he's banging his leading lady.

We are left with a confused movie.    Does it want to be soft porn or a murder mystery?    The murder mystery is slightly more compelling, while the sex scenes are shot in maddening soft focus which is supposed to be steamy, but instead makes me wonder if the camera was working right.     In the Cut represents Meg Ryan's first onscreen nudity after years of cheerful romantic comedies.    The nudity draws so much attention to itself, it reminds me of the awkward revealing of Halle Berry's breasts in Swordfish and Julie Andrews in SOB.    The nudity feels like a stunt and thus loses its eroticism.

Ryan is Frannie Avery, a high school English teacher whose sex life is unfulfilling.    She slept with a weirdo recently in John Graham (Bacon), who calls her relentlessly to find out why she dumped him.  Hint:  Maybe it's the incessant phone calls.     One day at a bar (in which she accompanies one of her students-also not a great idea), she goes to find the bathroom and stumbles upon a man and a woman having ravenous sex in the dark, with just enough lighting for her to see a tiny tattoo on the man's right wrist.    The woman is soon found dead, with her decapitated head in Frannie's apartment complex's garden.

The detective assigned to the case, Giovanni Malloy (Ruffalo), suspects a serial killer and this is soon confirmed with the deaths of two more women, including Frannie's sister Pauline (Leigh), who lives above a strip club and has a restraining order against her from her therapist.    Despite the possibility that the murders could've been committed by Frannie or even Malloy, they have down and dirty sex  with lots of heavy panting and soft core porn dialogue.    I'm not sure it's a great idea for Malloy to have sex with a possible suspect, but he must've seen Sea of Love and figured it would all turn out ok.    The Frannie and Malloy affair goes on far longer than it should because, when evidence turns up which may implicate Malloy, Frannie doesn't bother asking about it or discussing it.    Maybe she is attracted to the danger, or she just didn't want the movie to end just yet.

This is the first Meg Ryan role which attempts to showcase her sexuality for the first time on screen.   Usually, she would play perky, smiling, sexless types who gives off a sisterly vibe, but in In the Cut she is all Maggie the Cat, including walking around in a slip in her hot apartment.   The only thing missing is the Southern accent.     I suppose she doesn't have an air conditioner in her place, which should give her another reason to move after a disembodied head was found nearby.

The love scenes want to be Steamy and the characters aren't just wounded, but Wounded.    The actors are skilled enough to make these folks more intriguing than they should be.    I enjoyed Ruffalo's hardened police detective cynicism and his unapologetic crudity.    It at least gives Malloy a bit of an edge that makes him a little more electric than the rest.     But, then the movie devolves into flashbacks, tiresome sex scenes, and Frannie (who is intelligent) suddenly turning into a dope when the script requires it and allowing herself to be put into dangerous situations.    The ending plays fair with the rules of a whodunit, and it is refreshing to see Frannie have to fight to survive with no help forthcoming from anyone else.    But, after that resolution, we see Frannie hitchhiking down the expressway covered in blood and somehow managing to walk all the way home without anyone stopping to see why she is, well, covered in blood.